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Should I send DS back to school?

(37 Posts)
ShowOfHands Thu 04-Jun-20 18:14:55

We have to let the school know if I want DS to go back to school. His Dad is a keyworker so we are being offered a place. He is y3 so his class are not returning yet, unless they have a keyworker parent.

I'm not worried about covid, DH is at work as normal with no PPE and working with the public on a daily basis. That ship has sailed and we are all in good health with no risk factors. I want to know if it's better for him to go back without his friends and do the same learning at school as he would at home or if the strangeness wouldn't be worth it. My y8 dd isn't able to go back yet so it will just be him going.

He doesn't miss school if that makes any difference. 13yo dd would be back like a shot and I wouldn't even have to ask on MN. She's desperate to go back.

I'm not sure if it would benefit him.

So, not would you send your dc back, but should I send DS back? I'm furloughed so no childcare issues.

What is best for DS?

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upthewolves Thu 04-Jun-20 18:19:14

I think it completely depends on the measures the school has in place .

My DD is back and loves it. But our school aren't enforcing social distancing within bubbles so there is no strangeness other than a smaller group and different teacher.

Drivingdownthe101 Thu 04-Jun-20 18:20:33

My year 1 has gone back today and had a great time. She loves school though.
I think only you can say whether it will benefit your DS or not.

Pinkblueberry Thu 04-Jun-20 18:22:10

If you’re furloughed then no. I’m surprised they offered you a place based on just your DH being a key worker and you not being in work at all - it’s emergency childcare. You don’t need it.

ShowOfHands Thu 04-Jun-20 18:24:52

The letter only says that they will have safe bubbles of 12 children. No details but presumably they will only be allowed near their bubble.

I've asked him - phrased as a theoretical question - about going back to school and all he wants to know is if his friends would be there (they wouldn't).

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Drivingdownthe101 Thu 04-Jun-20 18:25:42

Pinkblueberry the government are trying to encourage as many children as possible back to school now.

ShowOfHands Thu 04-Jun-20 18:25:55

The letter says that they've been asked to admit children with one key worker parent from now. This is a change from before.

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SandieCheeks Thu 04-Jun-20 18:29:51

I've sent my Year 5 back now. There's a few other children from his year, they are social distancing even within his bubble but he's enjoying it.
They are doing the same home learning as everyone else in the mornings and fun stuff in the afternoons.

Is he doing his school work at home? If it's a huge battle to get him to do anything I'd send him back. If not and he gets on with it, I'd let him decide.

He can always try it for a couple of days?

ShowOfHands Thu 04-Jun-20 18:30:03


My year 1 has gone back today and had a great time. She loves school though.
I think only you can say whether it will benefit your DS or not.

Glad she had a lovely time. Presumably, she had friends back too?

I can't tell if it will benefit him. Honestly, he's happier at home but that's not a reason not to go to school if he would benefit from being amongst peers again. I can't know what it will be like for him and whether a handful of weeks in a bubble will have positive or negative impact.

I'm asking the impossible but trying to find factors which will aid a decision.

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Divebar Thu 04-Jun-20 18:30:04

I’m surprised they haven’t given more information about what the procedure is.... we’ve had loads of details. Personally I would send my DD and may well do in a week or two if I’m required in the office. I think the longer they are out of school the harder it will be to get back in the swing of things - I trust my school though to make it as nice as they can.

SummerHouse Thu 04-Jun-20 18:30:50

This is news. I am a key worker and so is partner but both WFH. Wondering if our school will proactively ask us (they know we are key workers). In your case I would say give it a go. If he doesn't enjoy it then rethink.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints Thu 04-Jun-20 18:31:41

Do you think he might enjoy it once he's there?

ShowOfHands Thu 04-Jun-20 18:42:54


Do you think he might enjoy it once he's there?

Erm. In the same way that any child does when there's no choice. He'd settle and get on with it.

But getting him there will 100% result in tears and anxiety. I know that for a fact. He does not love school. He manages school and enjoys aspects of it but he would never choose to go.

Does that make sense?

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Keepdistance Thu 04-Jun-20 18:47:11

I would wait. Some schools are trying to get kids back by end of jun so he could be offered a place in his year by then.
Also i would let someone who needs it have it if your dc is not bothered.
Also school cant beat 1-2-1 teaching. Mainly because you can tailor to any weaknesses

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints Thu 04-Jun-20 18:52:55

Yes it does. I'd be inclined to do it now rather than September though I know it might be later than that but I'm trying to remain optimistic. I'm going to struggle to get one of mine back when the time comes & if I could send her now, I would. I'm a rip the plaster off kind of person though. As it is she'll have to go with me on school runs from Monday as dc4(4) is back at school 4 days a week & DH is back at work so I'm hoping that might help a tiny bit!

CrowdedHouseinQuarantine Thu 04-Jun-20 18:55:31

As you are asking the question, and without being in your situation, mine are older, i would say yes, he will enjoy it, like a holiday club? being sociable, back to some sort of normality.

Oly4 Thu 04-Jun-20 18:56:43

It’s not emergency childcare. We’ve accepted places and the kids have been back a week and are loving it. It’s different yes, but they are learning and the school has done a brilliant job with setting everything up to be as safe as it can be. I consider the risk very low.
Personally I wouldn’t want to be battling with everyone else from Sept-Dec trying to get their kids a place at the school.
For everyone saying school should my accept you, read the DfE guidance. All key worker children are being encouraged back

Uhoh2020 Thu 04-Jun-20 18:58:25

I would send him back ok his usual set of friends might not be there but no one will be unfamiliar for him and new friendships might grow.

ShowOfHands Thu 04-Jun-20 18:58:57

If dd were going back, it would be easier because he wouldn't feel like he is the only one.

I think I work hard to show him that school is necessary and isn't optional at normal times because he needs to understand the importance of it. But he knows it's a choice right now and I don't know if what might amount to 3 weeks of anxiety is worth it for him.

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PonderLand Thu 04-Jun-20 19:02:42

My son is in a school nursery and he's gone back this week. They offered keyworker children first who haven't gone during lockdown as the govt have asked them to encourage all keyworker children back, any left over spaces got offered to parents struggling with work etc. We accepted the place and send my son in 2 days a week, there is 7 children in the bubble. They are not enforcing social distancing within the bubbles for nursery. They have now closed places for the rest of the class and I'm not sure when they'll be able to go back. I know several parents who refused the place and that is it until at least September for them. How will schools fit the rest in by September? Accept the place!

Bumpette Thu 04-Jun-20 19:03:18

I'm in with a key worker class at the moment. They are having a nice time but I have to say not getting much work done. My three kids are getting more done at home and we have only been working until lunchtime. So I wouldn't send him back for the work benefit if he were at my school. Also, we had one boy today and he did really miss his friends. In the end he threw himself into it and played with people he wouldn't normally play with and I think that probably benefitted him in a way. However if it were my child and he wasn't desperate to go back, I think if just be concerned that he was going back whilst his sister stayed at home. Think that might be hard to cope with. I think it very much depends on the child though.

SandieCheeks Thu 04-Jun-20 19:06:04

Would he agree to just one or two days a week?

SusieSusieSoo Thu 04-Jun-20 19:08:00

Ds is yr 2 and has been back 3 days and is absolutely thriving in company rather than being on his own all day whilst I work (LP keyworker) (not left at home on his own - I have been in the house)

Spinakker Thu 04-Jun-20 19:16:13

My y2 just went back today for the first day since lock down. DH is a key worker and I'm a sahm but I have a toddler and a 5 year old and between juggling them all we were barely getting any work done. My y2 was reluctant to go but said he has had a brilliant day and doesnt even want to be back with his year 2 class now ! (Although he probably will have too).. it wasn't like normal school they did different activities like make a picture out of lentils or something ! My son loved it. He said one of the year 5s made a game on the computer and did an amazing picture. All of this has really inspired him he would have got none of this stuck at home with a 5 year old and a 1 year old. Why not just try it for a day and see what happens.

ShowOfHands Thu 04-Jun-20 19:19:23

Turns out school sent out a letter and I didn't receive it!

I've read it now and there's a lot of detail. It's very clear that they are providing no teaching but will offer "verbal support as far as possible" with the online home learning and outside that, the children will be outside as much as possible or inside with limited, sterilised supplies. It's described as "keyworker childcare" and states that it's aimed to help families who need the place. Their priority is lone parent families who are keyworkers and households with 2 keyworker, then houses where there is one keyworker and a parent who works away, then houses with one keyworker and a parent working from home, then my situation. It's possible he won't get a place anyway. They're asking who WANTS to go back and then will allocate accordingly.

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