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So, when can we see our partners who don't live with us I wonder?

(24 Posts)
ThespianTendencies Sat 23-May-20 22:46:59

We've been really strict about following the rules. WE have not seen one another other than at the front door at a distance since March. I am wondering if there is any indication of when we can meet up...ahem...properly,...if you know what I mean. I managed to meet dd this week after weeks of both being apart and we kept to the social distancing guidelines which was so difficult! Trying not to hug and be close to your flesh and blood is tough, as I am sure we will all agree. Just airing my thoughts really and wondering how much longer that rule will be in place. Not even looking for a definitive reply...but reaching out incase anyone here is actually 'in the know'. Thank you .

olivesandolives Sat 23-May-20 23:19:21

I'd probably make a risk assessment and just do it at this point tbh.

dollface19 Sat 23-May-20 23:34:16

Went since March without seein dp can't live togther as of children so I've been seein mine in the flesh in my house since last week , people in the thread are longer.
Gov has forgotten us.
Come and join us over at

new covid guidelines: is everyone in a non-live-in relationship still not seeing their partner? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3907043-new-covid-guidelines-is-everyone-in-a-non-live-in-relationship-still-not-seeing-their-partner

beachdays123 Sat 23-May-20 23:35:57

It’s been allowed as an exemption in some other countries I believe. I’ve asked about it for the daily briefing, would be worth others doing the same

www.gov.uk/ask

Joey220 Sat 23-May-20 23:42:19

I’m wondering the same. I haven’t seen my fiancé now for 9 weeks and it’s been really hard. We lived in separate houses before the lockdown, each of us has 2 children and chose to stay in our respective households as we didn’t have enough room in either house for all of us. In reality we are a family unit even though we reside in 2 separate households so I think it’s mad we are still not able to see each other, especially as we aren’t having any contact elsewhere other than my kids going to their dads once a week. I’ve raised this question a number of times for the government briefing but it never gets asked. I didn’t think at the start of the lockdown that we would be separated this long. Neither one of us wants to break the rules but my mental health is really suffering now.

ThespianTendencies Sun 24-May-20 00:01:42

Thank you for all your replies!! I totally agree that we need to use a bit of good common sense. He lives totally alone and I have one child still at home who has socialised with no one other than me since lockdown! Poor kid, cannot be much fun at 13 years of age . Thank god he is an aspiring musician..it has kept us both going smile It is my partner who is the one digging his heels in and waiting for the Govt to tell us when we can be together.
Joey Must be so difficult being away from your fiancé. Let's hope all couples can be reunited soon. it seems ridiculous that people can return to work yet we cannot make an informed and contentious decision to meet up with someone we trust not to have broken lockdown. Either way, there is no 100% guarantee that we won't get it anyway even once we are allowed to meet up!

DartmoorChef Sun 24-May-20 00:04:47

Honestly.. If you have been careful with social distancing, and he has, and neither of you have symptoms then why wouldn't you see each other.

brusselsprouting Sun 24-May-20 00:11:28

I was talking about this today. Not possible to move in together for various reasons, and both have other family living at each address. It's no use, being able to meet 2m apart, like it is with friends etc. I've filled in the form to ask at the press briefing, I'm aware others have too, but I guess if we've been ignored for the last two months, who am I to expect a change...

Sillysop92 Sun 24-May-20 00:14:03

After today, I would just do it! You did what was best for your family, up to individuals to interpret the guidelines - Grant Shapp.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Sun 24-May-20 00:17:00

If the only thing each of you are doing outside the home is the supermarket shop, then there really is increased risk if you both spend time together.

I can understand if one of you worked in a hospital or any of you had s3rious health issues. But otherwise, where is the actual additional risk coming from?

ThespianTendencies Sun 24-May-20 00:21:42

BernadetteRostankowsiWolowitz What a name smile I agree wholeheartedly. He is just sticking to it by word and to be honest it is really pissing me off, more and more.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Sun 24-May-20 00:30:58

Oh jesus I've had more wine than I thought. There were no typos in that when I posted grin

ThespianTendencies Sun 24-May-20 00:38:52

Bernadette Don't worry! I got it :-)

Rubybluesy Sun 24-May-20 00:52:03

Just do it...

LemonTT Sun 24-May-20 01:16:06

It’s one thing to make the risk assessment for yourself if you live alone. However is it right to do it for the other household members?

I don’t know how you shape this fairly for them without it descending into emotional blackmail.

DontLookBackYappityYap Sun 24-May-20 01:22:04

Circumstances are at play. I fucking wish people were intelligent enough to execute them. Unfortunately, they aren't so we are left with arbitrary 'rules' for all.. which the members of government are incapable of following.

ThespianTendencies Sun 24-May-20 10:18:17

LermonTT I am not sure I know what you mean? I live with my ds. DD lives with housemates from Uni. I have allowed ds to meet a friend in the local park for a game of football, but he has only been the once so far. dp and I have met for a walk - all socially distanced meet ups but it is frustrating of course. My thinking is that as we have rumbled on for the last 9 weeks without contracting it (as far as we know!) then how much longer do you stay apart knowing you are both doing as much, in terms of staying out of peoples way, as you possibly can. It really is a grey area!

Catsmother1 Sun 24-May-20 12:24:26

My daughter (18) is also wanting to know when partners can be together. She has been seeing him 2m apart for a walk. Neither have been out until 2 weeks ago, and they haven’t mixed with any others outside their households. My daughter has anxiety and needs a hug from him.

I would not have wanted her to hug him a few weeks ago, but I feel we are the only people in the town that are social distancing now - everyone else is having people in their gardens, in their houses, bbqs in the park with 15 friends etc. And not at a distance. So I kind of wish they would just hug each other. It would make her mental health so much better. But she’s really sticking to the rules, and I don’t think it’s doing her anxiety any favours sad

After hearing Dominic on tv, makes me even more annoyed and frustrated.

NaughtyLittleElf Sun 24-May-20 12:33:11

I started seeing DP at his house after the last change in restrictions, he doesn't come to my house so no direct contact with my DD or between me and his DC because they're not there when I go. He's furloughed now so the level of risk is much lower. It's unreasonable to expect adults in a relationship not to see each other properly from 23rd March to possibly 1st July. Moving in together wasn't an option for us because we both have DC, if we do move in together eventually it'll be a carefully considered and planned process not a knee jerk reaction to going into lockdown.

Rosehip10 Sun 24-May-20 12:37:58

As cabinet ministers confirm, the rules can now be "interpreted" as required, so why no go ahead?

OppsUp Sun 24-May-20 13:04:59

@Catsmother1

Get them both to do a test then meet once the results are in

dollface19 Sun 24-May-20 17:41:50

@Rosehip10 where did you see this info ? Online ?

ThespianTendencies Mon 25-May-20 00:19:54

Hi all, thank you so much for your responses. I am of the mind that we need to kind of make informed decisions at this point. If both parties have adhered to the rules and guidance and you meet up at one or the others house then surely the risk is minimised? I am literally only doing food shopping and walking the dogs! I have not mixed with anyone else and neither has he, It is him who is digging his heels in, but maybe he is right confused Ugh, this needs to be clarified. Doesn't it.

LemonTT Mon 25-May-20 01:43:43

I’m not making any judgement about what you do.

My point was a single person living alone is able to make the decision without impacting on anyone else but the person they decide to see. They in turn can take that risk for themselves.

But, If you live with other people you are imposing your decision and risk on them. They need to be able to challenge what you do. A child who, knowing how you feel about this man, might not be willing or able to challenge your decision. This is the issue that would bother me.

Otherwise I can assess the level of prevalence and risk of transmission locally. I would do that based on an assumption that the other household may not have always complied with guidance. That doesn’t mean not getting on with your life.

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