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Moving in with grandparents to help with childcare

(13 Posts)
UnicornAndSparkles Wed 10-Jun-20 11:54:23

This isn't allowed, right?

2 parents, one working FT one PT, both working from home. 2 kids under 4yo. Parents contemplating moving in with the grandparents so they can have unlimited, free childcare. Nursery is open, not sure why that isn't being considered as both used to go to nursery.

Not me (I'm just insanely jealous as me and DH are somehow juggling our WFH/childcare situation by getting up at the crack of dawn and juggling work/childcare all day until we crash out at midnight, only to start again 6 hours later, a situation many are in, I suspect). Its a close friend who has suggested I do the same and move in with my parents (I won't be, I think this is a clear breach of the rules, and puts the grandparents at greater risk, no?)

Might have been different if they were moving in at the start of lockdown for the duration, but that's not the case.

Thoughts?

OP’s posts: |
StinkySaurus Wed 10-Jun-20 11:56:24

I think if it’s the long term plan it sounds sensible.

If the plan is to just do it for a week, then no this is probably not okay.

But if it’s long term and they are merging the two households then I think it should be fine if they have been following the guidance thus far to reduce chance of bringing covid with them into the new household.

UnicornAndSparkles Wed 10-Jun-20 11:57:52

It's for 10 days. Not sure why that length of time, I havent asked.

OP’s posts: |
GreenGordon Wed 10-Jun-20 12:03:00

I think it sounds eminently sensible. We merged three households, mine and my two adult children and grandchildren at the start of the lockdown. It’s worked so well we are thinking of making it permanent and renting out their houses after the lockdown.

sunshineandshowers21 Wed 10-Jun-20 12:05:57

mind your own business? lockdown is all but over, i don’t see how you can have everyone back working in shops from next week and football matches back on - but you still can’t see your families inside their houses confused for the past couple of weeks my kids have been going to stay with my parents for a few days and then coming back home. i’m breaking the rules, but i’m beyond caring at this point.

Waxonwaxoff0 Wed 10-Jun-20 12:12:23

I'm planning on doing this at some point if needs be. My job is at risk due to the situation, my mum works full time so I might end up needing to find an evening job so she can look after DS then. Couldn't care less what is allowed or not, I care about being able to pay the bills. In other words, mind your business.

Laniakea Wed 10-Jun-20 12:53:31

Couldn't care less what is allowed or not, I care about being able to pay the bills

^yup my sister & BIL are moving in with my parents on Friday because they have both lost their jobs & can't afford it stay where they are. My eldest moved back to us two weeks ago for the same reason. Anyone who objects can go fuck themselves quite frankly!

Cherryghost Wed 10-Jun-20 13:13:58

Why are you bothered about someone trying to do their best in a bad situation?
It's their choice if their child goes to nursery or not.
In fact I'd say they are being sensible moving in for the duration of childcare. You might not know the full reasonings behind their decision and if it doesn't affect you why are you bothered!

Dancingalong Wed 10-Jun-20 13:21:00

I think as you’ve admitted yourself your concern stems more from jealousy. We all have to make difficult choices to make this work and to be honest I’d do to the same as them. My children will have to go to my parents in the summer holidays if there are no holiday clubs and I’m sure many people are in the same situation.

Tentativesteps133 Wed 10-Jun-20 13:33:14

We're planning on doing the same once DC2 arrives. Maternity leave with a toddler and newborn without being able to see friends (toddler can't socially distance and the weather won't continue to be as it has been so far), no playgroups, no playgrounds, no thank you. My parents are both retired and happy to continue getting supermarket deliveries and are desperate to see their grandchildren and it makes no sense for us to be sat in separate houses when we could be together. DH will WFH for the foreseeable.

You've admitted yourself your opinion stems from jealousy - it's really none of your business why they don't want to send their children back to nursery but an obvious and legitimate reason could be that they perceive the risk to be too high until an second wave is proven or disproven. I'm really sorry you're finding the situation hard (I agree it's shit, especially long-term) but I think you might be projecting a bit.

OddBoots Wed 10-Jun-20 13:37:32

I can't see how it could be banned given the Cummings rules.

UnicornAndSparkles Wed 10-Jun-20 13:43:51

You're all probably right.

I'm being bitter and projecting as I'm just so done with this whole situation and have been struggling with poor health, work and childcare over the past 12 weeks. I've been trying so hard to stick to these rules and it's taken its toll.

OP’s posts: |
INeedNewShoes Wed 10-Jun-20 13:44:40

It sounds as though this isn't your situation to judge, though especially with nursery available to them I can see why you'd question it.

DD and I combined households with my parents for lockdown (before lockdown actually happened but seemed inevitable). I'm sure lots of people thought I was swanning off to their place for free childcare but it was mostly so that we could keep each other company/supported. I have to say that the few hours a week (maybe six tops) childcare that my mum did was balanced out by the care that I was giving them so I didn't actually win any time. Even though we all get along well it was hard work for all of us and I'm relieved to be home.

I can see that for a limited 10-day timespan it might work well though. The only caveat for me would be that they would need to quarantine first to avoid taking the virus with them.

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