To tell my boss

[Ginandbitterlemonplease]

Hi!
I’m not sure if this thread has been done. And I’m sorry for seeming like an ungrateful witch coz I know I still have my job-but I don’t know for how much longer.

I’m currently working from home and I’m a single parent to a 4 year old. I just can’t seem to do both, my 4 year old is so sad and is constantly wanting cuddle/snacks/play time and then I have to be on the phone constantly for work.

My boss isn’t really sympathetic and I have already had an email threatening my job (I’ve already had hours cut) because my standard of work is slipping.

Do you think I should just confess how much I am struggling? My mum has said from July she can come and watch him at my house but I know it would still be a fight for my attention if I was there. I’m thinking about asking if I could go in the office once my mums available but I’m in two minds.

I’m just so down and anxious and can’t seem to manage!

Thank you for any help you give xx

[APurpleSquirrel]

Does your child start school in September?

I'd stick it out till your mum can help; then closet yourself away in your room to do your work if possible. Then come September hopefully you're child will be at school which will give you several hours uninterrupted.

What are your concerns about going into the office?

[Ginandbitterlemonplease]

He would find me if I locked myself away honestly he would haha.

I don’t think my job can wait till September he wants to see a big improvement in the next few weeks. That’s why I was thinking of asking if I could go back into the office, there would only be me but it’s whether or not he would let me. I just wish things were back to normal x

[NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite]

I'd ask about going into the office and see what your boss says. We have been told to wfh if we can and, if we can't, then we should go to work. You can't work properly from home so, yes, go back to work.

[Uhoh2020]

You need to tell them you are struggling and have it documented. They have to show how they have helped you during this time whether it be flexible hours or later deadlines. Tell them what will help you to be more able to do your job properly and see what they come up with. They can't just performance manage you without trying to help you first but you also need to tell them the struggles you are having.
Can your DM start looking after him now instead of in a few weeks? Have you asked nursery if he can go back a few days? Explain your situation they may have spaces available to you.

[IdratherbeinCornwall]

Can't your 4yo go to nursery?

[HermioneWeasley]

Agree, 4yr old stays home with your mum or goes to nursery and you go into the office

[ChipotleBlessing]

Your 4 year old can go to nursery.

[TheCountessofFitzdotterel]

Asking to go into the office at least sends a signal to your boss that you are serious about WANTING to work hard, and that it’s the situation rather than your attitude that’s the problem.

[SoloMummy]

The office brings additional risks into your home for your son and mum.
I'd be working somewhere making it clear he cannot come in during work times, with perhaps you having set breaks for say a morning and afternoon cuppa with them both and lunch. And quite literally have a lock on the door.
If your mum is there she can obviously take him for walks and play in the garden etc.
Do you have a summer room - or we don't but can only dream! My lo is 5 and has had to accept that there are expectations etc regarding my work, it's been a bitter but necessary pill.

[Tonz]

Agree with pp if you ask to work in the office it shows its the situation at home that's affecting your work not that you don't care enough to try. If that's what suits you best then just ask your boss

[Ginandbitterlemonplease]

Thank you for all of tour advice, I am going to speak to him tomorrow.

Regarding nursery, I live in a small village and the one he usually goes too only has spaces for key workers- half of the staff are off shielding.

Xx