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Advice? Pregnant and sending DS to school

(13 Posts)
NewModelAvaliableSoon Thu 28-May-20 11:36:17

As above basically, will try and keep this short and sweet. (and sorry if it's already been done I couldn't find anything). Been here a while, NC regularly etc.

Essentially, I'm pregnant and wondering whether or not it's safe (relatively speaking) to allow my 5 year old to go back to school.

He wants to go back, this is the main reason for asking the question. This has been to source of much upset since lock down began. I fully understand things will be different and I'm pretty confident my DS will understand and adapt and if I wasn't pregnant I'd been sending him back without a second thought. On the other hand, if he wasn't fussed about going back then I'd easily keep him home. There doesn't seem to be much in the way of guidance online regarding this particular situation hence asking here for advice and/or opinions from people who may be in the same boat.

For context, I could easily keep him home as I'm a sahm anyway so work isn't a factor but as I said this is more about the fact he would love to go back and I know it will make him happy but I'm unsure of the guidance surrounding my being pregnant also.

Any insights welcome. Thank you. (and sorry its longer than I thought!)

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1990shopefulftm Thu 28-May-20 11:51:53

The 3rd trimester the guidance is to be more careful than the rest of pregnancy but none of the guidance is to shield unless you have other health conditions. I did see a suggestion of trying to get other people to do drop offs and pick ups so you aren't going close to other adults if you can.

I m pregnant with my first and have asthma so it's easy for me to say not to do it but I suppose it's a balance of how badly do you think it ll will harm your son not being in school Vs how badly you d handle it if you and baby did get ill.

NewModelAvaliableSoon Thu 28-May-20 13:17:18

Thank you for your reply, I'm in my first trimester still and no other health conditions. I could potentially get DH to do drop off and picks up but it would be dependent on whether he's working or not (he's self employed so work is scattered atm). I'd not thought of him doing that though as I'm used to me doing it so thanks for the suggestion it's something to speak to DH about and see if we can make it work.

I don't really know if it would harm DS as such staying home but I do think it'd do him a world of good if he could go back, hopefully his attitude and behaviour would improve as we're having some issues around that and I think it would be good for both of us to have a break from each other now!

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TomSuay Thu 28-May-20 13:18:38

I'm in my third trimester and we have decided not to send the kids back to school and nursery. However, mine haven't been too fussed about going back so it is a somewhat easier decision for me.

Is it safe? We don't really know. There hasn't been enough research and we don't know if there may be any longer term affects to the growing baby. It doesn't seem like we are more likely to get it, but we may have a higher risk of premature labour. Because of the amount of uncertainty I'm being cautious.

NewModelAvaliableSoon Thu 28-May-20 13:55:44

Thanks @TomSuay. I think that's what's bothering me the most - the uncertainty of it all but I don't want my worries or potentially over cautiousness to be detrimental to DS in the long run. I wish he wasn't fussed about going back, that would make the decision a lot easier I think!

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Bienentrinkwasser Thu 28-May-20 14:00:51

I’m pregnant (and asthmatic). DS is going back to nursery on Monday.

I’m working in a hospital anyway and I feel our mental health (the whole family) is more at risk if we continue as we are, than the risks of Covid.

MindyStClaire Thu 28-May-20 14:02:59

The RCOG has good guidelines here

In particular, there's a bit about other children and school:

Q. What is the advice for pregnant women with older children attending school/nursery/external childcare?

Pregnant women were placed in the vulnerable category by the Chief Medical Officer on 16 March as a precaution during the coronavirus pandemic. The government‘s guidance on schools and early years settings advises that: children and young people who live with someone who is pregnant (vulnerable) can attend school and early years settings. See the next question for information about pregnant women who are classed as extremely vulnerable.

All pregnant women are advised to follow government guidance on staying alert and safe (social distancing). Pregnant women are at no greater risk of contracting coronavirus or becoming seriously unwell than other healthy adults. However, there are additional concerns for pregnant women in the third trimester. This is based on the challenges in caring for women who are heavily pregnant, and the risk of the baby needing to be born early for the woman’s wellbeing.

A recent report from a UK study showed that so far all pregnant women who became seriously unwell with coronavirus were in the third trimester. This emphasises the importance of more stringently practicing social distancing from 28 weeks of pregnancy.

If you choose to take your children to school/nursery/external childcare, you should ensure you practice social distancing – stay two meters away from teachers/carers and other parents and do not go inside the building. If this is difficult, then consider staggering your child’s drop off and pick up times. Remember to wash your hands when you return home and ensure that your children wash their hands when they leave the childcare setting. Alcohol gel can be used if they cannot wash their hands with soap and water.

If you are concerned about the choice of returning to school or other childcare settings based on the risk to children attending, helpful information is available from the RCPCH.

The risk to pregnant women is low, we were included in the vulnerable group as a precaution. I'm 34 weeks with a 2 year old, she'll be going back to nursery as soon as it's open.

Spotsonmyapples Thu 28-May-20 14:12:22

I found out I was pregnant early February, pulled my DC (now 18 months) out of childcare mid march thinking that would be the case until baby arrived. We're now sending him back next week as he did so well for such a long time at home but I can see he is suffering now and missing out on experiences that mean a lot to him and I think are important. I'll probably have to pull him out again in 8 weeks time when I'm 28 weeks but we've decided for now 8 weeks of being back at childcare he loves is the right thing to do for him. He will only be with about 3 other very young children though and they are the only children his childminder looks after so it's a relatively small bubble. They are all keyworker children (as is mine), I've just been working from home rather than frontline as pregnant and he is not getting the best of me as hard as I try. It's not the decision I thought I'd make but I actually now regret pulling him out of childcare. It's a hard decision, theorerical risk to future baby vs definite unhappiness for current toddler. If cases pick up etc we may reconsider but for now I'm assessing risk and feel like what I'm doing is right.
It struck me the other day that (I know it's not the same) but there are common illnesses that can result in serious situations/death. In my last pregnancy I worked with infectious patients and would have been thought mad to request to work from home. I imagine if a new Mum was keeping her child at home, not sending them to school or childcare, washing down shopping and limiting time outside for a disease that posed relatively low risk to herself and that child she'd be referred for PND assessment and possibly social services! Yes there's a pandemic and it's sensible to be cautious and think of others but children and their well-being and development is worth considering too. Just my thoughts! I wouldn't criticise anyone who made a different decision.

THNG5 Thu 28-May-20 14:19:12

I'm 27 weeks pregnant and will be sending my 3 year old and 2 year old back to nursery/preschool when they open.
The way I see things is that we're all healthy and I don't see the difference in between now and the couple of weeks prior to lockdown. The virus didn't appear when we went into lockdown. It was already rampaging and we, the nursery/preschool are all more aware now with much stricter policies/protocols.

NewModelAvaliableSoon Thu 28-May-20 14:26:56

Thank you @MindyStClaire I haven't seen that information before, that's really helpful to read. And thanks every one for you replies with what you are planning to do, its really helpful to see how others are managing the situation.

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Ethellsmum Thu 28-May-20 14:29:02

I’m 32 weeks and still undecided. If I wasn’t in my 3rd trimester then I would send mine to school.

Billyjoearmstrong Thu 28-May-20 14:42:48

I’m currently 26 weeks and no, we won’t be sending year 1 dd.

I realise that the virus was around before the schools closed but we moved house in the middle of jan so Dd hasn’t been to school since then - she was due to start at her new
School in this area the day they closed.

As she hadn’t stated yet she’s not fussed at all about going.

I’ve got quite a risky 3rd section due to some complications coming up in August and I’m taking enough chances with that as it is without potentially adding covid on top. I’m also obese so it could be very nasty for me in pregnancy.

Billyjoearmstrong Thu 28-May-20 14:43:45

Not that I’ve any idea what the school are doing - as she hadn’t set foot in the building yet she’s not officially on the school roll so we’ve heard nothing from them at all.

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