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MIL offered to look after DC

(15 Posts)
Hangingwithmygnomies Mon 08-Jun-20 19:49:14

We have 2 DS, the older one is on the autistic spectrum and youngest is nursery age. We are really struggling with DS1 behaviour since lockdown and it is really wearing us down. Constant backchat/verbal aggression and sometimes physical. He doesn't sleep until gone midnight, his prescribed melatonin is no longer working so he is not falling asleep until early hours and DS2 is a very early riser. I'm so, so tired, emotionally and physically. DH is back to work and I am still furloughed until further notice. MIL knows how difficult things can be and how much harder it's got with him during lockdown. She's offered to have them for a day this week to give us (me) some respite and maybe even sleep but I'm so torn on what to do, as it's against social distancing rules, although we've all been abiding them since the beginning. Is there allowances for SEND children with things like this? He has no ECHP so attending school is not an option. What would you do in my shoes?

OP’s posts: |
Campervan69 Mon 08-Jun-20 19:52:18

My youngest spent the morning with his grandma today helping her paint her shed and tidy out the garage. He's 8. I don't think there's any problem if you've been shielding and she's been shielding and following all the social distancing and hand washing procedures. I think it would be more to worry about if they were back at school or nursery but I would go for if I were you you're all adults.

Concerned7777 Mon 08-Jun-20 19:53:26

Make your own risk assessment not what strangers on the internet think or say, if I was in your position though I would send them to Grandmas for the day like a shot

BornOnThe4thJuly Mon 08-Jun-20 19:54:12

It would depend on her age and health for me, and how much your DH is having to mix with others at work.

bigchris Mon 08-Jun-20 19:54:45

As long as she's not shielding or in the high risk group

Fizzingsherbert Mon 08-Jun-20 19:56:16

Take her up on the offer OP, you need to look after your own mental health and it sounds like you could really do with a break!

Helenj1977 Mon 08-Jun-20 21:03:46

I would op. Enjoy your day and recharge your batteries.

Playdonut Mon 08-Jun-20 21:08:08

Its not actually illegal you know. You can break social distancing due to caring needs or arguments in the household. So you have 2 reasons to pick from! Enjoy your nap xxx

Cutangle Mon 08-Jun-20 21:09:04

Yes I would. My mum has just recovered covid and the first thing she did was ask to have the children. She’s missed then so much, she normally has them twice a week xxxx

Topseyt Mon 08-Jun-20 21:20:31

I’d do it.

Useruseruserusee Mon 08-Jun-20 21:22:54

Are you sure school isn’t an option? We have SEND children in without an EHCP, decided on a case by case basis with the involvement of the SENCo. We would offer a place in these circumstances.

Hangingwithmygnomies Mon 08-Jun-20 21:25:22

Thank you for your kind comments, I honestly thought I might get slated for even considering it. I will take her up on the offer, she's not in the vulnerable category or it wouldn't be an option. In answer to pp my husband co-owns a business so is only really in any close proximity with his business partner, they have strict social distance rules with customers and don't have streams in the shop due to the type of business. Losing my Grandad earlier in the year and his funeral being 3 days after lockdown was announced hasn't helped as I've not been able to grieve properly, so I will take her up on it and allow myself a day to cry/sleep and concentrate on myself. Thank you all again flowers

OP’s posts: |
Hangingwithmygnomies Mon 08-Jun-20 21:27:22

Useruseruserusee

Are you sure school isn’t an option? We have SEND children in without an EHCP, decided on a case by case basis with the involvement of the SENCo. We would offer a place in these circumstances.

No sadly, it's definitely not an option for him - he's a "masker" at school and considered too high functioning but he let's it all out at home. They're only allowing ECHP or key worker children

OP’s posts: |
Blue1316 Mon 08-Jun-20 21:29:00

We’ve just started sending our 2 DC to mils 3 days a week whilst we both work from home. PILs are still in their 50’s with no health conditions and the only contact any of us have is when we go shopping. We felt the minimal risk was worth it as we’ve both been so stressed trying to work with The kids at home alongside the guilt of doing hardly any school work. Mil is really happy to have them again and I’ve just made a list of school work she can do with them tomorrow whilst we work smile it made sense all round ...not sure if it is breaking any rules though!

Useruseruserusee Mon 08-Jun-20 21:33:36

Ah that’s a shame OP as it sounds like he would really benefit from being in school. I hope you are able to get some respite.

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