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Child to go to Grandparents?!

(35 Posts)
dollface19 Mon 18-May-20 08:20:59

I know this question has been asked a million times and I'm sure in my mind I know the answer to my own question, but I work from home in high pressured job. Single mum to one child, for 8 weeks we have seen grandparents through window and at a distance, now work is getting busier finding my patience very thin(as everyone else is) as I can't do it all, all day. Her GM has continuously asked to have her few hours once a week while I'm working for the day, now for all this time I've said no, but now considering it as we have recently had a meal with them in their garden, just not in the house. No parties have had any symptoms etc I've been tested for my job purposes in case I need to go into work and negative results.
GF is still working full time in stockroom in a warehouse, but is following guidelines daily etc. When dd goes to their house he wouldn't be there just GM who doesn't work and doesn't have contact with anyone else. I'm seriously considering it but I understand you are not allowed but for MH reasons I feel it's good for us all over other risks.

OP’s posts: |
Wtfdidwedo Mon 18-May-20 08:22:20

I would do it. It's against the guileless though.

Littlepoppet1 Mon 18-May-20 08:23:59

Assuming neither of them or you are high risk I would do it.

Concerned7777 Mon 18-May-20 08:24:50

I would do it, in fact I am doing on Thursday.

SnuggyBuggy Mon 18-May-20 08:25:49

I'd do it

1forsorrow Mon 18-May-20 08:29:05

I do it.

MsJaneAusten Mon 18-May-20 08:31:28

I wouldn’t, but only because I get anxious about rules. I wouldn’t judge someone else doing it though.

What I have been doing since last week is getting DM to take my kids for walks/cycle rides to give me a bit of time to concentrate on work. That could be a middle ground if a few hours would be enough for you?

novacaneforthepain Mon 18-May-20 08:38:26

I'm so desperate to do the same thing! Following for replies

ChocolateCheesecake20 Mon 18-May-20 08:43:14

I'd do it.

AJPTaylor Mon 18-May-20 08:55:10

I would do it too. You are all intelligent adults balancing the risks and benefits.

AJPTaylor Mon 18-May-20 08:56:11

And I would trust your judgement over that of our dear leader.

SpiderPlantSally Mon 18-May-20 09:08:27

If you are willing to take the risk that the virus could be in their home, via GF bringing it home from work, even if he's not physically there when your DD is, then did what the government says, just do it.
GM isolating for weeks is irrelevant as she's had daily contact with GF who is going to work. But you need to weigh up what is more valuable to you - peace of mind that your own household won't come down with anything vs your professional sanity.

SecondaryBurnzzz Mon 18-May-20 11:38:37

I wondered the same thing, my DD and her Grandparents are in good health (no underlying health issues) and all three have been observing all lockdown rules. If she went to their house they would stay in, bake, garden and stay home. We would drive her there and back.
It seems ok to me too.

PinkJam Mon 18-May-20 11:49:57

Go for it OP.

bubblesandbeer Mon 18-May-20 11:54:11

Do it, we are considering it too.

Porcupineinwaiting Mon 18-May-20 11:54:27

Every mixing of households increases the risk of transmission. But from what you've said, the risk wouldnt be huge in this case. If noone involved is at high risk, and if everyone is happy with it, then I think it's fine. Guidelines are just that.

whensmynexthol1day Mon 18-May-20 12:13:48

We're doing it over the next couple of weeks. I am desperately far behind at work and just need to catch up. I figure now is the time to do it before they go back to school as both households have pretty much only been going to the supermarket infrequently and for walks so our risk is incredibly low. Obviously our circle will widen once they go back to school.
I'm a massive rule follower but have finally cracked!

QueenOfCatan Mon 18-May-20 12:30:08

Husband and I are considering it as well. He's doing alright and I can do most of my work around them but I'm a month behind on my degree and need a few solid days to catch up before I get further behind. I'm at breaking point mental health wise too. My two won't be going to childcare in June as we can't find a space for them so we had been considering getting a nanny when we need childcare, may as well be their actual nanny! And as of last week nannies and childminders can work for one family which seems ridiculous when own family can't.

Angeldust747 Mon 18-May-20 13:02:08

I weighed up the options between nursery and sending DD to grandparents, and am leaning towards not sending her to nursery straight away and letting her go to her grandparents a couple days a week. I think the risk of mixing our two households is less than her going to nursery (not that I think the risk at nursery is massive), and them spending time together has much more of a benefit right now.

hellohungryimmummy Mon 18-May-20 13:15:52

I’m also considering. I have to go into work in a few weeks time and whilst DH WFH, he’s a high earner and his work have high expectations of him (& we don’t want to lose his income when they make the anticipated cull later in the year).

My DM & DIL are fit 70 yo (who have hardly been out of late) and always had the children before. Goodness knows what’s happening with schools so even if the bubble thing isn’t announced, we are likely to go for it!

Mybrowneyedgal Mon 18-May-20 13:16:17

Depends on age and whether there are any underlying health conditions? Caring for a child is different from having a meal in the garden

Spied Mon 18-May-20 13:18:54

If GF wasn't working then yes.
As he is I'd not feel comfortable my DC being there at the moment.

dollface19 Mon 18-May-20 13:21:12

Majority have said go for it but @Spied had clarified that GF is still working no health issues both early 60s, it's a low risk but still that, a risk. I think il wait until next review which is only the 28th May, but not holding out much hope x

OP’s posts: |
SecondaryBurnzzz Thu 21-May-20 05:42:12

What did you decide to do @dollface19?

Peggysgettingcrazy Thu 21-May-20 06:15:47

I think in these cases we need to loook individually at risk factors and decide for ourselves.

I know people who have sent their kids to grandparents throughout. Because they couldn't work afford not to work, couldnt work with the kids at home and as a family they decided that was better than the child going to school.

Theres lots of places where people have to look at the risk and judge for themselves. A friend calls and her and her dp have had a raging argument. What's riskier? The friend staying in a house where they are going at (not physically) it eachother, or letting the friend come to yours for a few days? Each situation will be different depending on the people in each household.

Someone's mental health is failing. Look at the risk of visiting them or having them stay with you vs them staying g on their own.

One of my team had her grand daughter stay as the household was getting very stressful. The GD is 8, with 2 siblings a toddler and a baby. Her poor mum is stressed to bits trying to keep them entertained. Her husband is a key worker so out alot (though I believe he does alot when he is at home). My team member is shielding. But they all decided that, given, the family are strictly adhereing to SD and the husbands job allows him to SD, over all it was best for the GD to go stay for a week.

We really need to be able to judge risk for ourselves.

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