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My father died

(11 Posts)
peoniesarejustperfect Sun 23-Aug-20 20:36:32

My father died and I am so sad. He was very weak and in a nursing home. It was in mid May and I have been very up and down, but feel so sad that he's gone. Especially sad that so many people aren't taking this seriously.Kids going back to school in two weeks and still very keen to keep seeing my Mum, who is now on her own. How do I keep doing this in a safe way? I'm not really sure why I'm posting, but just feel this big void and urrrgh.

OP’s posts: |
JanewaysBun Sun 23-Aug-20 20:39:46

So sorry to hear this xxx

Babs709 Sun 23-Aug-20 20:40:02

OP I’m so sorry for your loss flowers

Is your mum geographically quite close? Is she vulnerable?

There has been progress since mid May in terms of treating covid and caring for patients. Which makes it all the sadder about your dad but is important to remember when seeing your mum.

AriettyHomily Sun 23-Aug-20 20:40:19

I'm sorry for your loss x

Dinky06 Sun 23-Aug-20 20:41:29

@peoniesarejustperfect I lost my elderly father to Covid back in April and have felt like I've been in a fog since. Some people have been compassionate and so lovely and kind that I've been beyond moved whilst others are surprised I'm still sad about it and why have I not moved on. I'm so sorry for your loss and so for what it's worth, you're not alone. Sending love and hugs at this horrible, hard time. It will get easier, we just have to be patient

Shieldingending Sun 23-Aug-20 20:42:55

Of I'm so sorry to read this, how hard for you thanks
Is there a way you can see your mum at a bit of a distance when the children are back at school ? I know it's really hard to do. I've been more relaxed seeing my parents over the summer whilst we are not at work / school (I'm a teacher) but once we are back we plan to see them with us being in their conservatory and them being in the adjoining dining room so all in the house but 2 m apart

Dreamersandwishers Sun 23-Aug-20 20:45:38

Ah Peonies, so sorry for your loss. It must be especially tough at this time, when our contact with friends and loved ones is curtailed. It’s is the oldest cliche, but time does help. And being kind to yourself.
It may actually help you to get back to the routine of kids going to school.
As to seeing your DM, absolutely, you should be able to do this. If the kids are pre-teen it’s probably a bit easier. Until things settle though, practise good hygiene, and perhaps take your temperature regularly so you can tell if it’s on the rise. Keep your 2 metre distance, and maybe stick to well ventilated areas- leave a door open if you are inside , or some windows. 💐for you and your mum.

peoniesarejustperfect Sun 23-Aug-20 20:49:29

Jane, Babs, Arietty, Shielding. Thank you so much for the lovely messages. Mum is super brave and just wants to get on with normal life, but she is in her 80s. We've almost been back to normal with her over the summer and she is quite gung ho but I am worried about the autumn. She lives 20 mins from us and we are the closest of three children.
Dinky - I am so, so sorry for your loss, and understand the fog. Sending you much love and hugs. Would love to chat to you more as we sound in a very similar boat.
Xx

Dinky -

OP’s posts: |
peoniesarejustperfect Sun 23-Aug-20 20:51:23

Dreamers - thank you for such positive advice - you are very sensible and very kind. x

OP’s posts: |
ChateauMargaux Sun 23-Aug-20 21:45:08

I am so sorry. It must be so hard and people not taking it seriously must be truly awful. I don't have an answer as to how you carry on seeing your Mum safely while your children go back to school but I am sure you both need each other right now.

Dinky06 Sun 23-Aug-20 22:49:43

@peoniesarejustperfect thank you, let's definitely keep in touch. I too worry lots for my mum, it's been awful seeing her so sad but it also made me even more grateful to have her around - not that I was ever ungrateful! I hope you know what I mean smile

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