Keeping things lowkey

[SMJYellow]

When this virus got serious outside of China and cases started rising in Europe, myself and my partner and also my family, we were all too happy to keep life low key. Me and my partner are cancelling our summer holidays abroad and we are both happy with that decision. My partners birthday was at the end of March and we didn't feel the need to go out and celebrate his birthday or do anything for the birthday. My birthday is in the autumn and the same will happen again. I am happy to let the day pass.

Basically, the highlight of our summers or maybe even the year will be a walk along the local prom with a takeaway bag of fish and chips.

I don't feel hard done by with the virus changing the way I live. I am also happy and comfortable with keeping life low key. My partner and also my family are the same.

Why is it, I see other people who feel hard done by and who wishes to run out into the face of this virus and disease. I know a couple who's continuing on with their holiday plans abroad. Not only that there are some birthdays coming up for them this year. No big significant ages or birthdays. Other years 1 party was never enough for them. They would plan dinner parties, party/holiday abroad, followed by a real party in a hotel function room or party venue too. Basically 1 party was never enough for them. The couple is now itching to go back to the way life was and no doubt they will add on multiple parties this summer too, along with their holiday abroad. I feel kinda upset at this. They have a beautiful child who would be vulnerable to this virus, and I feel they don't have her best interests at heart and protect her and the family from the virus. Keeping things low key for them will be like a foreign language for them.

[Barbie222]

I think you'll get a lot of people disagreeing with you here. But I agree, there's lots of ways lockdown could make people a bit more humble and appreciative of what we have.

[Cusano34]

Me and my husband all along that we’d be perfectly happy to live this way (walks, the odd fish and chips etc) if we could do it all with our families. The only people I really truly miss are my parents and the in-laws. Love our friends dearly but the main thing for me is missing seeing family without worrying about passing anything on

[Waxonwaxoff0]

Because some people don't enjoy a low key life. I enjoy parties, holidays abroad, going out, being around lots of people. I don't like staying in all the time, walking around the same park day after day.

Neither DS nor I are vulnerable, I do not believe we are at particular risk from the virus and I'm happy to carry on as normal when we are allowed to. It's about individual risk assessment now.

[ComtesseDeSpair]

Everybody’s different. You do you; I’ll do me. I don’t have any problem with people who plan to stay indoors for most of the rest of the year and don’t think they have any business having a problem with me planning to get back to parties, nightclubs, big gatherings and foreign travel as soon as we’re able. We can all risk assess our own lifestyles and as I’m very low risk for Covid complications or death I’ve made my assessment accordingly.

[SMJYellow]

I suppose I would be considered an introvert. I know other people are different. My issue is that the couple I know have a vulnerable child. The child had a chest infection as a baby and spent time in ICU and years on home oxygen.

My issue is that there's no balance to their outgoing life's what so ever. Instead of feeling that a holiday abroad is sufficient, they want everything else too. Several different parties each for their birthdays. Instead of aiming for something like one family dinner party for the whole family, they want separate parties coupled with venue parties. The whole works.

I don't understand that and I think it's showing an incredible type of greed and selfishness especially now during a global pandemic with a new infectious disease.

I was so happy to unwind life and appreciate the small things in life. I know others like this too.

[ComtesseDeSpair]

Then as I said - you do you. You don’t have to understand it, and I doubt your friends care whether you do or not. What other people get up to is no concern of yours and thinking people are “greedy” or “selfish” because, when restrictions are lifted and everything is allowed, they want a little more out of their lives than looking at their own four walls and having a walk on the beach is bizarre. Your friends will have far better medical insight into what risks are posed to their child than you do.

Honestly, it sounds like you have a little bit of denied FOMO. I am also an introvert - that doesn’t mean I think other people need to do things my preferred way.

[ComtesseDeSpair]

Imagine your friends starting a thread about how they didn’t feel you have your DC’s best interests or health at heart because despite you all being low risk you’re projecting your own overblown anxiety onto them, damaging their resilience in doing so, and stunting their social developments and mental health by intending to continue to isolate them and deny them anything but low-key family walks.

You’d think they had no business judging your choices. You’d think they’d overstepped.

Show them the same courtesy.

[Spinakker]

You are being quite judgmental though. I'm an introvert too but don't begrudge people who are outgoing and who love parties. That's obviously what makes them happy. We need all kinds of people in this world. I don't really know if having a chest infection and requiring oxygen previously as a young child means that child is especially vulnerable to covid. There's been very few covid deaths among children and maybe the child is actually fine now. You really don't know and it's not really your business.

[Waxonwaxoff0]

We are all different. I find the lifestyle you describe boring and monotonous. Just because people enjoy going to lots of parties doesn't mean they don't appreciate the small things in life. It's not really any of your business how other people live their lives, you're not superior just because you're happy with walks and fish and chips.

[Waxonwaxoff0]

I usually do a few different events for my birthday as I have a few different friendship groups. I'll have a family party, a spa day and meal with one friendship group, a night out with another friendship group. That's what makes me happy. Why is it greedy and selfish, it's my money I'm spending and I'm contributing to the economy 🤷‍♀️

[IdratherbeinCornwall]

Because people are different to you.

Why can't people understand that?

[NellyLongarms]

You don't need to understand it. It is absolutely nothing to do with you. What is it about this that has made everyone feel they can stick their noses into everyone else's lives.

[Orangeblossom78]

No, I don't think the people who are finding the lockdown and resulting mess difficult are those who fancy holidays etc

It's more people who have lost businesses and possibly their homes, or are vulnerable. People loving with abuse or poverty. Just shows a bit of lack of awareness of how the other people live perhaps if this is what you think

[ssd]

I'm the same as you op. Except I don't have my parents alive or any close family around apart from dh and the dcs. I've got friends but that's always been low key, a walk and a bit of lunch and I'm happy.

But I can't see others are different. I guess it would be funny if we were all the same.

[ssd]

I meant I can see others are different.

[ssd]

And whilst I can understand your concern for the other families child, it's really none of your business..

[OutComeTheWolves]

You genuinely can't understand that different people enjoy doing different things? I find that quite odd to be honest.

[unicornsarereal72]

Because I have been at home for over 12 weeks with 2 children on my own. I love my children of course I do. But I crave adult company. To meet family and friends to socialise is human nature. To be by the sea. To visit places and enjoy the world around us.

Don't get me wrong. I'm embracing this situation. As there isn't an alternative. But my mental well none is in pieces now. As is my children's because they are missing the contact of real live people.

[BogRollBOGOF]

I'd say my wants/ needs are pretty low key;
Children having an age appropriate education and social life.
DH going to the office.
Back to volunteering at school, youth groups and parkrun.
Running race every few months.
Camping holiday in the UK.
Being able to make social arrangements without people interpreting it as a fatwa.
Seeing my family.

DS took his 7th birthday well (early lockdown), some presents (purchased in March) cake, balloons, film. He took it well when I said that it looked like he can't have a party for a while... that was 3 months ago when lockdown looked like it was brewing, but hey, he was so excited to go to the supermarket a few weeks ago because it was the most exciting place he'd been since he was 6.

If the highlight of everyone's social life was some chips, we wouldn't have an economy to fund an NHS, so it's a good job some people are more high maintainence really.

[110APiccadilly]

I'd like to hug my parents, go to the gym, take my gram out for a meal, do a real exercise class, have DH stay with me in hospital after our baby arrives, go to the tip, go to a real shop to buy baby things.
I'd like my friends' kids to be able to go to school and play with each other. I'd like my brother not to be furloughed and getting more depressed each time I speak to him. I'd like my friend who has moral objections to living together before marriage not to have to put their marriage off yet again.

Explain to me again how I'm being high maintenance, greedy and selfish please.

[AnyFucker]

Get stuffed

[Orangeblossom78]

This is actually a bit of a stealth boast really isn't it

[Orangeblossom78]

or virtue signalling