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If you have a child you know can't socially distance will you still have people in your garden?

(22 Posts)
2020times Fri 29-May-20 09:42:01

I'm driving myself mad trying to make the decision

It would only be Mum (63, BAME, NHS ward staff) visiting us (me - 40, DH 50, DS 3 years) Me and DH working entirely at home, no outside contact. DS goes to a childminder 2 days with contact with children from 4 other households (DH and I both key workers)

Clearly DS will hug his grandma- it would be much worse for them both if he couldn't

Would you? Are you going to?

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Smarshian Fri 29-May-20 09:45:09

I think we will have PILS over. Me and DH and DD 3.5 and DS 2. MIL is NHS ward staff, 62, FIL working from home and playing golf with his golf buddy. Me and DH working from home mainly. DH has had to go in to work 4 times since lockdown (manufacturing management).
Kids will return to nursery from next week.

daisymay133 Fri 29-May-20 09:46:03

Yes dd12 and dd 15 have been mixing with friends the last 3 weeks on a 1-1 basis
As have most kids near me - in fact most meeting in groups.
Lockdown is pretty much over now

Eachpeachtree Fri 29-May-20 09:46:47

We’re not going to hug, but we’ll be allowing our 2&4 year olds to have grandparents round in the garden next week. Our 4yo will be going to nursery soon; inside and in close proximity to other children and adults.
It seems like less risk to be in the garden with their grandparents, even though I know they’ll go closer than 2m on occasion. We’re going to discourage close contact though (no hugging , pushing on the swing, etc).

mangocoveredlamb Fri 29-May-20 09:47:27

My 3 yo managed to socially distance with both sets of grandparents. It was a bit tricky at first but she really embraced it.

lemonsandlimes123 Fri 29-May-20 09:49:05

I think it would be unfair on the other children at the childminders and the childminder herself. If you are going to start allowing your child to hug people working in a healthcare setting then you need to keep him at home with the two of you, not send him out to a childminder.

Fluffyglitterystuff Fri 29-May-20 09:51:34

This is what I'm wondering. When the school reopening was announced, everyone was asking how children will socially distance. Strangely I'm just not hearing that concern now about meeting in gardens.

Yesterday Boris had barely finished the sentence before mil was texting arranging a barbecue, she bypassed all the 2 metre business. There's little way I'll get my younger dc to keep 2 metre apart.

This in itself doesn't really worry me, what does worry me is that mil will then be barbecuing with her other dc and dgchildren, her friends, her neighbours. She's understandably bored stiff and can't wait to get out. She also likes a drink and forgets herself.

So I might aswell just hold a big garden party for them all.

Knocksomesense Fri 29-May-20 09:52:38

We are. So far we have followed lock down to the letter, and more. We will visit my parents and socially distance. We know that two preschoolers can't be expected to but will distract them with a paddling pool. They won't be going back to preschool so I view the risk as minimal

2020times Fri 29-May-20 10:00:36

@lemonsandlimes123 - the childminder and other parents know and are fine with it (mum actually used to provide 2 days a week childcare before this - I'm currently using annual leave but I've only enough for the next few weeks)

They all have children who return to school next week

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lemonsandlimes123 Fri 29-May-20 10:03:56

In that case i would do it. Your Mum is the most vulnerable obviously but i am guessing that here work puts her at risk anyway so the increase in risk of seeing you is minimal. I suppose the only other factor is if your child is socialising at the CM with children who are back in school that will obviously be a much longer chain of possible infection from next week.

Tropical2 Fri 29-May-20 10:06:14

We would have the Grandparents come to our house as we have a big garden and all the DC's toys etc are there so the DC will most likely ignore the grandparents after five minutes and carry on playing!

Unfortunately the grandparents don't drive and we don't want them getting the bus so we'd have to go to them. They both have small gardens where the DC would have to sit on a seat and not move. They'd also be bored after 10 minutes of no toys. They'd also need the toilet. We live in Scotland where we've been told we need to leave before we need the toilet and not enter somebody's house to use theirs.

The biggest problem would be MIL, she'd want to hug the GC and would get in a strop if we said no.

So no, we are not having visitors or visiting anyone else with the DC.

bloodywhitecat Fri 29-May-20 10:10:49

Yes, because my toddler (fostered) meets their forever parents this weekend so the meet will take place in their garden and because DFC (dear foster child) will be moving in with them next week we need to allow DFC to mingle with their new family.

kennyjenny Fri 29-May-20 10:11:01

This is our dilemma. I'm 24 weeks pregnant and have a 2 year old, bil and sil asking to see us. I've said our 2 year old can't socially distance so we don't want to risk it. The main reason being they haven't stuck to the lockdown rules and they also work for nhs I don't trust that they will be sensible (I've not said this to that to them obviously). I'm probably enemy number 1 at the moment.

PumpkinP Fri 29-May-20 10:19:30

Yes already have

Cornettoninja Fri 29-May-20 10:28:51

We’ll be meeting up with a relative who lives a couple of hours away in a couple of weeks and I’ve already made it clear I’m not keeping my dd at a distance. She’s 4 and is struggling enough without being made to be so close to someone she adores.

In truth we as a family unit are more at risk than our relative since we’ve worked throughout (me NHS back office) and dd has been in childcare but we’ve spoken and agreed that we’ll be taking no chances and won’t be meeting if any of us are showing a hint of a symptom or either of our areas are showing an increase on the ZOE symptom tracker map.

Realistically this is probably the safest time if people have been complying.

nomorespaghetti Fri 29-May-20 10:29:09

Yes, dc are 4 & 1, and we’re going to my parent’s next week. My mum and my dh are both on the shielding list, so both households have been getting shopping delivered mostly. My parents are retired, I’m a sahp and dh is wfh. The only time we’ve been out is for walks. My parents go for walks and run into nobody (rural), we live in the city, and trying very hard to start 2m away from people (lots of people not sticking to it now). Overall I think the risk at the moment is as low as it’s going to be. I believe shielding people aren’t supposed to visit like this, but I guess it’s their choice.

Bubbletwix Fri 29-May-20 11:10:51

Yes, before children go back to school, nursery etc at the end of next week. At the moment both families have been entirely at home except for outside exercise and weekly visit to Tesco. Everyone as low risk as they could be for their ages and all under 70. There’ll be no kisses etc but if my kids wander less than 2m away from their grandparents I’m not going to do much about it. Once kids are back at school that’s it until the summer holidays though.

Bol87 Fri 29-May-20 11:19:52

Yep, we are going to see Grandparents & I will not be enforcing social distancing on my 3 year old. She’s already grown terrified of people & I refuse to let her be worried she can’t go near her beloved grandparents. She’s back at nursery next week at which point she’s not socially distancing from her key workers nor other children. I’ve no idea if those key workers are sticking to the rules nor their families & friends who they’ll start to see. Similarly with the children. Therefore, I deem that we are currently at the least risk we’ll be at for some time.

I’ll be asking my in-laws to refrain from hugging DD unless she goes in for one, in which case it’s fine.

Notonthestairs Fri 29-May-20 11:24:48

@bloodywhitecat I don't know you or your DFC and you don't me but that is lovely news. thanks

sansgender Fri 29-May-20 12:18:36

Our garden isn't nice enough for visitors, but my partner will be taking our 2 year old to his mum's garden (and probably house) as they aren't bothered, and on my side of the family I'll be seeing them alone without child as my dad has an underlying condition and is anxious.

bloodywhitecat Fri 29-May-20 19:03:14

@Notonthestairs thank you. I must confess my heart is breaking a bit though, DFC has been with us for a year and I cannot imagine what next weekend will be like without them. The adoptive family are a perfect match though so my work here is done and I will soon have another little one under my feet (and I still have DFBaby who is 6 months old and scrumptious).

2020times Fri 29-May-20 19:46:03

@bloodywhitecat - oh that made me tear up a little. What a wonderful thing you do and I hope DF toddler is so happy in the forever home 💗

(Also thank you everyone for replies- I still haven't made a decision!)

OP’s posts: |

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