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Has anyone else given up on school work?

(18 Posts)
historyrocks Thu 11-Jun-20 14:34:43

Has anyone else given up on home schooling? I have 2 DD's (10 & 13) and we're getting no where.

DD2 isn't too bad, but she's really struggling with having to learn within the home environment. DH tends to deal with her, but there's often tears (from DD2) and frustration (from DH).

DD1 is just getting nothing done at all. She's a hardworking kid, but I suspect she's dyslexic (her sister is, we're waiting for a test for her). She tries, but just can't seem to switch onto 'learning' time.

She can't answer questions without me sitting with her and explaining. She's struggling over basic things. Maybe writing 3 sentences in an hour. I'm at a loss over what to do.

I've emailed her guidance teacher a few times, who has said to just get done what she can and to not let it upset her. I've already narrowed it down to German/Maths/ Science/English, but she can't even manage that.

I've tried everything I can do to help her. I can't sit with her constantly. I'm WFH full-time and it is very busy. It's causing so much emotional distress/stress from both of us. DD1 is getting very frustrated and is turning off. She just can't focus.

I'm on the verge of giving up with it. The stress is rapidly affecting my mood (I've got bipolar disorder and I can feel a full-on crash coming). DD1 is at the point of hating school work (which I don't want to happen as then you've completely lost). I feel like an absolutely shit mother.

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StrawberryJam200 Thu 11-Jun-20 14:37:02

In your situation! (esp yr MH under threat) I'd definitely have a break then discuss with schools. Could either of them be allowed to go to school under the vulnerable category?

OhyeahNoway Thu 11-Jun-20 14:37:57

You are not a shit mother, you have recognised that you may be on the way to burn out yourself, then you will be suffering, can you all just take some time out for a bit flowers

CeeJay81 Thu 11-Jun-20 14:55:06

I can relate to this as I've got a dyslexic child myself and mine is similar. We both ended up on tears this morning and getting him to do even a small amount of written work can take hours. I work almost full time(key worker) and my husband has bipolar. My son is going into school one day a week. They are happy for this in our circumstances. I have a friend who has become quite unwell(not Covid related) and they are letting her kids go in too. Will the school take your child? even the odd day a week may help you out?

historyrocks Thu 11-Jun-20 14:55:11

Gah! DD1 just walked in on me crying. I didn't want her to see that. Thank you for the replies.

It's made much harder that she has at least 10 pieces of work to do at any one time. I can't keep track of everything. They're being done on different platforms, with different ways of working. One piece of German work was 52 pages long. In fairness to DD, I couldn't even get my head around that.

It all seems impossible. I keep having to stop my work to help, then I lose track of what I was doing. Before I know it, I've lost a day's work, DD's hardly any further forward, and w'ere both exhausted and frustrated.

I'm in Scotland so know that schools will be back August 11, but for only 1.5 days per week until 2021. The idea of this going on for months and months is killing me.

I could step away from it for a bit, but nothing's going to change and then she'll be even further behind than she is now.

OP’s posts: |
historyrocks Thu 11-Jun-20 14:59:24

From what I understand about schools (around here, at least) is that there's no teaching at all. They have to do whatever work has been set and to get on with it on their own. That's not going to help her.

I basically feel I have to choose between my childrens' education and earning a wage. I should add that DH is at home, but he's not well. He tends to sort out DD2, although that's much simpler.

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LauraAshleySofa Thu 11-Jun-20 15:50:02

My children are much younger so this may be a useless suggestion but could you ask her German teachers to recommend films books or publications in German that your DD can read or watch for leisure without pressure? So she's not having a break from the language but using it in a more realistic way.
Can her science teachers suggest documentaries about famous scientists and break through work. There are magazines like new scientist and how it works that may be fun to read.
Maths is maths I don't know how you fight on that one. I would use bribery. For English can you use podcasts or audio books to supplement anything that's sent home?

frozendaisy Thu 11-Jun-20 16:01:31

We do what we can with stressing anyone out. Many days that's nothing.

historyrocks Thu 11-Jun-20 16:02:31

I've got her a workbook for German as she can't even remember the basics--she did German in the first term of S1 and then French so she's forgotten what was taught back in August-December.

She does the work (or, at least, she tries to do the work). She just doesn't understand. Not sure if I said this above, but I think she's dyslexic (her younger sister has been diagnosed dyslexic). I think that's a big part of her not understanding what's being asked from her. But that just puts the pressure on even more and I can't sit with her all day explaining what to write.

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tryingtocatchthewind Thu 11-Jun-20 16:12:25

My kids are a lot younger but my husband and I feel exactly the same. We just can’t carry on like this. My work is half done and school work is half done. How do I decide between wages and education? It’s just shit isn’t it.
Our mood plummeted the other day when Boris u-turned on getting primary kids back. Even a couple of days a week would really lift the pressure off.

historyrocks Thu 11-Jun-20 17:05:56

@trying, I’d also be pissed off.

We’ve decided to have a long weekend and give schooling a miss tomorrow (apart from a bit of reading.). It’s not healthy to feel so stressed. I’ve been getting chest pain all afternoon.

I’ll be no good to anyone if I relapse into depression.

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Chilli18 Thu 11-Jun-20 17:13:32

Im the same close to giving up. I have a 10yr, 6yr and 2yr. Husband out at work all day im back to work p/time next week. Finding it impossible to do with 2yr running around. Both of mine need me to sit with them to do the work we've had tears everyday the last week their fed up with doing it and so am i. I feel like the worst mum ever but im just trying to juggle everything. It always feels like half a job done at everything at the min

Emmapeeler1 Thu 11-Jun-20 17:18:27

Yeah, I have totally given up. DD gets work sent from school but DS doesn't and he mainly just potters around doing his own thing while we both work. I refuse to feel guilty.

xxyzz Thu 11-Jun-20 21:35:39

Seriously, don't stress.

View this positively - this is an amazing, golden opportunity for your dd to stop seeing learning as something she can't do, that is 'done' to her, in a continuous hamster wheel that never stops.

It's some time off, like a really long holiday or a sabbatical, for your brilliant dd to try out her own interests and things she is GOOD at.

She won't be getting behind, because in reality almost no-one is keeping up with everything and lots are keeping up with none of it or almost none, so teachers will need to repeat this all anyway, because everyone will be at different levels.

I have a dc of the same age - he is LOVING lockdown. We've managed to persuade him to do a couple of hours of schoolwork a day, which he does reluctantly, but only subjects he enjoys. We are working so have very little time to help him. He does what he wants - and not in a bad way.

I have told the school this is what he is doing and that he will not be attending any live lessons or doing any subjects beyond a limited amount as we cannot double up as unpaid full-time teachers.

He is genuinely so happy and productive. He wakes up when he wants so is much less tired, does sport (exercise bike, kicks a football around, weights etc), does baking and cooking as he likes, does loads of coding (his passion).

He also chats to his friends online and plays Minecraft with them.

The point is, he does what he likes. So if your dd loves art, or football, or history or cooking or whatever it is, let her do it. Let her develop her skills doing what she genuinely enjoys.

And yes, sit with her for an hour a day or whatever time you can spare to work on a bit of schoolwork that she is happy to do with your help.

But let her be free!

udnertheradar Thu 11-Jun-20 21:39:30

I have a dyslexic 13 year old and it's exactly the same. A few sentences can take over an hour and he needs me to be sitting with him. It's so sad for him too as he is really struggling to work in the home environment. We are only getting one lesson max done a day. We spoke to the school and he is starting 2 x 1 hr lessons a week with the senco and 2 other kids. I feel like we should be doing much more but he is just totally reluctant

historyrocks Fri 12-Jun-20 14:38:51

Thanks for the advice. I’ve taken today off and think we’ll go back to the basics of just maths and English. Even if that’s all we manage, it will be better than the current situation.

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Subwaysalad Fri 12-Jun-20 14:43:57

historyrocks

Gah! DD1 just walked in on me crying. I didn't want her to see that. Thank you for the replies.

It's made much harder that she has at least 10 pieces of work to do at any one time. I can't keep track of everything. They're being done on different platforms, with different ways of working. One piece of German work was 52 pages long. In fairness to DD, I couldn't even get my head around that.

It all seems impossible. I keep having to stop my work to help, then I lose track of what I was doing. Before I know it, I've lost a day's work, DD's hardly any further forward, and w'ere both exhausted and frustrated.

I'm in Scotland so know that schools will be back August 11, but for only 1.5 days per week until 2021. The idea of this going on for months and months is killing me.

I could step away from it for a bit, but nothing's going to change and then she'll be even further behind than she is now.

Im Scotland too....... where have you seen its only 1.5 days per week until 2021 this is the first I've heard????

historyrocks Fri 12-Jun-20 16:35:20

It was in the local press and in an email from the school. I think councils/schools are able to decide how to approach it. Certainly everything I've read says that it will be blended learning for the first few months, but I guess the exact details will vary, depending on numbers of children/teachers

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