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Today I broke the rules

(60 Posts)
Passthebubbly Mon 15-Jun-20 00:47:45

First time since 21st March. Shielding mum who is very poorly. I didn’t realise how bad it had got due to shielding.
Long story short she has been in hospital on and off last few weeks due to and pain in leg. She is alone and is an end stage renal patient, had stroke and heart attack in past 2 years. Tomorrow the are amputating her leg. She is devastated and so confused. Her chances of surviving are not great.
I was allowed finally to see her for a short time in a private room. I cuddled her several times as she cried. I looked at her black foot knowing what she is about to go through alone and cuddled the hell out of her. She has had Covid tests and is clear and I have been following all guidance. Even the nurse said to me on the quiet when you go in the room let her see you, cuddle her she needs it. I’m so scared and can’t rest now thinking what is going to happen to her in the morning and also worrying I done the wrong thing but I know for her she needed that hug. I bloody hate this virus.

OP’s posts: |
movinggoalposts Mon 15-Jun-20 00:53:27

Poor you and poor your mom. I have been very careful but I think you have done the right thing. Sending unmumsnetty hugs.

Sunnytimesahead Mon 15-Jun-20 00:54:25

I’m so sorry to hear this OP. I do hope your Mum’s operation is successful tomorrow. She has been through a huge amount in the past 2 years.
In your situation I would have done exactly the same thing. Your Mum needed your support and you needed to be with her too. This virus has caused so much loneliness and separation.
I hope you have supportive people in your life you can talk to. Sending my best wishes to you both flowers

ErrolTheDragon Mon 15-Jun-20 00:57:07

thanks of course she needed that cuddle.
It's a horrible situation for both of you. Try to get some sleep now, you've done all you can for today and you will need your strength for tomorrow.

Passthebubbly Mon 15-Jun-20 00:58:36

Thank you ladies I’m lying here in tears I just needed to hear I had done the right thing. She has been on dialysis for 14 years and the last 2 years all has went wrong so I know we are on borrowed time. I just don’t want this to be her ending.
I feel so bad that I took my mask off let her see my face, kissed and cuddled her but equally if she doesn’t make it through I won’t have a single regret. But in back of my mind I know she doesn’t have Covid but what if i do and don’t know it. I’m so scared for the future either way I’m terrified.

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Passthebubbly Mon 15-Jun-20 01:00:13

She had her stroke the same month we lost my father so yes it has been a awful few years

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ErrolTheDragon Mon 15-Jun-20 01:03:47

If you've been following all the guidance, at this point it's extremely unlikely you have covid.

Passthebubbly Mon 15-Jun-20 01:10:23

I know that logically my mind is just in overdrive will be I guess until I know she makes it through.

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Handmaid2019 Mon 15-Jun-20 01:11:19

You did exactly the right thing. I'm so sorry about your mum, she has a lovely daughter. thanks

nettie434 Mon 15-Jun-20 01:12:45

As you have been shielding your mum, it is very unlikely you have been exposed to the virus. The guidance also refers to maintaining dignity and quality of life. In your mum's situation, I don't think you broke the rules. Hope that the op goes well and that you both see some improvement in your mum's level of comfort flowers

Passthebubbly Mon 15-Jun-20 01:14:23

Thank you x

OP’s posts: |
Myal Mon 15-Jun-20 01:18:03

My mum has had 2 renal transplants and is currently shielding, despite this I can only imagine what you and mum are going through.
I could sob for you but sending you a million positive vibes and praying for your darling mama.
Try and get some rest 💐

greenlynx Mon 15-Jun-20 01:26:53

You did absolutely the right thing. You were allowed to see your Mum exactly for this: to kiss her, to cuddle her and to give her your love and strengths. And that what the nurse told you to do.
And it’s true that it’s extremely unlikely now, especially if you followed the guidance.
Sending you hugs and all my thoughts. flowers

Lynda07 Mon 15-Jun-20 01:29:33

You really did the right thing. I am so sorry about your mum.
flowers

Passthebubbly Mon 15-Jun-20 01:34:16

I needed to hear this people thank you. @myal my mum has one transplant in the last 14 years since she got to stage 5 but it failed 3 years ago. She had it for 3 years but at the time was caring for my dad who had dementia and Parkinson’s. Life can be crap. Hope your mum is ok. I’m on the rum probably not helping just can’t see how else I will sleep tonight. Was hoping they would just take her foot but it’s above knee amputation and as she is so frail only 6.2 stone she won’t have strength to deal with a prosthetic leg which she doesn’t know yet. I’m sick to my stomach

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Recoverandthrive Mon 15-Jun-20 01:45:30

I'm so so sorry Op, you did the right thing 'breaking' the rules here. Thinking of you during this difficult night.

Myal Mon 15-Jun-20 01:47:19

You kissed her face and she got to see yours....small steps to happier days 🙏🏽
Savour that moment and get some sleep, you'll need energy for her recovery.
Keep us informed and PM for hand holding. We're all here xx

Passthebubbly Mon 15-Jun-20 01:50:26

You are all so kind. Was worried I would be flamed for putting her in danger but just needed to speak tonight. Thank you people i will update here tomorrow going to try sleep.
My stomach is in knots. Google is not my friend the outcome either way seems just awful

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OneNewName Mon 15-Jun-20 02:04:44

I'm sure you did the right thing. I hope her operation goes well. flowers

BlackeyedSusan Mon 15-Jun-20 02:48:53

you said she is on borrowed time anyway, so the extra additional risk is not worth worrying about in comparison to her current risk. her need for comfort and saying what could be your goodbyes are important. comfort and emotional support are needed for good recovery too.

Greyblueeyes Mon 15-Jun-20 03:27:08

I am so sorry. You did exactly the right thing. Best wishes to you and your mother thanks

Inkpaperstars Mon 15-Jun-20 04:06:10

I am so sorry. I hope you have managed a bit of sleep. Thinking of you and your mum. You definitely did the right thing.

MaryShelley1818 Mon 15-Jun-20 04:21:47

You did the right thing. I hope all.goes well tomorrow, thinking of you x

Recoverandthrive Mon 15-Jun-20 09:46:30

Thinking of you today. Hope you managed to get some sleep last night.

velourvoyageur Mon 15-Jun-20 20:30:50

I hope all went as well as possible OP flowers really feel for you and your mum.

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