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Erm, shielding & sex!

(97 Posts)
anniversarywoes Sun 20-Sep-20 18:05:56

Possibly a subject for the sex topic but it's very much to do with covid so here goes!

Dh is currently living elsewhere, he is vulnerable to covid due to a health condition and recently has been quite poorly, so would be classed as extremely vulnerable at the moment but he is getting better.
I work in an environment where I'm potentially could be exposed daily to covid, it's a job where social distancing is almost impossible and I'm unable to wear ppe.
So we made the (hard!) decision for him to move in with family who are retired. He is able to wfh and I see him often for walks, coffee in the garden etc. It is shit but the alternative is way worse so we're dealing with it.

So, our dilemma, it's our wedding anniversary in a few weeks and we talked about having a walk in the countryside or drinks in the garden. Lame but we're obviously limited! Dh (after a few drinks!) asked if a 'hand job' would be safe and it got me thinking.,,, If there was no kissing and we wore masks (so attractive!) could we, erm, do what couples do on their anniversary?
I'm guessing not but I'm sad and I miss him sad

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RMarieClaire Sun 20-Sep-20 18:34:11

I'm sorry but no I dont think you could make it safe. Only option might be to self isolate for two weeks first. Or take a test and isolate until you get the results (not what they are for but people are doing this for more stupid reasons)

I'm so sorry for what you're going through - it must be extremely hard.

MaraScottie Sun 20-Sep-20 18:44:32

Totally think you could do it doggy style, outdoors. Sounds a bit grim but I would probably class that as lower risk than a conversation across a table grin

anniversarywoes Sun 20-Sep-20 18:49:14

So two very different replies grin
We're trying to work out what's minimal contact, so doggy style does fit the bill!
I have the type of job that means I really can't get caught getting jiggy outside!!!!

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dementedpixie Sun 20-Sep-20 18:50:44

Face away from each other outdoors and wear masks - safer than indoors i suppose!

dementedpixie Sun 20-Sep-20 18:51:25

Or indoors with windows open for ventilation

Nellodee Sun 20-Sep-20 18:52:30

Time to build a glory hole?

PhylisPrice Sun 20-Sep-20 18:55:37

Sorry but the images this is conjuring are hilarious 🤣 I hope you get your anniversary action but do agree doggy in the garden spunds like your best option. Could you maybe hide behind 2 wheels bins next to each other for cover? 😆🙈

anniversarywoes Sun 20-Sep-20 19:13:37

Glory hole confusedgrin
The garden is a good idea, although potentially traumatising for either the dc or grandparents! (depending on the 'venue')
I wondered if I booked a squeaky clean hotel room it would be safe? Well ventilated, masks on etc The no kissing would feel a bit sex worker but I'm sure it would be worth it!!!

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BabyLlamaZen Sun 20-Sep-20 19:16:13

oh op! I feel for you but this is also cracking me up, I'm sorry! 🙈 do you have any time off planned where you really can isolate for a few weeks? It's so hard if you can't wfh! Tbh hj is probably the safest. You could even wear gloves!!

RMarieClaire Sun 20-Sep-20 19:16:14

I'm also trying to work out whether the shower might help if outside isn't doable. We need guildelines on this on the nhs website

Augustbreeze Sun 20-Sep-20 19:17:05

Terence Higgins Trust (sexual health) have written guidance on sex and distancing......

anniversarywoes Sun 20-Sep-20 19:18:11

@RMarieClaire yes! Guidelines would be extremely useful grin
Maybe using the power of Mumsnet we could provide Boris & co with the first draft!

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Newjez Sun 20-Sep-20 19:19:08

Snow angel. Depending on your height, you may even get your 2 metres.

LordEmsworth Sun 20-Sep-20 19:21:09

Terence Higgins Trust guidelines How do you feel about wearing a mask during sex?

anniversarywoes Sun 20-Sep-20 19:21:25

God, now I'm worried that this will be picked up by the tabloids. I work with some very vulnerable people and parts of my job are hugely confidential confused
I have name changed!

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musicalfrog Sun 20-Sep-20 19:22:30

With all this anticipation, however it happens im sure it will be amazing OP!

Congratulations! grin

Ktay Sun 20-Sep-20 19:24:03

The advertising algorithm seems to think you should book a Premier Inn!

anniversarywoes Sun 20-Sep-20 19:25:47

@BabyLlamaZen sadly my job could never be wfh, I work with vulnerable adults that really need face to face care/support.

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anniversarywoes Sun 20-Sep-20 19:27:27

@Ktay cheaper than a posh meal out!!
It's actually a reasonably significant anniversary this year, so £29 would be a bargain grin

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GeorgeMichaelsEspadrille Sun 20-Sep-20 19:27:58

Reverse cowgirl, in the bath with a couple of sloshes of milton and the extractor fan on.

Good luck and let us know how you get on!

MaraScottie Sun 20-Sep-20 19:30:55

You need one of those Covid cuddle curtains ...just with an extra hole.

ballsdeep Sun 20-Sep-20 19:32:14

Anal or a 69

Augustbreeze Sun 20-Sep-20 19:33:19

This is hilarious... but I wonder if the most truly loving thing might be to forego the pleasures this time - and have a blow-out (?!?!) next year or the year after!

Augustbreeze Sun 20-Sep-20 19:33:58

The risks from any of the suggestions are still pretty high, I'd have thought.

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