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My friend hugged me.

(25 Posts)
Pupperee Thu 21-May-20 09:51:58

AIBU to feel a bit miffed about this?

We've been texting and talking to each other over the phone, she is a nurse and although she doesn't work in an official covid ward, she did tell me her ward had someone test positive a couple of weeks ago.

I saw her in the street yesterday and she literally ran up to me and hugged me. I had no time to react or say don't. I didn't even know it was her until she was there in my face hugging me.

I'm quite a non confrontational person so I just stood back and asked how she was and tried to wrap up the conversation quickly and leave as I had my kids with me.

I'm not going to talk about reporting to anyone or anything but I've been thinking about it today and I'm feeling a bit annoyed about it. Am I just being precious? I can get quite anxious about stuff so this whole situation is playing on my anxiety a bit.

OP’s posts: |
Kittykat93 Thu 21-May-20 09:53:10

This wouldn't bother me. I wouldnt keep going over it, just forget it, if you saw her running up to you to hug you could have told her to stay away if it bothered you that much.

Pupperee Thu 21-May-20 09:54:16

I literally said in my OP I didn't see it was her until she was in my face and hugging me...

OP’s posts: |
Howmanysleepsnow Thu 21-May-20 09:58:05

I’d be annoyed too. I’ve noticed lots of nurses have become overly relaxed about precautions when not with patients. I think they’ve been so anxious initially but that it’s faded over time and unlike the rest of the population who’ve had to stay home and keep distance they’ve been used to being around people throughout and only consciously remember risk in patient care situations now.
I’m a nurse who was off work for a few weeks around the peak, and when I returned to work I was shocked by how lax my colleagues had become at social distancing from one another when not in ppe.

ProfMcGonigle Thu 21-May-20 10:02:41

I wouldn't be too pleased about this either. Unfortunately it's done now so I'd say try to be a bit more alert when outdoors in future. I think it makes sense to notice if someone is running at you from a distance.

katkit Thu 21-May-20 10:06:43

I don’t think it was a malicious act, designed to infect you, just a mistake!

Pupperee Thu 21-May-20 10:07:36

I think it makes sense to notice if someone is running at you from a distance

Yes maybe I need to be more alert. I just wasn't expecting it. She wasn't at a distance, she was walking past but I just hadn't seen her. I was talking to the kids and just heard someone shout OH MY GOD and next minute I was being hugged!

OP’s posts: |
Pupperee Thu 21-May-20 10:07:56

I don’t think it was a malicious act, designed to infect you, just a mistake!

Obviously not.

OP’s posts: |
TheGinGenie Thu 21-May-20 10:08:15

There's nothing I want more right now than a hug and I am quite happy to have a hug with some people even in the pandemic, but she should have asked you if it was okay, especially at the moment. It's not unreasonable to be annoyed that she did it without checking you didn't mind.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily Thu 21-May-20 10:15:11

I’m hoping my middle adult child comes home to live in a couple of weeks. He will have to elf quarantine for a couple of weeks, due to my youngest, but I know he’s aching for a hug. He’s a very tactile person and hasn’t had physical contact with anyone for weeks. It is really affecting him emotionally, though he’s a runner and being active helps.

My pint is, OP, she is probably at home kicking herself, because at some stage she’s going to think, “wtf did I do that for?” Nurses, by the nature of their work, can’t socially distance and I think that has probably made her careless about distancing when out of work. The chances are, that very quick contact will not have infected you and you’ll be absolutely fine, but at the same time I can understand your worry.

IdblowJonSnow Thu 21-May-20 10:16:05

Yeah, that's not on. You'd hope for more sensible behaviour especially from a nurse!
I'd be a bit nervous too but I doubt she's passed anything on to you.

FrogInAHat23 Thu 21-May-20 10:25:20

I would be annoyed. I don't think she was being malicious, but it was thoughtless and risky (especially given her occupation!)

midnightstar66 Thu 21-May-20 10:27:06

Maybe this is what Boris was taking about when he said stay alert!

Bol87 Thu 21-May-20 13:19:46

@midnightstar66 - comment of the day 😂😂

Namechangedorthis Thu 21-May-20 13:22:35

Id be annoyed too

I’m finding it so odd as this has been me my whole life though (asd) as I hate any kind of social interaction and have ocd tendencies around germs so a few months ago I’d get weird looks antibacterial wiping trollies etc or people thought I was ‘off’
Now I feel like i May never be looked at oddly or judged again it’s weird and liberating in equal measures

Aria2015 Thu 21-May-20 13:29:53

Could it have been an accident on her part? I bumped into my sister the other day and was so delighted to see her that we instinctively went to hug but then remembered we weren't meant to so stopped when we were about a metre apart! We both said how weird it was! We really did forget ourselves for a minute. Perhaps your friend was the same?

HollysBush Thu 21-May-20 13:37:08

Nice that she instinctively went to hug you I think.... Did she apologise?
I drove past a funeral director today and there were a few people outside, hugging. Brought a tear to my eye, it was so lovely to see (Obviously, presumably, against the rules).
Presumably it was an accident so try to forget it.

MRex Thu 21-May-20 14:10:56

Ah, so this is what the "stay alert" bit is about, dodging nurse hugs!

dialmformmmm Thu 21-May-20 17:02:45

I like the though of elf quarantine

Fucking elves.

VicesReturning Fri 22-May-20 01:37:33

I'm a key worker and in my workplace there is no social distancing. It's business as usual. We all bring in food to share, sit in close proximity, pass the phone around the office, share notes, etc... When at work I forget about coronavirus.

This means that after work when I drive to collect my kids, or stop to pick up food, or whatever, I am still in work mode and forget often that I need to socially distance when I'm out and about.

I expect your friend is like me and is just not as aware of social distance as you because of her job and social distancing not being the massive part of her life it is to you

99ProblemsPlus1 Fri 22-May-20 06:17:55

I mean this with all due respect but it's not great if keyworkers are 'forgetting' about Coronavirus at work (which is understandable) and then 'forgetting' to social distance in public... confused

99ProblemsPlus1 Fri 22-May-20 06:18:34

Especially a nurse who has been around Covid patients.

Derbygerbil Fri 22-May-20 06:58:46

I’d be very pissed off, and was very irresponsible.

Thankfully it seems community cases seem to be dropping, but that’s not the case in hospitals (as you posted). I’m hopeful a second wave won’t happen, and can’t get too worked up about people seeing friends if I they socially distance, bit if medical staff start going round hugging all their friends, then this will change...

And even if you are someone who thinks “can’t be done with this any more so fuck it, let’s get back completely to normal” (which basically means the past couple of months have been completely for nothing, but anyway), you mustn’t assume everyone else will think like you.

MoreW1ne Fri 22-May-20 08:00:35

Agree with Vices. I go into school every week to look after the key worker kids. We sit apart in the computer room but not really during PE and breaks (impossible so not worth it) and it's nice to just give the kids a little bit of normality. I sit with work friends and chat for a bit before/after.

I've been doing this throughout so I'm not as obsessive about the SD as others I know, as I've kept some normality. I suspect it was just a gut reaction from her. If shes a friend surely you can just mention it to her?

Recoverandthrive Sat 23-May-20 23:38:48

She needs to be more self aware especially given her line of work. You're not being precious at all.

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