Non-resident parent flouting rules since beginning

[Malpki]

What do you do when your ex (non RP) has been openly disregarding the lockdown rules throughout the entirety of lockdown (BF, visitors, etc.)? Despite warning my ex once on day one, when they admitted a friend visited.

I've been shuttling my child back and to unaware, putting my child at risk, myself, and my partner. Feels very selfish and pretty pi**ed off about it.

[midnightstar66]

Well now it's probably allowed (I don't know exact circumstances as you've been vague) and you are all well so what's the problem?

[Malpki]

Circumstances are two people from different households inside the same house, staying over, not social distancing. Been happening since beginning. And I don't believe this scenario is allowed yet.

Thankfully we're well. I've regularly done a shop and prescriptions for two vulnerable people (older parents). Social distancing applied when dropping off though.

Just fairly irked at the lack of consideration and putting us all at risk. Or am I being too sensitive, and should be thinking, no harm, no foul?

If I'd known this back in March, I'm thinking I might have threatened no access, but I know how important contact is for my child. Maybe I should just report it?

[purpleme12]

Well it's no good reporting it now
There's not really much you can do now

[Gingerkittykat]

Who can you report it too?

How many visitors have they had? Is it just the BF or have they been having wild parties?

[Malpki]

@purpleme12 thanks, I think that's my thoughts too. It's hard to actually gauge how serious it is. I keep relating it to drink driving... Probably get from A to B ok, but at quite a risk. I'd report drink driving if my child was involved I think.

@Gingerkittykat most local police constabularies have online covid19 breach reporting forms. No wild parties, but multiple BF (not judging btw) and other visitors (2-3) not social distancing.

[Waxonwaxoff0]

Wouldn't bother me. My ex is a key worker so is at risk anyway and he's still been having DS since the start of lockdown.

Reporting won't do anything anyway, the police won't do anything.

[midnightstar66]

Report it if you feel better doing so. Doubt anything will be done about it but you can try. Exp has had his girlfriend and her son coming to stay each weekend when he has our dc. She has older dc in her hone who are key workers: I suppose I could have made a fuss but I figured their relationship with their father was probably more important than the small extra risk.

[Malpki]

Thanks all. Helpful.

It's so difficult to understand how serious going against the rules is. I've just been following them as told. But there's a spread of people that are a bit more relaxed, which makes me think some of my thoughts are over the top.

[HugeAckmansWife]

Think big picture. In the unlikely event that your report was acted upon, what would the fall out be? And then compare to that the actual harm or risk of harm that has occurred. Blind rule following is not a virtue and breaking them, in a measured and risk assessed way is, in my opinion fine. I saw non cohabiting partner before it was allowed'. My kids go their dad's and mix with their step sibling who goes to her dad's. That last was allowed under the rules but was more risky than me seeing DP which wasn't. I 100% think you should let this go, especially now.