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How can you do this to your children (and yourselves)?

(984 Posts)
endoftheworldaoife Sun 13-Sep-20 09:06:02

It has been six months and it's now very clear that covid won't be doing away in our lifetimes. A vaccine won't eradicate it (just as a vaccine didn't eradicate flu).

Most of you seem to be willing to accept social distancing and masks for the foreseeable. And I don't get it. We are a tribal species. We literally die without contact and get sick without communication. Kids are learning arrange, stilted ways of being that will just worsen their digital reliance. OCD is being normalised. Dating will be neurotic and masked. Freshers won't make new loves or lifelong friends like we did. As for their working lives...

I wouldn't mind catching covid (indeed I'm sure we all will sooner or later) so can someone explain to me what on earth is happening in their heads to tip the balance? If it only affected us, I could understand (well, I couldn't but this feels like child abuse on a giant scale).

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Friendsoftheearth Sun 13-Sep-20 09:10:05

Most parents I know have taken a moderate view on this.

For instance my dc go to school, hang out with friends, camping with friends, sleepovers and do normal stuff. What we don't do is have huge parties, go to crowded beaches etc. I don't think they care one way or another about the lack of parties so they are not stilted or indeed suffering.

They have enjoyed sports, water sports and all the rest.

Their lives are more or less back to normal (with the addition of wearing a mask time to time) so definitely not child abuse, or even anything to worry about now the schools are back.

endoftheworldaoife Sun 13-Sep-20 09:12:44

But you will accept "the rule of six” and everything else that is about to be imposed. Don't get me wrong, I know some families are doing a lot better than others. I'd say a majority are willing to live with lifelong restrictions. Despite knowing what that means for the next generation.

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TwigTheWonderKid Sun 13-Sep-20 09:13:58

Because, as you point out, we are a community and we have a responsibility towards each other? With some exceptions, I don't believe the majority of us will be scarred for life by these restrictions. Medical science is learning more about this virus every day and finding improved ways to treat symptoms, but it is also clear that there can be long term health implications for even young, healthy people and we need to buy some time. We are only 6 months into this, 6 months is such a short time in most people's lives and children are incredibly resilient. Yes, it's shit but people have lived through worse and survived.

thewinkingprawn Sun 13-Sep-20 09:15:59

No one I know is preventing their children getting together with others, having birthday parties, going to school etc. We certainly shall not be accepting the rule of 6 and neither will most people we know although we’ll get together with one other family making 9 of us rather than several families at one time as we usually would. I can’t believe that we are doing this to our economy and this our children’s futures though. I think that is criminal.

endoftheworldaoife Sun 13-Sep-20 09:16:15

A responsible community would not shut down in the face of a disease most people don't even know they have. What sort of community causes massive harm to their own children?

We are six months in and we know this won't be gone for years. In a couple of months millions of families are going to learn what genuine poverty looks like. Older children won't ever get back this time. Their lives are scarred for good.

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endoftheworldaoife Sun 13-Sep-20 09:17:11

Agree, prawn. And to present it as the selfless thing to do... It's nightmarish.

Honestly feel like we're in the twilight zone.

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Lindy2 Sun 13-Sep-20 09:18:21

Because luckily the majority understand that not everything is just about them. They understand the need to look after others and are unselfish enough to alter the way they behave to protect society as a whole.

Unfortunately some people seem to be too selfish to understand or care and only think of their own needs.

Which type of person are you?

ValancyRedfern Sun 13-Sep-20 09:18:28

I agree with you OP.

chunkyrun Sun 13-Sep-20 09:18:40

I'm getting on with life it is what it is. However, I support a young lady with one lung so while everyone else is getting back to normal she's one of the few that needs to be very careful and the people around her need to be very careful. I don't know anyone rigorously following the rules but when it comes to her everyone is adapting their behaviour to keep her safe

piscis Sun 13-Sep-20 09:18:58

A vaccine won't eradicate it (just as a vaccine didn't eradicate flu).

But we were not living our lives socially distancing or wearing masks even when flue is not eradicated. So the same for Coronavirus, once there is a vaccine, the risk would be very small, so no point in living our lives as we are now.
I don't think we'll keep living the way we are now once there is a vaccine or effective treatments, no.
I think that some things like mask wearing in public transport is a good idea though (just as they did in some countries pre-covid), at least if you have even a slight cold.
I am more worried a bout the kids...

chocolatesweets Sun 13-Sep-20 09:19:02

I agree with you OP. It is disgusting.

endoftheworldaoife Sun 13-Sep-20 09:19:25

Lindy, this is the mindset I don't understand. You have had your youth. You've made friends, fallen in love, had kids.

Why are you happy to prevent your children from doing the same? It's utterly selfish - of you!

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ValancyRedfern Sun 13-Sep-20 09:20:27

It's not selfish to very worried about the impact this is having on young people.

RenegadeMrs Sun 13-Sep-20 09:20:50

I have a memory longer than a few months and remember lockdown. If it take a mask (which doesn't completely stop communication ffs) and stepping back from others to resume most of my (and my childrens) normal activities so be it. I want to avoid further lockdowns when my and my children's freedoms actually were significantly restricted.

Huffing about masks and standing back from one another and equating it to child abuse seems hyperbolic verging on hysterical.

BuffaloCauliflower Sun 13-Sep-20 09:20:52

No I won’t be following the rule of 6, though not much more as it won’t be necessary. I agree it’s not good for us as people to be constantly separated and stilted, we’re a species that needs each other. It’s bad enough we already live so segregated in nuclear families and separate houses. There will always be bugs that kill us, we can’t actually shut the world down every time that happens.

DipSwimSwoosh Sun 13-Sep-20 09:21:55

I'm with you OP.

chocolatesweets Sun 13-Sep-20 09:22:14

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BuffaloCauliflower Sun 13-Sep-20 09:22:36

@Lindy2 exactly, it’s not just about yourself - seems the ‘them’ you care about though are just the elderly people most as risk though, and not the children and younger people who are actually suffering most despite being the least at risk.

flymyprettyfly Sun 13-Sep-20 09:24:24

God lord. So dramatic.

Do you actually think we will be living this way forever?!

I mean seriously, do you actually think your children won't be able to experience normal life, have relationships, or have the youth and freedom you did?

There have been worse pandemics before our time and normality resumed.

A vaccine didn't eradicate flu, but we live our lives along side it without any restrictions or precautions.

This is a novel virus. We are still learning about it.

I'm very optimistic that there will be a vaccine and, or, better treatments available.

Don't worry OP, your children will be just fine.

hilariousnamehere Sun 13-Sep-20 09:24:29

It's been six months, not six years. I don't think anyone is suggesting lifelong social distancing, masks or rules of 6 - I think we are just all feeling our way through something brand new we've never experienced before. It won't be like this forever even if we don't find a vaccine, as you say humans are social creatures.

I have struggled with how fast everything has changed this year, and I do think there will be long term changes, but in things like commuting and general hygiene out and about.

And kids are far more resilient than we give them credit for - even a year of disruption isn't so horrendous in the grand scheme of life.

endoftheworldaoife Sun 13-Sep-20 09:25:08

The only alternatives aren't soft social isolation or lockdown, renegade. Both of those things were unthinkable, or should have been.

It's possible to take reasonable measures without ripping the heart out of what it means to be human.

Masks are a sideshow imo. I think forcing them is awful but they're not the core of the problem.

I can't see the point of saving people from death (a tiny number of people) by making life below worth living.

Not to mention the people who will die BECAUSE of restrictions.

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BatSegundo Sun 13-Sep-20 09:25:44

This is a very pessimistic view that I don't share. Yes flu is always with us, but a vaccine means that many people are protected. We also know a lot about flu, have some reasonably effective treatments and worldwide monitoring programmes to try and find and prevent the spread of problematic strains.

Despite this, people die of flu every year, which is very sad. But in much smaller numbers than Covid, because of the above.

If Covid becomes endemic, the same will apply. Once we have a vaccine (seems likely next year) and we have a good understanding of the disease and some treatments (have already made a lot of progress with this) then Covid will finally become just like the flu that so many are keen to compare it to. Yes, some people will still die from it, but we will have done all we can reasonably do to prevent that and so life for everyone else will be back to the usual human soup of parties, hugs and random shags for Freshers.

chocolatesweets Sun 13-Sep-20 09:26:02

@hilariousnamehere it was supposed to be 3 weeks...

TheMurk Sun 13-Sep-20 09:26:52

Agree OP.

I find it terrifying how many people blithely accept whatever new measures they are issued with.

We are being divided, separated and isolated as a population. It makes us weaker as individuals when we don’t have a support network (safety in numbers) therefore easier to scare and control.

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