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Having a funeral (non Covid death!!) with the current rules

(10 Posts)
Crunchymum Tue 06-Oct-20 13:24:23

We can have up to 30 people attend mum's funeral but we cannot have a wake or any kind of commemoration afterwards?

I get that the rules are there to protect us, but we just want to give our mum a final goodbye (raise a glass to her, spend some time together)

Funerals are kind of non negotiable aren't they? I wish they were exempt from the "rule of 6"

OP’s posts: |
TheSeedsOfADream Tue 06-Oct-20 13:38:54

Sorry for your loss.
I had to watch my mother's via webcast in June due to lockdown. No singing, just 30 people all sitting one metre apart.
Unfortunately it is what it is. Those are the rules. flowers

Rainallnight Tue 06-Oct-20 13:43:45

I feel for you, I had ten people at my mum’s funeral in April.
Can you do something with just very close family afterwards?

CMOTDibbler Tue 06-Oct-20 13:49:24

My parents both died at the start of lockdown, and we decided that no funeral service was preferable to my brother and I staring at each other across the crematorium with nothing else (only 5 allowed at those points). Dad would have told us that protecting the living was more important, and actually its all been very 'them' - we scattered both sets of ashes somewhere they loved with just mine and my brothers family there and the kids playing oblivious to it all
I said to others that we would do more at some point, but I don't think that will happen tbh.
I'm so sorry for your loss

Racoonworld Tue 06-Oct-20 14:01:27

Sorry for your loss. It's rubbish but unfortunately that's the rules for now. We had a family funeral earlier this year and had a very small ceremony with most people watching at home via video link. We are going to have a big family party next year instead to remember him by.

Itsabeautifuldayheyhey Tue 06-Oct-20 14:25:17

If you aren't in an area where there are additional restrictions, then up to 6 people from 6 different households can get together, can't they? This may not be what you would want but that is something you could do now and perhaps you can arrange another get together for a memorial event in the future?

Crunchymum Tue 06-Oct-20 16:49:36

We are a big family, rule of 6 doesn't help us too much.

I realise we are all in the same boat but it really does suck.

OP’s posts: |
Racoonworld Tue 06-Oct-20 16:52:19

Could you split into smaller groups of up to 6 and have a drink with your group, then have a big get together next year? It does suck but you can still meet in groups if 6 at the moment so you may as well make the most of that for the funeral.

SazCat Tue 06-Oct-20 16:55:49

It really is awful. My Dad died in April during lockdown and we could only have 6 at the funeral, no get together after.

We (naively) thought things would be more back to normal by now and had originally thought we could have a memorial wake in the autumn (obviously not) and even our other idea of one a year after his death next Spring is looking unlikely.

Sending you strength and love x

Mindymomo Tue 06-Oct-20 16:56:35

It’s now 15 for my friend’s mother’s funeral. It’s so difficult for them to decide who will be able to go.

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