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Wfh and home educating, how are you doing?

(24 Posts)
KDOWKIZO Sat 27-Jun-20 12:50:48

Just wanted to check in and see how people are getting on. I have been wfh with a 6 and 12 year old since schools closed, neither of my children will be back at school til September. I am also trying to home educate at the same time.
Tbh I am absolutely burnt out, exhausted and have constant guilt.
How are other people in this situation getting on? Are your employers taking your situation into account? I feel like it has been forgotten that we have so much to juggle. My manager said we are flexible, you can work every evening if you like. Whilst I am grateful to be able to wfh and have a job, I also cannot carry on doing so much and need down time for myself occasionally too. Even with summer holidays looming i just dont know how it can all be done without having a breakdown or letting children on screens all the time.
Anybody else in the same situation, how are you doing?

OP’s posts: |
Lemons1571 Sat 27-Jun-20 13:01:23

Screens, tbh. I am prioritising the salary and mortgage payments over twinkl etc. I don’t want it to be this choice, this way, but the kids need a mother that is not burnt out and tearful.

My Year 4 does his best with the online stuff set, he’s done really well all things considered. I can’t help with a lot of the year 7 and 10 work anyway.

Primary is fine and understands. To be honest, if they didn’t, what can they do? Give me a detention?

We’re all doing our best.

Lemons1571 Sat 27-Jun-20 13:02:43

I have also noticed a lack of threads on this topic for a while. Wonder if a lot of parents have quietly given up and stepped back from the enthusiastic do-it-all of the early days in March.

commentatorz Sat 27-Jun-20 13:06:51

You are not alone. Of course it is impossible to work full time and home educate simultaneously, so don't beat yourself up over it.

I started off by getting work done partially during the day, getting up early, plonking my son (6) down to play switch games for about 2-3 hours while I have meeting or work and teaching/playing/taking him out for the other 3 during school hours. No support of any note from his school.

Then cooking dinner, cleaning etc, putting to bed from 5 til 8. Then working from 8 til midnight to catch up on work. But it isn't sustainable and you will get burned out. I'm now gradually burning through my annual leave by taking a day or 2 off work a week to recharge.

He's now back to school Thurs and Fridays but his school (for no apparent reason) have abandoned teaching the national curriculum or anything to help his progression.

Do you have others who can help day-to-day? I am unfortunately a single parent with no family nearby.

ScrapThatThen Sat 27-Jun-20 13:08:28

Year 10 is working her socks off but she has realised she's 'doing the work' but not actually learning anything. It's easy to take shortcuts, look up answers, concentrate on what you have to submit. Some subjects are setting a disproportionate amount of work (looking at you, English) so it's hard to do things well and do it properly. She's really worried.

PumpkinPie2016 Sat 27-Jun-20 13:09:10

To be honest,I was really struggling sad My Nana died at the start of lockdown (not Covid), we were very close and it hit hard. I was completely run down as I had spent the final two weeks of her life caring for her even more than normal. Of course, I didn't mind but it was hard and meant that for the first two weeks of lockdown, I did very little school work with DS sad I was emotionally and physically exhausted plus grieving and just couldn't do it.

I was doing about an hour a day with him after that but also working from home. I am a secondary teacher with a leadership position and work has been utterly crazy, even in lockdown.

I am eternally grateful that my son is Y1 and went back to school on June 15th 4 days a week.

I just hope the full return for all goes ahead in September!

NorthernChinchilla Sat 27-Jun-20 13:15:02

Knackered. DH and I split the load fairly, but we're both overwhelmed with work (Police and SS) and about the only thing keeping us from going over the edge is that our preschooler went back to nursery. DC doing really well with his home learning, but chuck a seriously unwell parent into the mix and having to sort out a home, clearing out hers etc and we're done for.
Gin. Lots of gin.

Rainbowshine Sat 27-Jun-20 13:16:26

I’m totally burned out. I’m continuously doing things to help others (my job is a support role so helping employees that are struggling). I don’t get any time to myself. I have no idea how to deal with the summer holiday and I suspect it will be hell trying to manage my workload and entertain children.

Scottishgirl85 Sat 27-Jun-20 14:01:17

Burned out. I have a very responsible and stressful role and both my other team members have been off with COVID since March. We have a toddler and YR child. It is constant (computer on 7am, off midnight) and I think working parents have been massively overlooked.

Pertella Sat 27-Jun-20 14:04:52

On the days I'm not working I also have a toddler ro look after, so home schooling is at a minimum at the moment. It's mostly worksheets, spellings and online stuff DS can do independently.

ohthegoats Sat 27-Jun-20 14:12:38

Well, I'm a teacher and I'm burnt out too (despite what many seem to think, at my school many of us have been working insane hours on lesson videos etc). Had a child at home until 1st June, so working around my partner's job too, meant I was recording stuff between 11pm and 1 or 2am when my fricking neighbours stopped screaming and swearing in their swimming pool.

Since then it's chilled a bit. But we did no homeschooling after the easter holidays at all. Reading, lots of apps on laptops and tablets.

PaperMonster Sat 27-Jun-20 16:57:02

I’m a tutor with a year 4 at home. Despite working part time, I am burnt out. Totally exhausted by it. It’s ridiculously intense. And I’m in pain from using a laptop.

HeadSpin5 Sat 27-Jun-20 20:22:33

Was burning out with a Y3. Full timetable from school (not complaining about that) and even with a flexible employer, was really struggling. Agree with a PP that allowing work around school only helps so far as it means never stopping from literally dawn til dusk. Hit rock bottom and have been allowed to reduce work BG a few day’s a week temporarily. V grateful and Feel much better

PMTRex Sat 27-Jun-20 20:37:57

I'm completely burned out too.

DP and I both working from home, work wouldn't furlough me as there's plenty of work to do and DH became self employed/ contractor 6 months ago so isn't entitled to and government support plus needs to work to build up his contacts and reputation.

DS12 tends to get on with his online learning then plays on his Xbox. DS8 is really struggling with no school, clubs, homeschool etc and can't entertain himself for more than 5 mins, he's even bored of screens!

No leave available at work over summer apart from the 10 day block I have already booked. Planning on doing a parental leave request for the whole of September to support the kids back into school (hopefully) and try to de- stress.

Lemons1571 Sat 27-Jun-20 20:38:53

@commentatorz what do you mean by “abandoned the national curriculum”? No children currently at school should be being taught anything new, stuff that hadn’t been covered before 23rd March. It would massively disadvantage the kids who are not allowed near their school until September.

nowaitaminute Sat 27-Jun-20 20:45:22

Well, I'm on my summer holidays now (teacher) and as a parent doing homeschooling I have signed off too!! And it feels soooo good!! 🤣

nicknamehelp Sat 27-Jun-20 21:00:20

Dont forget u can take holiday a good employer should be encouraging this although Im guiltyof making sure my team have all had timeoff and guess who hasnt. but it is hard Im jealous of dh who now gets to go to office while Im juggling live online lessons, my work and a bored yr 11 playing Xbox or wanting to talk to me while I work!

audweb Sat 27-Jun-20 21:03:12

Summer holidays here now so at least I don’t have to feel guilty for not doing anything. Seriously, made a decision a wee while ago that our mental health was a priority, and that included not battling over an hour of school work a day for what? Single parent here with barely any dad support so chose sanity and putting a roof over our heads over some home schooling. She’ll be fine. She’s kept up reading, and is a bright kid.

wherestheotherone Sat 27-Jun-20 21:07:14

Same as everyone else trying to do this we are burnt out and really exhausted. Our mental health is suffering and I know I'm depressed, I think it's my way of shutting down. If I'm numb to everything then I have more chance of getting through. It's also utter exhaustion. I've almost given up on my 12 year old. I know this is bad but I can only do so much and I'm fed up of having to motivate the whole family.

I can't wait for time on my own, sleep, peace, my meals made for me and more sleep. Realistically this will be we happen but I can dream.

wherestheotherone Sat 27-Jun-20 21:24:29

My y2 child is ASD, in mainstream school but challenging and lockdown has had a huge impact with behaviour. She goes to school 10-2 two days a week at the moment as this is all our school are offering. Even with us being keyworkers, we're on our own with this.

DH and I are both working full time, 40 hour weeks. One from home, keyworker high pressure jobs and work load is increasing. Overtime is being offered more as an expectation than an option. I get up at 5.30am to start work and collapse somewhere round 10-11. Sick of running the canteen, keeping house, teaching both kids and managing work. I'm doing none of it well.

DH is at his place of work 2 days a week so for those days I'm on my own 7-7pm. I will have to take special leave over the summer holidays as I simply can't keep going like this.

I agree we've been totally forgotten about! Summer holiday clubs aren't opening because they say they didn't have time to arrange how.

nicknamehelp Sat 27-Jun-20 21:39:14

Dont forget u can take holiday a good employer should be encouraging this although Im guiltyof making sure my team have all had timeoff and guess who hasnt. but it is hard Im jealous of dh who now gets to go to office while Im juggling live online lessons, my work and a bored yr 11 playing Xbox or wanting to talk to me while I work! l

user1487194234 Sun 28-Jun-20 11:00:54

Getting up at 5 and going to bed at midnight
And working most of Sunday

Muddlewitch Sun 28-Jun-20 11:19:44

Exhausted here too. Younger DD especially who struggles with school at the best of times needs me standing over her to get work done properly and I just can't as WFH more than full time in an intense role. Did take a few days off a few weeks ago but then worked even more ridiculous hours after to catch up.
Keep telling myself I can only do what I can do and keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table comes first but feel rubbish, doing so much and all of it badly.

lljkk Sun 28-Jun-20 11:44:33

I guess I'm the thread slacker bc we leave 12yo DS to it (he does whatever lands in his email inbox, sometimes Zoom classes from there). He does cooking, gardening, walks & cycle rides, too.

My nightmare scenario is "What if" Lockdown had happened when I had 4 under 9.

I'm worried about my next youngest DC (GCSE yr). He has only 'optional' work from colleges that he may not go to, & we don't know what college will be like for him, what study-from-home set up will he need & will he be motivated to make it succeed?

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