Mum cuddling 10 month old??

[DreamingofItaly]

I'm really unsure as to what to do so I'm looking for opinions/advice please.

My mum has had coronavirus (confirmed by ambulance crew 25 March). She wasn't hospitalised but it was touch and go that weekend as to whether she would be as her breathing was terrible...it has still not fully recovered, normal chores are a challenge despite her being a generally fit and well, active type 1 diabetic 61 year old.

I haven't seen her since mid-March. DS is now 10 months old. I've decided to drive the 100 miles each way with DS this weekend to see her and my grandmother (DM cares for DGM) as well as see DF and DSM, they live a couple of miles apart. DF has been shielding due to COPD and while he and DSM really want to see us I know there won't be pressure to cuddle DS.

DM really wants to cuddle him though and DGM really wants to give me a cuddle (we're very close, she's 85, "survived the blitz and just wants to cuddle the people she loves"). I've set an expectation that we'll be 2m away but can have a cuppa/bit of food in the garden.

I'm so torn as to what to do. DH and I have been so careful not seeing people, shopping is delivered etc. but I miss them and they miss us.

WWYD? Should I let DM cuddle DS?

[Whattodowhattodooo]

Yes.

[Whattodowhattodooo]

But that's just me and I'm sure plenty would disagree!

[Alexandernevermind]

Have they and you been isolating? If so then yes, let them have a cuddle.

[hippobump]

I would. I waited months to see my parents but when we finally went there was no way that my DD wasn't going to launch straight in for cuddles.

[Cheesecakejar]

Honestly of you're not going to let her have a cuddle I wouldn't bother travelling all that way to see her, that probably sounds harsh but it's like dangling a carrot. I do understand why you are questioning it though. Enjoy your time together whatever you decide to do 😊

[DreamingofItaly]

That's why I'm stuck...a part of me wants her to but there's a big part of me that doesn't. That coupled with the fact the last 3 months DS has known no one but DH and I...he probably won't want to go to her anyway!

[hellosun20]

I definitely would. Only you can assess the risk and decide what you think is safest.

[DreamingofItaly]

@cheesecakejar you're spot on! I feel like it's utterly unfair if I'm not going to let her. DSis has been vehement about DM being near DNiece (8), not allowing it...they live around the corner and so talk on the drive almost days. How can I change the rules for the baby?

[TroubleNo1]

We've had a very similar situation. We've been very strict with our family in order to protect my parents when we felt it was reasonable to see them.
The moment we saw them my youngest (18 months) just went straight in for the cuddles and from then on we've been treating ourselves as one household. We couldn't stop contact.
My DH and 2 x DD have been diligent and so have my parents. We are in a bubble now - that's not strictly guidelines but both households are not seeing anyone else and neither have been to any shops since lockdown.
You have to be sensible and apply common sense.
Have a lovely time with your family and keep applying strict other measures.

[DreamingofItaly]

Thanks @TroubleNo1. DS crawls and is almost walking but ultimately doesn't know DM and is in that clingy phase so he's not going to head to her.

I think you're right. We should enjoy our time there, be careful as much as we can (DH not coming as he's flat out at work and I'm on mat leave) and potentially risk assess as we go.

This is just so hard...if I went back to work, DS could start at the childminder tomorrow, be cuddled, carried, nappy changed etc by effectively a stranger, but legally isn't supposed to cuddle DM. Arghhhh

[Whatelsecouldibecalled]

Yes I would (and have) let my mum cuddle my child

[YouSetTheTone]

Are you worried that your DM is still contagious from having Covid in March? That she might give it to your DS?

Surely if you and your husband have virtually been shielding for weeks there’s very little risk you currently have it and would give it to her?

I have let my parents cuddle my children and I would in your situation. But obviously that’s my personal risk evaluation.

Whatever you decide I hope you have a wonderful time seeing them!

[rebecca102]

I let my parents cuddle my daughter, i just couldn't not. My daughter would have been confused otherwise and honestly she is always all over them. The whole social distancing wouldn't have worked anyway.

[Charlottejade89]

I've let my daughter (22 months) cuddle both sets of grandparents, it's just not fair not to let her. little o es have been so hard done by in this I think, no parks, indoor play, zoos and farms still closed (were in wales) cant even go for a walk now because the weathers crap so theres no way im not gona let her hug her grandparents