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Friend issue with corona rules

(29 Posts)
Passthebubbly Mon 01-Jun-20 17:00:37

So keeping to the rules I visited my friend outside with my kids in her garden. She seemed offended at us keeping 2 meters apart, told me to get a grip when I wouldn’t allow my kid inside to watch tv or use toilet. We brought our own drinks which she laughed at.

She had someone stay at her house the night before that I didn’t know about until I arrived. My fiend has worked all the way through and has seen people in gardens all the way through.

I left bloody annoyed and uneasy at seeing her again whilst this is ongoing. I felt totally ridiculed for following the rules. Am working up to seeing my shielding mother who is sick in. Hospital at the moment as soon as we can so yes probably do follow the rules to the letter. Have you had friendships affected by difference of opinion on this?

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glassmister Mon 01-Jun-20 17:02:54

A nct friend of mine admitted she's been breaking the rules for a while, it's made me see her as selfish.

Passthebubbly Mon 01-Jun-20 17:07:48

Yeah to be honest I felt the same way, she laughed in my face when I wouldn’t let the kids go in the house. I was bloody annoyed in all honesty. My kids had a better grip of the rules than she did. It’s just shocked me as we have never as much as had a argument ever but seen a really different side to her the other day. We are in Scotland so very very new to went wrong phase 1 also

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NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite Mon 01-Jun-20 17:21:56

I was surprised at a family member jumping the gun and seeing someone else at the weekend rather than waiting until the rules changed today.

I was also surprised at one friend throwing a birthday buffet for another and inviting her extended family from several households around in mid May. It was a nice thing to do but nevertheless made me realise that I could never 100% trust her to do the right thing. I just know to avoid her while covid is doing its rounds.

TabbyMumz Mon 01-Jun-20 17:29:53

Some people just havent taken lockdown seriously. My neighbour has had her new boyfriend appearing and staying overnight on and off right through it. Her daughter has had teenage friends staying overnight right through it and last week friends appeared for drinks in the house. She probably thinks the rest of us are mad.

MadameButterface Mon 01-Jun-20 17:35:40

"I was surprised at a family member jumping the gun and seeing someone else at the weekend rather than waiting until the rules changed today."

what's so surprising about this? what's magically different about today vs the weekend, except for the fact that people who are still working tend to have more time to socialise at weekends? I'm surprised that anyone is surprised by people adopting the new relaxed rules ahead of time tbh.

imsooverthisdrama Mon 01-Jun-20 17:39:52

I was surprised at a family member jumping the gun and seeing someone else at the weekend rather than waiting until the rules changed today.
Oh come on that's a bit different to the op , I saw my mum this weekend outside for the first time yesterday instead of today.
The op friend is just ridiculing the whole of lockdown like the virus doesn't insist.
Saw my mum in the garden at a distance not the same thing .

WindFlower92 Mon 01-Jun-20 17:41:03

I'm so glad to see this thread - I feel like I've gone mad! We went to PILs at the weekend as it was DDs birthday and we just wanted to say hi (they live 2 mins away). Turns out they're having a party with SIL and husband and 3 kids and BIL! Claimed proudly that they were done with social distancing and had hugged and kissed and were now relaxing. Had been drinking all day obviously. Worried now as DD will be looked after by MIL when I go back to work in 2 weeks as we thought it was the less risky option as she isn't working sad

WindFlower92 Mon 01-Jun-20 17:42:08

And they all looked at us like we were aliens when we kept our distance! Feel like a weirdo in my own family mow as everyone's stopped caring hmm

Passthebubbly Mon 01-Jun-20 17:46:43

Thank god i am not alone in this was seriously thinking it was me being weird. I am dreading her turning up here I really am

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PasserbyEffect Mon 01-Jun-20 17:52:27

Let's put it that way: there's a reason why wearing a seat belt in a car is mandatory, not just an advice. Before that most people would laugh it off (and some still do...)
I feel social distancing rules are the same... Some people just don't see the point, and will belittle others for "being afraid".
Nasty side of human nature, but not really new, sadly... (given how "elf and safety" is also laughed at in some circles, should we be surprised?)

Passthebubbly Mon 01-Jun-20 17:54:44

Great way of putting it yes. I have been so down about it as she was the first friend I chose to see as my one other household per day now I just can’t be arsed. Father keep my wee family safe and sound

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JimandWilson Mon 01-Jun-20 18:19:47

Yes to this and very helpful to read others experiences. It's a minefield to navigate ourselves out of lockdown - what some people see as safe etc.
Met for a socially distant bbq and picnic at a local park this weekend and a family member just would not keep the 2m distance- seemed to be actively finding excuses to get close to test reactions, ready to aggressively bite with 'you are being so over the top- the risk is so minimal' and get on their soapbox about how it no longer matters and we have all been prisoners...

I'm a bit flabbergasted to be honest and thought people would at least want to look to be trying even if they weren't being vigilant in private (handwashing / watching any news or updates / face masks etc).

I feel more worried now than at the start of lockdown!

LazyDaisy10 Mon 01-Jun-20 18:27:11

I thought it was just me. My parents seem to think it's all over hyped and did we want to come in for some food when we visited them in their garden. I know my mum has seen friends but I doubt she has kept 2m distance. Its awkward now I dont want to see them but dont want to fall out with them. Everytime I call they are in a supermarket or shop while we have been at home since day 1, popping to shop when we cant get a delivery shot but that's only happened a few times we've been lucky.

BeltaneBride Mon 01-Jun-20 18:36:09

I feel the opposite- I friend who who I did not think was wussy fussing about 'staying safe'.

PasserbyEffect Mon 01-Jun-20 19:01:44

BeltaneBride

I feel the opposite- I friend who who I did not think was wussy fussing about 'staying safe'.

"wussy"
"fussing"
Nice one hmm

MadameMarie Mon 01-Jun-20 19:45:47

Some people just don't give a shit.

Up to you if you want to be friends with someone like that. I bet she claps the NHS on a Thursday.

Passthebubbly Mon 01-Jun-20 19:53:07

Her window is full of thanks to nhs pictures. Just really thrown me

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curtainsforme Mon 01-Jun-20 19:58:00

I felt totally ridiculed for following the rules.

She is no friend. Even if she doesn't agree with a strict following if the rules, she did not have to act the way she did towards you. She has belittled you and that it not a friendship.

MadameMarie Mon 01-Jun-20 20:27:52

curtainsforme

I felt totally ridiculed for following the rules.

She is no friend. Even if she doesn't agree with a strict following if the rules, she did not have to act the way she did towards you. She has belittled you and that it not a friendship.

If she doesn't give a shit about the virus or following any of the guidance she probably won't give a shit about anyone else.

catsareme14 Mon 01-Jun-20 22:26:57

I've seen a different side to several people . I've lost respect for some who have broken the lockdown & then clapped for carers. I will quietly distance myself from them . I can only be responsible for my own behaviour , no one else's .

Eckhart Mon 01-Jun-20 22:32:27

Does she laugh at you and make you feel stupid for other differences of opinion? I don't think it matters that it's about lockdown. Her level of respect for you isn't high enough for her to hope to maintain 'friendship' status with you, surely?

Felicitycity Mon 01-Jun-20 22:45:55

I 100% agree with you OP. People seem to say it's ok to use common sense. Meaning they can do what they like. Drives me nuts.

NoHardSell Mon 01-Jun-20 22:51:52

I wouldn't worry, she will be feeling the same way about you. I doubt there will be more meet ups.

Overrunwithlego Mon 01-Jun-20 22:53:07

passerby the problem with your analogy is that seat belts are, as you state, mandatory (ie there is a legislation that makes them so). The 2m rule is guidance. It is not mandatory, you are not breaking the law and you cannot be penalised (either by way of a fine or more serious penalties) if you don’t follow it. As the legislation brought in today states, you can be stood right next to other people in a 6 person gathering in the park = no law being broken. You can be 2m away to other people in a 7 person gathering = law being broken.

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