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OH wants to add a bubble, I’m still high risk and scared

(48 Posts)
user1476476979 Wed 17-Jun-20 23:17:45

I know risk is lowering now but I’ve really been anxious during this period. Realising I have multiple underlying conditions and with a little one, I’ve been pretty scared.

Throughout this, as I’m not shielding and no letter, my husband has been patronising and not supportive but now he wants to go visit his parents and stay and I’m just not comfortable with it. He hasn’t really left me with any option, saying he needs to go see his family.

I’ve given him the option to go alone but he also wants to take little one who won’t stay without me.

Any reassurances on risk level? I feel really shitty knowing OH doesn’t care about my risk and trivialises a worldwide pandemic.

Or am I over worrying and should just go along with it?

Any opinions would be grateful.

OP’s posts: |
Letseatgrandma Wed 17-Jun-20 23:19:29

Any reassurances on risk level?

I don’t think anyone in the world can answer that without knowing what underlying health issues you have!

RhubarbJelly Wed 17-Jun-20 23:20:27

If his family is not a single person, or a single person with a child then it is not allowed.

Zisforstripyoss Wed 17-Jun-20 23:21:33

I thought only single people could form bubbles? So your ILs are two people? It wouldn't be allowed anyway.

Plus with multiple conditions, I wouldn't risk it.

ChessIsASport Wed 17-Jun-20 23:21:56

Can we do this now? I thought it was just for people living alone. Was this announced today? I would love to see my parents.

GabriellaMontez Wed 17-Jun-20 23:24:04

No letter? And your username suggests you're under 40? What are you worried about?

user1476476979 Wed 17-Jun-20 23:24:41

I don’t have major health issues but I take immunosuppressants and have mild asthma. I have also been suffering from blood pressure that I’ve been trying to get under control through diet before meds.

OP’s posts: |
pandafunfactory Wed 17-Jun-20 23:25:30

You need to get hold of your anxiety. You clearly don't have a serious health condition and your husband has been isolated for months. He's not being unreasonable to see his family.

user1476476979 Wed 17-Jun-20 23:35:03

Not yet that’s why I am anxious about it

OP’s posts: |
Shinygreenelephant Wed 17-Jun-20 23:36:51

It’s against the rules for a start and he sounds very unsupportive. Anxiety is horrible. Tell him to go on his own and stay there

onlinelinda Wed 17-Jun-20 23:48:28

Immunosuppressed and high BP IS a risk.. Let him go, or go too, but stay 3 metres distant. You don't have to argue about this. I thought I had to argue with my own DH to win a concession around my shielding situation, which I won't bore you with. Then I realised I didn't at all-I just needed to tell him what I was doing, regardless of what his choices were. End of.

It's nice to try to negotiate, but you can not be controlled by someone else's decision if you aren't comfortable.

Jingstohang Thu 18-Jun-20 00:07:03


You need to get hold of your anxiety. You clearly don't have a serious health condition and your husband has been isolated for months. He's not being unreasonable to see his family.

You're a delight.

BumbleBeee69 Thu 18-Jun-20 00:31:17

* I’m not shielding and no letter*

Why no Letter ?

Nobodyputsdaisyinthecorner Thu 18-Jun-20 02:15:21

There are many people who know their condition well enough to know they’re at risk but didn’t get a letter. The list was arbitrary, people are rich of blood clots aren’t on it (even though the virus is now showing concerns there), people tracing a smidgen too little of immunosuppressant drugs aren’t on it and so on.

Give op a break. She knows her health best. At this time many conditions have been overlooked.

And op if you don’t feel comfortable forming a bubble don’t. Your husband seriously needs to be more understanding.

Nobodyputsdaisyinthecorner Thu 18-Jun-20 02:16:02 risk of blood clots...

Nobodyputsdaisyinthecorner Thu 18-Jun-20 02:16:34

Taking not tracing

Time for bed I think!!’n

ragged Thu 18-Jun-20 05:53:57

I thought immunosuppressed made you lower risk for the worst outcomes. Won't get cytokine storm. And mild asthma not a risk factor, either.

ukgift2016 Thu 18-Jun-20 05:58:12

I think YOU are overreacting. May be worth seeing a doctor if you are allowing this anxiety to take over your life.

I would be annoyed too if I was your husband.

mocktail Thu 18-Jun-20 06:02:41

It's not allowed at the moment so I wouldn't go on that basis. How old are your in-laws? They may well be at higher risk than you based on age.

DamitJanet Thu 18-Jun-20 06:45:13

Well it’s not within the guidelines at the moment so I think you’re perfectly reasonable to say you’re uncomfortable with it at the moment. It could be that you’re worrying more than necessary, so maybe start to work on that so that it’s less of an issue once restrictions loosen a bit more.

Ohchristmastreeohchristmastree Thu 18-Jun-20 06:54:11

It’s not just against rules to go to another persons home at the minute. It is unlawful.

Your husband might want to go and lots of posters on here seem to think he should, but it is against the law.

Scottishgirl85 Thu 18-Jun-20 06:57:43

This isn't allowed yet, so don't go. Nobody should be breaking rules without exceptional circumstances, especially vulnerable people.

Racoonworld Thu 18-Jun-20 06:58:42

It’s currently illegal to stay in someone else house (unless you form a single person bubble which this isn’t) so no you shouldn’t go. Hopefully in a few weeks the risk will be less and rules relaxed to allow it

tootyfruitypickle Thu 18-Jun-20 06:59:42

You’re right to be uncomfortable , it’s against the rules and it’s not on, he shouldn’t be making you go when it’s clearly againsT guidelines . It won’t be long until it’s permitted and that will be when the risk is lower .

getoffmysocks Thu 18-Jun-20 07:00:21

As others have said it's not allowed anyway, only a single adult can form a bubble with another household. Is he suggesting following the advice of meeting outside at 2 metres? If he is then the risk is minimal and I would support that and go with him. People have been allowed to meet with others in this way for weeks so can understand why he too would want to see his parents. If he's talking about seeing them and acting as normal then yes with underlying health conditions I would be wary and push for him to see them more safely.
In case he does go though op if your ILs have been isolating the risk should be minimal.

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