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Is anyone breaking the rules by letting their parents look after their kids?

(44 Posts)
Rogben13 Wed 17-Jun-20 21:22:30

I have to return to work next week after being on furlough since April. I have a 5 year old who is returning to school 2 days a week, however my 2 year olds nursery has reached the full capacity of kids allowed back so now I’m stuck! My in laws have offered to have my 2 year old 1-2 days (they are In their early 60s, perfectly healthy and have been sticking to the rules) but I’m very wary, obviously it’s breaking the rules but I feel like I don’t have a choice. I can’t afford to take unpaid leave! Is anyone else having to do the same?

OP’s posts: |
GrumpyHungrySleepyMommy Wed 17-Jun-20 21:32:52

Hi. I may get some comments here but my MIL is looking after my 4 year old while i work. She is very fit (by far fitter than me) and in her 70's. Me, DH and DS did strict lockdown for 10 weeks as did my MIL, DH was furloughed and i worked from home. Last week we both got asked to return to work. Initially i said i couldn't go back due to child care and my MIL hit the roof. She was insistent that she had him, explaining that she had gone 10 weeks without seeing him in person and that she could be hit by a bus before catching CV. Reluctantly i agreed and i have to be honest it has done my DS the world of good. He seems happy again as he was becoming a nightmare being stuck in our 4 walls. He is now loving a different 4 walls but every night when i fetch him both DS and his nanny have a big cheeky grin on their faces. HTH x

starrynight19 Wed 17-Jun-20 21:36:43

Funny thought if your parents were teachers / childcare workers and of working age they could look after 15 children.

Deelish75 Wed 17-Jun-20 21:37:38

I'm a sahm so I don't need childcare but I did bump into my neighbours on Monday afternoon taking their grandchildren to the park. The parents weren't with them. I didn't ask where they were but I know before lockdown the grandparents did look after the children a couple of days a week, so I'm presuming they may have gone back to that arrangement. I don't know the age of the grandparents but I would say late 60s.

countchocula Wed 17-Jun-20 21:38:13


thewinkingprawn Wed 17-Jun-20 21:38:45


countchocula Wed 17-Jun-20 21:38:51

Hit post too soon!

I made a similar thread a couple of weeks ago which had 40+ responses from people saying they were as like you (and me) there was no alternative

Ilikewinter Wed 17-Jun-20 21:41:12

If your in laws have offered and are really happy to look after him/her then yes I would let them.

NeilTheBaby Wed 17-Jun-20 21:41:45

My mum has been coming to look after my daughter 1/2 days a week since mid May while I go to work.

arianwe Wed 17-Jun-20 21:42:52

I would accept their help.

Parker231 Wed 17-Jun-20 21:43:49

I expect this will be the norm soon for families with grandparents local, schools not open and people having to go back to work.

anditgoeson Wed 17-Jun-20 21:45:55


Blue1316 Wed 17-Jun-20 21:46:58

Yes pil are looking after our DC aged 4&6 3 days a week whilst me and DH work from home. I was really struggling feeling that I was neglecting them as we are both so busy and it seemed silly that mil lives 10 mins away, was missing them and usually had them anyway. It felt a bit odd at first but I feel so much better knowing they are going out for walks, doing activities, school work etc rather than sitting around watching iPads at home all day

SecondaryBurnzzz Wed 17-Jun-20 21:47:33

Just do it OP. Trust your own judgement and that of your parents. What else are you meant to do?

MKmummy123 Wed 17-Jun-20 21:47:45

Yep - both key workers here. Older kids back at school but little one’s childminder has given up minding so can’t go back. She is with my mum. We deemed that safer than finding a new setting for her and mum was happy to do it. Under 70 and no health concerns.

fabulous40s Wed 17-Jun-20 21:55:53


Hoohaahoo Wed 17-Jun-20 21:57:22

None of our parents will offer but if they did I would snap their hand off! I don’t blame you for taking them up on it.

Angeldust747 Wed 17-Jun-20 21:59:03

Yep x

Uhoh2020 Wed 17-Jun-20 22:02:09

Do it! Other than 1 of you gives your job up whats the alternative?

Scruffbob Wed 17-Jun-20 22:03:23


Rogben13 Wed 17-Jun-20 22:07:15

Gosh guys this is seriously what I needed to hear/see. I’ve been in tears worrying about what we’re going to do. At the end of the day even if my nursery was open I know he’d be safer with his grandparents.
So relieved I’m not the only one in this situation!! Thank you everyone

OP’s posts: |
Stuckforthefourthtime Wed 17-Jun-20 22:15:42

Lots of people are around here. My parents are vulnerable so couldn't, but we've had our nanny back since May (specifically allowed in guidelines), and could not have kept both jobs without help with childcare for our 4dcs, so would never judge anyone who was using grandparents or family care.

gerbilgirl Wed 17-Jun-20 22:29:24

We are using my mum as childcare for half an hour one morning a week starting this week.

Our children alternate therapy sessions which we are restarting face to face 2m apart on the beach as the office is still closed.

Although they have school places because of staggered start times we cannot stop off one and get to the session on time. I tentatively asked my mum if she could help and she jumped at the chance!

Our childrens mental health is so important and video sessions aren't cutting it any more so this is our only way forward at present.

Minniem2020 Wed 17-Jun-20 22:34:09

Furloughed at the moment but expecting to be told we're heading back any day & have already arranged with my mum to have ds 1 day a week for me. You're right op, it's so stressful thinking about what to do for the best, we can't all just leave our jobs so you have to do what you need to to get by

milkysmum Wed 17-Jun-20 22:36:10

Yes. I'm a nurse. Kids are in Keyworker provision but strangely enough nurses don't work 9-3 and the government have stopped after school clubs so what are we meant to do? I've been using my sister and now having to enlist my parents one day a week as well. It's that or lose my job, my home etc. It's that serious....

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