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So worried and depressed about the future

(56 Posts)
Wannaflyaway Mon 18-May-20 20:35:00

I'm really struggling right now to comes to terms with this 'new normal' and the loss of our past life. This virus has sucked all the joy out of life. No more socialising without restrictions; schools, look likely to be miserable places if/when they reopen, whenever that may be; no more theatre, concert, cinemas, pubs, restaurants for God knows how many months.years. Virtual dating, virtual playdates for kids. This feels like hell to me. Its just so, so bleak and depressing. I just don't see the point in being alive if all the things that made life enjoyable are taken away. Without them, its drudgery. I'm feeling just so, so very sad and so low. I keep going only for the sake of my 5 year old and I'm so sad most of all for her. I just don't know how to get through the next many months/years.

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Fluffyglitterystuff Mon 18-May-20 20:48:59

I feel the same.

4yo & 11yo here. 11yo was already in a crap local comp, he's not really learning anything at home, even if/when he goes back in September it's going to be even worse and there'll be no accountability because it will be all about Covid19.

I'm wfh and feel like the choice is to either neglect the 4yo and do some work, or do barely any work and care for my child.

Most of the things we usually enjoy we can no longer do. Dh and I are fed up, the dc are fed up.

onedayinthefuture Mon 18-May-20 20:54:05

This way of life isn't sustainable. The garden centres near me have been so busy they have been selling out. If all goes to plan and restaurants/pubs can open in July (even with social distancing) they will be full. Most people want their old lives backs, you only have to see the pictures of the beaches and parks to prove it. The ice cream man was back down my road today, saw some very happy kids. We really do need to adopt the Swedish approach going forward now.

I really miss sport and hope this time next year, we'll be ready for the Euros and the Olympics!

MiniTheMinx Mon 18-May-20 20:57:50

I'm not the most social of people but even I'm missing going out for lunch, Sunday afternoon in the pub and shopping. I'm trying to enjoy finding new things to do. I'm not keen on baking or home making anymore, I sort of got bored of it when the children became teens. But I'm discovering lots of new walks, bought a mountain bike, ordered tennis balls now we can use courts again. I think it helps if you can find new activities. Are you anywhere near the countryside? are their any crafts you could try? take up an outdoor hobby? throw yourself into growing veg? start writing? learn a new skill? it's tough if you miss being around people, I don't have any answers for that sad

Waxonwaxoff0 Mon 18-May-20 20:58:32

I know what you mean OP, this is not living for me, this is existing. It's like groundhog day.

BUT I have a feeling life will be back to normal sooner than we expect.

Time2change2 Mon 18-May-20 21:05:29

I feel the same. I am a very ‘always out’ person. I thrive on being where people are and things are going on. Most of the joys of life have been sucked out. It’s work and chores repeated with work and chores. Many people won’t be able to go on like this for too much longer

Wannaflyaway Mon 18-May-20 21:07:18

Thank you both for your replies. oneday what you've said is encouraging, thank you. I hope we adopt the Swedish approach too. I just don't know how long we can go on like this. fluffy I wfh too and totally understand what you're saying, I feel exactly the same.

This might seem silly and trivial but I desperately want to go and see Jeff Wayne's musical version of War of the Worlds in April next year. I haven't gone ahead and bought a ticket though as I can't see it going ahead now with covid-19. I've been watching the live version on DVD and I'm absolutely gutted that I may never ever get to see it.

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SmileyClare Mon 18-May-20 21:13:39

Are you a single parent? I imagine it must be very difficult right now and you're feeling very isolated. It's important to remain positive and keep perspective. This situation isn't going to be forever. Work on a vaccine is looking positive, the Oxford vaccine is already at trial stage. There are also developments being made into anti viral treatments.

School won't be "miserable" for your dd. The thought is to have pupils separated into small groups so they will be able to interact normally and play within that bubble of children. She won't be forced to sit at a desk on her own. Children adapt quickly and are surprisingly resilient.

I understand you feel sad and down about the situation. Everyone feels the same, although we're all impacted differently. I'm worried sick about our finances and being able to earn enough to survive in this climate, as well as anxious about the affect this will have on my teenagers.

This isn't forever, things will gradually return to normal. I would suggest limiting your time on social media, which can be full of doom and gloom.

If you are struggling with your mental health and feel there is no point in anything, it might be worth speaking to your gp? Or at least telling your family or friends? That said, it's completely normal to feel sad about how you're affected.

Things will get better and you must hold onto that. This period is a small fraction of your whole life. flowers

Scottishgirl85 Mon 18-May-20 21:17:56

@onedayinthefuture what is the Swedish approach? I'm well briefed on our country but have lost track of what other countries are doing.

Bluntness100 Mon 18-May-20 21:18:41

It’s very likely life will be back to near normal my the end of July op and I’d be very surprised if you can’t see your show next year.

In the big scheme of things it’s just a few weeks. Try to take it easy and let the scientists do their thing.

Viviennemary Mon 18-May-20 21:22:26

I think we have to take our pleasures where we can. Somebody mentioned garden centres. A new book or materials for a hobby or craft. It's the only way. Try some baking with your DD. It's not going to be for much longer. But most of us have days like this. Hope you feel better soon.

CalmYoBadSelf Mon 18-May-20 21:24:49

I can remember when my DCs were small, panicking about mad cow disease. I thought this was it, we'd never be able to enjoy food without worrying and we'd spend years waiting to see who had got it. Obviously that never happened but I did learn that all the worry I went through was pointless
This time is really difficult and I understand your worries but we have to just live for the day and trust that life will get better.

Wannaflyaway Mon 18-May-20 21:30:52

Thank you everyone, reading your replies is helping. Smiley yes I'm a single mum so its just me and my 5 yr old daughter at home. I have spoken to a friend about how I feel which has helped a little, but I know how worried she is about the future too so I don't want to burden her. If my mental health deteriorates, I will speak to my GP.

Bluntness I do hope I get to see the show, I might just throw caution to the wind and buy a ticket anyway.

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LilacTree1 Mon 18-May-20 21:31:52

OP - campaign.

Write to your MP and Downing Street etc

Make your views known wherever you can.

Helmlover1 Mon 18-May-20 21:37:31

I feel exactly the same, I’m at the end of my tether at the moment. Work are taking the piss, I miss my family and friends, I miss going to the cinema and out for meals, I miss not being able to pop to the shop without bloody queueing, the list is endless.

I hate life at the moment and I feel as though (like many other people) my mental health is rapidly deteriorating.

olivehater Mon 18-May-20 21:42:34

We will go back to normal soon as people won’t tolerate it. I am not planning forcing this on my young kids for much Longer and neither are any of my friends.

LemonyCupcake Mon 18-May-20 21:47:04

Totally feel same OP

I’m just not really doing it any more - 99% of people I know are utterly sick of it and ignoring the bloody rules

Wannaflyaway Mon 18-May-20 21:47:42

Helm I'm so sorry you feel the same. It's just awful isn't it? I hope you have support around you. I'm so drained of it all.

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LilacTree1 Mon 18-May-20 21:48:35

“ I’m just not really doing it any more - 99% of people I know are utterly sick of it and ignoring the bloody rules”

I’m relieved to hear this.

Either everyone I know is sticking to the rules and even, in some cases, a ting like full lockdown is still on - or they’re lying.

JoeExoticsEyebrowRing Mon 18-May-20 21:53:50

I know this sounds like a total cliche but please try and remember that this will pass, it won't be forever, and some people are in a far worse position.

I know a woman in her early thirties who has had cancer for about 3 years and has just been discharged from her hospital on end of life care. She has been through so much shite with her treatment because she was determined to get as much time as possible, but now may well have to spend the last few months of her life not seeing the people she loves in the flesh, not being able to fulfil any 'bucket list' wishes, and pretty much confined to her house. There will be others like her.

Hopefully you and I and most others will have the chance to look back on this time.

I'm not minimising your feelings, it is shit, but I always find it helpful to put a bit of perspective on things.

WeveGottaGetTherouxThis Mon 18-May-20 21:55:03

I agree completely, and it is just compounded by certain people acting like you’ve got leprosy on the rare occasions that you do venture out.

I’m also hating the queueing and inevitable time slots that will be allocated to people as and when things do open up. Everything will likely be mobbed and it just seems unappealing.

Hmmm I’ve most definitely got PMT 🤣

LilacTree1 Mon 18-May-20 21:57:02

Joe, I have no idea why that would make anyone feel better

But that aside, end of life patients have even been considered by the government, shock horror. Why won’t her friends see her btw? I know of someone who was in this position and sorry to say, the friends who wouldn’t visit said “I’m scared I’ll catch covid from the carers in your home”.

Deblou43 Mon 18-May-20 22:02:53

I feel exactly the same I even thought shall I just die to save all this anxiety and depression because of this virus (I am not suicidal ) I spoke to my doctor the other day and a lot of people mental health is deteriorating which will be worse than the virus and a new pandemic ... I don't think people will keep social distancing

Wannaflyaway Mon 18-May-20 22:03:47

Joe that is terribly sad for the woman you know.

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cryinglightning Mon 18-May-20 22:12:47

Oh OP, I could have written your post sad I'm with you - while I know we are in a good position comparatively to others, what is the point of this effort for staying alive, for a life which has had all the nice things taken from it? Cinemas, concerts, restaurants, cafes etc - without leisure activities like that and not being able to see loved ones, life seems meaningless.

I have no helpful suggestions really, but you're far from alone. Sending hugs x

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