Widowed mum with asthmatic child anxious about school return

[blogCAT21]

Hello all,

I wonder if there are any other parents out there with asthmatic kids who are worried about sending their kids back to school?

I am a widowed mum with a 10 year old whose asthma is triggered by viruses. Serious asthmatic episodes have involved paramedics, ambulances, A&E, nebulisers, steroids and suspected pneumonia so you can understand why I am reluctant to send him back when community transmission is rising. We also live not far from Leicester so am concerned that the high local infection rates will spread from there.

Having looked at the schools plans I am not confident he will be safe as they will be having year group bubbles which will be 60+ children, no masks, indoor teaching, no social distancing and no special provision for vulnerable children. The school has consistently toed the government line rather than following a precautionary principle and prior to lockdown did not close the school when a staff member had CV. I pulled my son from school a week early because they were not taking it seriously.

I know the scientific and medical line is that children are at low risk from getting ill with CV, but it doesn't mean that don't get ill and some do die. So if it's your child it doesn't matter what that risk is. My son could be the unlucky one to fall into the statistic.

My last husband had cystic fibrosis and died of lung failure in a very similar way to that of CV patients, so I have experienced first hand losing a loved one and the horrible way they pass. I can't bear to think of anyone else going through that, especially my son or myself for that matter. This frightens me so much.

As a widow too I am on my own with no partner to help out, so my other big worry is even if my son got it and was asymptomatic and passed it on to me, how would I cope on my own? It's hard enough juggling everything during normal times when i'm ill, but I could be very ill and I can't exactly ask my parents to look after my son as that would put them at risk being in their late 60s. I have asked my sister (who is in her 20s) to be on standby in case of an emergency, but it's not ideal. My son has been through enough losing his dad to have to worry about losing me too.

I would actually like him to go back to school, so he can see his friends and catch on schooling and it would be far easier for my to work too but my instinct is that it just isn't safe enough. Even if he catches a normal cold which triggers an asthma attack, he would then have to have treatment which would again put us both at risk.

If I decide not to send him back and the school are not supportive about it I am seriously considering off-rolling him because I can't afford the fines and the risk of possible court action for not sending him in.

I would love to hear other people's thoughts on this who are in a similar situation.
Best wishes to you all x

[herecomesthsun]

Not in a very similar situation; we do have a child with asthma, but not so badly affected.

Have you discussed with your son's doctors about what they recommend?

Also, what other parents are suggesting on here is to talk to the school about the situation, although from what you say they have not been as helpful as you might have wished.

There is more guidance coming today, let's hope it will be helpful for someone in your situation!

[nicknamehelp]

Can you talk to GP for advice? Perhaps also school as your child will not be the only asthmatic child.

[IncidentsandAccidents]

OP, you have suffered so much, I'm not surprised you feel the way you do. I second the suggestions to contact your child's medical consultant and the school to discuss your concerns. I really hope that they are supportive and you can come to a decision that gives you peace of mind 💐

[blogCAT21]

Thanks everyone, I shall certainly do as you suggest x

[duffeldaisy]

Hi OP so sorry for your loss. It is a hard situation. Good idea to ask doctors to find out the exact risk to your son.

We have family members with health issues who have been told they’re at risk, so we’re similarly unsure. I actually found it helpful to look up local home educating groups on Facebook. We’ve not decided, still waiting to see what happens to the figures, though we’re also close to a major hotspot. But I found just reading about home educators meeting up to teach/learn and socialise put my mind at rest a bit, as that was my biggest worry - the children feeling isolated. It’s helped just to look at the unknown, as it wasn’t as scary as I’d imagined, so it’s not such an all-or-nothing situation.

All the best with deciding.