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Upset and a little bit worried

(9 Posts)
Thewheelsonthebus23 Fri 29-May-20 22:21:33

I know this is probably trivial and I’m worrying unnecessarily. However we went for a walk with MIL today and DS who is 19 months. It’s the first time he’s seen MIL properly for 10 weeks.
Before we set off, we thought we’d be tackling him and pulling him away, while he tries to cuddle or hold her hand etc. But he just didn’t seem interested at all.
PIL looked after him once a week when I went back to work and since he was first born we were round there at least twice a week. He saw them much more often than my parents who live 250 miles away.
I think DP was a little upset that DS didn’t seem bothered to see his grandma. Obviously it’s a good thing in some ways because he was social distancing.
But it has worried me, in the sense that this lockdown has perhaps had a negative effect on his socialisation and emotional development.

NuffSaidSam Fri 29-May-20 22:27:11

I think it's the inevitable result of the last 10 weeks tbh. It's an age where they're aware of the change in social behaviour, but obviously too young to understand why. I don't think there will be any negative long term influence if we can get back to normal soon. If we have to keep the social distancing even with relatives and close friends on a long term basis it will have a detrimental impact on them imo.

Thewheelsonthebus23 Fri 29-May-20 22:29:51

Oh another thing I forgot to add, I wonder if it’s because she was keeping her distance and not coming too near him or us obviously. I wonder if he picked up on the body language.
Usually she would just pick him up and cuddle him or put him on her lap or hold his hand sad it really makes me want to cry. I’m worried it’s ruined his lovely relationship with his grandparents.

Freddiefox Fri 29-May-20 22:42:29

We bumped into some friends on our walk today. My dc’s have talked nonstop about when they can see their friends. But it was quite awkward as they didn’t have anything much to say and where having to shout.
Hoping it will end up how it was before

duffeldaisy Fri 29-May-20 22:44:44

We had a period where one of the grandparents was living further away, so we only met up a couple of times in a year or two. Those meetups went similarly - they were more shy - but then the grandparent moved house to somewhere much closer, we met up every few weeks, and their relationship is great now. It's just the change in patterns. Children do adapt quickly again. I'm sure it won't be a permanent thing at all.

Catlover10 Fri 29-May-20 22:55:25

Could you maybe get them to FaceTime him more often and speak to him that way so he doesn’t “forget” them as easily? I’m sorry it’s a real shame but hopefully it won’t have to be for too much longer until they can hug and build the relationship back up again!

PasserbyEffect Fri 29-May-20 22:56:06

19 months is still very young. Plenty of time to rebuild that relationship once things feel more normal. Things will be OK, don't worry.

Thewheelsonthebus23 Fri 29-May-20 23:02:43

@Catlover10 we tried FaceTime lots during ‘proper’ lockdown and more recently too, he doesn’t engage with it at all. I don’t know why, he someuimes does briefly, but then he’s off wanting to play or wants us to entertain him or read to him so starts getting upset.

FusionChefGeoff Fri 29-May-20 23:21:58

DN is just a bit older and she loves 'playing' on FaceTime with the GPs so there's more interaction.

A good game is to get lots of things and just show them to the camera and name them. She particularly loves it when they do food!! Or if his language isn't quite there yet, asking him to say or point to which GP is holding the banana. Big cheers / clapping when he gets it right.

She's also a big fan of them reading stories to her.

Have you tried that? It takes quite a bit more work to set up and make sure you have games available but I'd imagine the GPs have quite a bit of time at the moment??

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