Not sure how long I can carry on with this

[voxnihili]

When lockdown hit, I had been back at work after maternity leave for about 7 months. During my maternity leave I suffered with PND for which I’m still on medication. I returned to work part time (4 days) which gave me a great balance between being with my toddler and being at work.

I’ve been working from home since lockdown started as although I’m a key worker (teacher - SLT) my daughter’s nursery was closed. I’ve been really struggling with the relentlessness of it and feeling like I couldn’t cope with fitting work in around my toddler and being exhausted due to being with her all day and then working all evening, 7 days a week. I’m also expected to be on call for work during the day every day - my day off seems to be forgotten. I don’t mind working it as I’m not doing a full work day each day but it would be nice to have that day where I can just forget about anything work related until the evening.

I received notification that my toddler’s nursery was reopening and had pinned my hopes on her returning, even if just for a couple of days. I love being home with her but I can’t manage work as well. I’ve found out that there’s no place available for her due to restricted numbers. I cried when I heard, not because I’m desperate to not look after her but because it’s just too much.

I’m being pressured by work to find another nursery which I’m not keen on at this stage. I was happy for her to go back to hers as I know the setting and staff and trust them, but I don’t want to put her somewhere else and would be worried about leaving her somewhere where they can just give her a place like that (waiting lists here are very long).

My DP is great and takes her as soon as he gets home from work and at the weekend so I can work but it means every waking moment is spent with childcare or working.

I feel so isolated, which I know everyone probably is as we’re not allowed to see people. I just don’t know how long I can go in before my mental health is in serious decline again.

Sorry for the long post, just trying to get things off my chest.

[fessmess]

That sounds really tough. My children are late teens and I am furloughed so I am the opposite to you. I keep thinking how hard it must be to wfh with young children. My neighbour is using a child minder, would that work?

[Groundhogdayzz]

That sounds so tough, like you say, just getting back into some sort of normal routine and then this, it’s hard when it feels like it’s one knockback after another. I think you are completely sensible not wanting to send your daughter to another nursary rIght now, it’s a big thing getting them settled when they first start. Can you not get key worker status for a priority place at the current nursary?

[stepford1]

I am not surprised you are feeling done in - firstly will you get a break over half term 🤞🏼 to take a breath (or as part of the SLT are you still working?) I do think you need to set boundaries with the school as it sounds like if they don’t factor in your 4 day week then they run the risk of you having to be signed off work not too far down the line and that isn’t what either you or they want. I would also ask the nursery to reconsider you as a priority as a teacher and keep working with them to get some childcare (any half days available?) as soon as they can accommodate you but looking for a new childcare solution in the current conditions really is unreasonable of your employers. I do hope things start getting better for you and remember to be kind to yourself as you are doing the best you can (also hope your wonderful DP is home for the long weekend so you can all recharge together)

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Does your nursery know you are a key worker ?