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AIBU to feel defeated already? I’m not a fucking teacher!

(21 Posts)
TheGriffle Fri 25-Sep-20 13:20:55

Picked dd up (year 3) from school yesterday to be informed they had had a student in her class test positive for Coronavirus and her whole class now has to isolate for 2 weeks.

Today they have sent some work through Google classrooms and I have no idea how we are going to get any of it done.

‘Luckily’ I guess me and Dh have been working from home so will be physically present during the next two weeks but we are working. Can’t take leave at such short notice and don’t even have enough leave to cover the next two weeks anyway.

Dh has a 4 day remote learning uni course so is unavailable Mon-Thur and he also has a bloody remote presentation and job interview on Tuesday afternoon as well and needs time to prep for that. It’s just all come at the worst time.

Dd is highly emotional and is not one of these kids that you can sit at a laptop and off she goes, she needs constant guidance, reassurance in between tantrums when things don’t go quite right.

I just don’t know how to do it all and feel a bit overwhelmed. I’m not a teacher. I respect her teachers so much for the hard work they’ve been doing but it’s too much.

I can’t parent both my children, work 8 hours a day, support my Dh and teach my eldest with the amount of input that is required.

I just want to crawl under my duvet until the next two weeks have passed.

She’s going to be so far behind, she’s already behind since March as the same applied then, we didn’t have the time or capacity to homeschool her for 4 months.

We even had to scrape and save to buy a laptop so she could access the work.

Sorry for the long post. I just needed to let it all out it seems.

OP’s posts: |
EachDubh Fri 25-Sep-20 13:26:19

First, take a deep breath. You will be okay and so will your daughter. Her whole class is out and teachers know not everyone will get through the work at home. 1:1 teaching requires far less time, so a whole school day can be done in a few hours, less if just focusing on num, lit and languages. Send the teacher an email, explain your concerns and ask what are the key things you want us to focus on and do 1h a day. Even without that she will catch up back at school but let the school know, they really don't want you feeling like this.

redpandaalert Fri 25-Sep-20 13:29:28

Get up at 5am - do 4 hours work. Cram the home schooling in until midday then do 4 more hours work. It's not fun but for 2 weeks doable. Only works if your work times are flexible and employers do need to be sympathetic. Tag team with your DH the following week or you do the first week and he does the second. You need to find a way as we have another 6 months of this this.

deflationexasperation Fri 25-Sep-20 13:29:33

Op my dd is hard to deal with too.
Can she read? Do the basics?

Can you bribe her to do some of it or work with you? Does she play roblox? Roblox was our savour during lock down, and it's creative, lots of different things for them to do. I used that to get dd to '' buy''time on it by doing work.. Set expectations really low and ask what essentials are.

cautiouscovidity Fri 25-Sep-20 13:30:37

In this circumstance, I can't understand why the teacher isn't teaching remotely. They're not ill themselves so surely they can just deliver the lessons (some of them) 'live'?
This would occupy your DD for at least some of the time, freeing you up to work.

emmathedilemma Fri 25-Sep-20 13:31:15

Do you get the school work sent through in advance or is it drip fed throughout the day?
If it's the former then can you plan your day around it e.g. do a bit after breakfast before you start work, some at lunchtime, some in the afternoon, find some bits that she should be able to manage to do on her own (or set the expectation that she does her work while you do yours)?
Yes she's young and never going to sit in front of a computer without adult intervention all day but they must have time at school where they're left alone to complete a task without kicking off so she's probably trying it on a bit with you. Make a schedule, make sure she understands how the day is going to look (keep it like the school day with break times), use bribery or rewards if needed, and make sure you factor in some fun time for when the work is done. If you don't get through everything don't beat yourself up about it.

pigeonsfeather Fri 25-Sep-20 13:32:26

It’s so difficult OP and I wish legislation would be passed to make it easier for working parents.

In your shoes I think I would focus on reading, to aid literacy and maybe some maths. Everything else can wait.

JS87 Fri 25-Sep-20 13:33:26

I'm dreading when this happens to us. You have my full sympathies!
From a purely selfish viewpoint I get so mad with people who think it is fine for kids to catch coronavirus. Every time they do, a school bubble bursts somewhere and parents are left picking up the home schooling pieces.

lorisparkle Fri 25-Sep-20 13:49:54

I really would not worry too much for a year 3. As long as you are doing reading, then as much if the English and maths work that you can manage and a bit of physical exercise you will be fine. Many of the children will be in the same situation.

myhobbyisouting Fri 25-Sep-20 14:12:24

Would she sit and read a book instead? Allow her to choose a book or two to be read over the next two weeks.

Watch some David Attenborough grinhonestly, she'll learn plenty.

For maths, play games like shut the box.

She should be able to manage all of that without realising she's even doing work

MrsVeryTired Fri 25-Sep-20 14:18:53

Agree with @myhobbyisouting

Would she do things like maths games online? Oxford Owl is good, as is StudyLadder.

badlydrawnbear Fri 25-Sep-20 14:31:04

I was you 2 weeks ago. DC went back to school yesterday. I cried everyday for the first week at the impossibility of it all. Do whatever you can. Our school set lots of work each day and set out emails emphasising that it all had to be done on the day it was set. I replied and said I would do my best to get as much as possible done but it would not be done on the day set because I don't see my DC on the days I go to work (work outside the home and leave at 6.30am and get home after 9pm) and DH is unable to do any school work and do his WFH job. It was fine, and DC tells me the teacher said yesterday to the class not to worry about it if they haven't done it all. Prioritise the most important bits, probably maths and reading and spelling, and try and fit them in at some point. I did some at the weekends too. Don't even think about trying to do it all no matter what the school say. You, as a parent and a family, have to survive this somehow so do the best you can without seriously impacting anyone's mental health. We achieved about half the work set, ignoring art and RE.

Howmanysleepsnow Fri 25-Sep-20 14:34:37

Try not to worry too much, you definitely won’t be the only one in this situation. My Y3 has missed 2 weeks of school this term and struggled so much with confidence that trying to support him to access home learning was a nightmare (and I had another 3 dc to support simultaneously!) His new teacher says he isn’t behind at all, which is nothing short of miraculous as he was hugely behind in March and only finally learnt to read in lockdown (we ignored the set English in favour of reading as it seemed pointless doing English with a non-reader).
My theory is that an hour or so of 1:1 Is worth a whole day in school , so I use bribery and 20 minute blocks! 2 weeks catching up isn’t huge in the scheme of things if needed. Let her build a den to work in, or fit in a little work before and after wfh. Could she FaceTime friends and do the work together? My older dc (8 and 12) like that, though my y3 is only just 7 and would get distracted. In lockdown we used to arrange for him and a friend to have break time together on FaceTime or Roblox, and sometimes that was enough to keep him working until break! A jelly bean per 4 correct maths answers really seemed to improve focus too!

TheGriffle Fri 25-Sep-20 17:45:15

Thank you for the support and not completely slaying me for being a wimp. It just feels all too much at the minute! I’d already felt really down the last few weeks with everything and now it’s her year that gets shut down first in her school.

She can read but hasn’t caught the bug yet. I’m going to get her to choose a book and make sure she reads for half an hour every day. We have an online maths thing from school that she can do with supervision so we will both sit at the table and work with me helping her when I can and we still have loads of maths and English work books from lockdown that I should be able to persuade her to do.
She’s good at spellings so that bit should be easy enough as well.

When she can’t do something straight away she gets very very frustrated with herself and angry and gives up/strops rather than accept it and try again.

We will cope, I know we will it’s just so unfair that after 5/6 months we’re back here after only a few weeks at school.

OP’s posts: |
SmileEachDay Fri 25-Sep-20 17:52:31

In this circumstance, I can't understand why the teacher isn't teaching remotely. They're not ill themselves so surely they can just deliver the lessons (some of them) 'live'?

I’m not sure if that would help the OP. If her daughter needs the level of support she has indicated, I doubt her daughter would just sit and engage in live lessons. It’s very difficult to ensure engagement when teaching remotely.

It sounds as though there is lots of work OP - I would draw up a schedule that is work/nice thing/work/nice thing - if that means she’s playing/reading/watching TV for half the time, that’s ok.

I’m a teacher at secondary and completely get it that not all the work will be done.

Hope it’s ok next week.

TheGriffle Fri 25-Sep-20 17:57:15

Thank you. She loves art and crafting so will intersperse work with fun.

She is perfect at school, never looses her cool even when things go wrong, it’s just at home where she feels safe enough to release that it all blows up.

The teacher has done some things of her reading the story they’re doing at school and said if they want to record themselves reading etc they can do so they are trying. This is the first class to be sent home in our school so they’re the test to how the emergency homeworking works!

OP’s posts: |
SmileEachDay Fri 25-Sep-20 17:59:15

Thank you. She loves art and crafting so will intersperse work with fun

Sounds great! A schedule really helped mine when homeschooling- I think it added some order into what DC felt was a very slippery and chaotic situation!!

(I did get into trouble for not following it a couple of times 🤣)

Sounds like her school are trying to engage!!

PrivateD00r Fri 25-Sep-20 18:03:01

OP we had to do the home school stuff on days off the last time. If you work FT, you will have to do it at the weekend, it will be quicker than you think. You can do this!

OpheliasCrayon Fri 25-Sep-20 19:58:55

TheGriffle

Picked dd up (year 3) from school yesterday to be informed they had had a student in her class test positive for Coronavirus and her whole class now has to isolate for 2 weeks.

Today they have sent some work through Google classrooms and I have no idea how we are going to get any of it done.

‘Luckily’ I guess me and Dh have been working from home so will be physically present during the next two weeks but we are working. Can’t take leave at such short notice and don’t even have enough leave to cover the next two weeks anyway.

Dh has a 4 day remote learning uni course so is unavailable Mon-Thur and he also has a bloody remote presentation and job interview on Tuesday afternoon as well and needs time to prep for that. It’s just all come at the worst time.

Dd is highly emotional and is not one of these kids that you can sit at a laptop and off she goes, she needs constant guidance, reassurance in between tantrums when things don’t go quite right.

I just don’t know how to do it all and feel a bit overwhelmed. I’m not a teacher. I respect her teachers so much for the hard work they’ve been doing but it’s too much.

I can’t parent both my children, work 8 hours a day, support my Dh and teach my eldest with the amount of input that is required.

I just want to crawl under my duvet until the next two weeks have passed.

She’s going to be so far behind, she’s already behind since March as the same applied then, we didn’t have the time or capacity to homeschool her for 4 months.

We even had to scrape and save to buy a laptop so she could access the work.

Sorry for the long post. I just needed to let it all out it seems.

It's ok to feel the way you do - and if it's any reassurance I am a teacher, I'm a specialist in behaviour and have worked in SEN schools for years and years.

I cannot teach my own kid. We struggle with homework , I struggle with their behaviour, I'm calm as anything at work with the worst behaviour you can possibly get but I sometimes end up upstairs crying when I can't get my own kids to do what I want.

It's ok. You're not a teacher, and even those of us who are can't necessarily home school

Take it easy. Do your best. That's all anyone can ask x

Lemons1571 Fri 25-Sep-20 20:18:13

I would ignore anything that doesn’t feature in the SATS. So do a bit of reading, spelling, and maths (times tables rockstars, mathletics or whatever your school uses). Don’t push it, it’s not worth the stress. Just so it’s ticking over a bit. Wouldn’t bother with anything else (science, project work, pe, that sort of thing). At year 3 she’ll have time to catch up once a vaccine is rolled out.

Our primary got arsey at one point last year. I just replied that DS needed teaching, not just resources thrown at him, and they were free to arrange the teaching element however they wished. Strangely enough they laid off us then.

I also have older children, and I take the view that I’m far far better to keep my job and earning potential. It enables us to pay for private tutoring in whatever subject / course the kids need extra help in. And this way they get taught by someone that knows what they’re doing, rather than me muddling through and getting half of it wrong. The kids much prefer being taught by someone who knows what they’re doing too.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis Fri 25-Sep-20 22:15:57

"Get up at 5am - do 4 hours work. Cram the home schooling in until midday then do 4 more hours work. It's not fun but for 2 weeks doable. "

Ridiculous.

She's 8/Year 3. There is no need. Do an hour with her a day. Get her to read and draw and do those online maths things unsupervised. Let her play. It's a fortnight. They are all in the same boat.

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