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Sending a teenager to a primary school?

(66 Posts)
Nochangeplease Sun 17-May-20 12:53:02

Just that really. Not all secondary schools offer key worker provision, I suppose because it’s not really needed. I’ve been asked to return to work ASAP and have a teenager at home that can not be left at home. Do you think it would be really unfair to them to expect them to go in to a primary school to be ‘looked after?’. I would struggle to get her to go and would worry about the effect on her mental health, and whether she would actually turn up.
Do you think it’d be worth talking to my bosses or is it a case of tough, a version of childcare is there, use it?

OP’s posts: |
SionnachRua Sun 17-May-20 12:54:01

Has your LA told you to send the teen to this particular primary?

SpookyNoise Sun 17-May-20 12:54:07

Is the primary school offering a place?

Nochangeplease Sun 17-May-20 12:55:08

Yes the primary school would most likely offer the place I’ve been told by the school.

OP’s posts: |
Dillybear Sun 17-May-20 12:57:57

You don’t mention the reasons that she can’t be left alone, but I’m wondering if she could help the teachers out a little during the day so she feels like she isn’t being treated like a younger child - as well as doing her own work of course. It could be a little like work experience for her?

sunshineanddaffodils Sun 17-May-20 12:58:43

No it's not fair on your poor dd.

Herpesfreesince03 Sun 17-May-20 12:59:56

How old is she?

Nochangeplease Sun 17-May-20 13:02:21

14. Her school are providing live online lessons throughout the day so she would be expected so sit and do them on a laptop. Not even sure how it would work because the school day hours at the primary school are different from hers, probably with different lunch times ect so she would probably miss parts of lessons. From what I’ve been told she’d be the only secondary student there. She has no SEN but can’t be alone for safeguarding reasons.

OP’s posts: |
Nochangeplease Sun 17-May-20 13:06:53

To me it seems really unfair to her, on top of everything else she’s dealing with. She’d be modified but I’m not sure if this is a good enough reason not to go to work? Not that I particularly have a choice.

OP’s posts: |
DBML Sun 17-May-20 13:15:25

I really feel for your situation.

If there’s a chance she won’t turn up after sending her, I wouldn’t do it. Only because of the impact this will have on staff at the primary school and then worrying and having to contact you at work to look for your daughter. I think that could possibly create more worry and disruption.

Has she got a family member who can pop over and watch her? Or a grandparent she can go to? I know it’s not strictly allowed, but if you’re thinking of letting her go hang out with multiple non-related people at a school, I can’t see how one healthy family member would hurt. Especially if she is vulnerable.

I think there will be so many people with children who still can’t go to school, but parents who need to go back to work. Somethings going to have to give.

sunshineanddaffodils Sun 17-May-20 13:16:06

I have a 13 year old and a 15 year old. They’d be absolutely mortified. I really feel for you - you’re in a really difficult position.

ivfgottostaypositive Sun 17-May-20 13:16:55

Has she only just turned 14 or is she nearer 15? If it's the latter I'd say you're being a bit precious about not leaving her home alone due to safeguarding.....since at 15 it's legal to do so

If I were her I'd be doing everything to show I was responsible to stay home because there is no way a primary school is a good setting at her age??

LadyPenelope68 Sun 17-May-20 13:21:41

I think your secondary are giving you incorrect information, primaries are not open to secondary students, even those of key workers. If your own secondary isn't open for keyworkers children, then they should be referring you to the nearest secondary that is open.

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow Sun 17-May-20 13:22:17

Is she really never allowed to be alone? Is there any way she can be checked on by a neighbour or a relative a couple of times a day? Or is it possible that this could be an incentive for a change in behaviour?

Mummyoflittledragon Sun 17-May-20 13:57:37

We have no idea why she cannot he left when the majority of 14 yos can.

I do remember being 14 op. Unless your dd loves little kids, I expect she will be mortified. Where is the closest available secondary?

Rainuntilseptember Sun 17-May-20 14:00:59

Where I live there are hubs to serve a collection of schools - this can be a primary and yes some secondary kids go there.
If she has live lessons she would sit in a quiet space and do them, I suppose. If you think she might wander off between home and school and not attend, is that more or less dangerous than leaving her at home?

helpfulperson Sun 17-May-20 14:07:45

When you say she can't be left alone what exactly does that mean.

For example would she be OK to be sat in a room on her own taking part in her own online lessons. Or does she need to be within someone's sight. I would have a chat with the person running the Hub and see what they can offer. As suggested maybe if she needs to be with an adult then helping in the nursery might be better.

It also depends on your daughters understanding of the safeguarding reasons.

Whaddyathinkofthis Sun 17-May-20 14:11:12

My daughter is 14 and has been into school with me on my keyworker days. Our school have offered the option for all staff children under 16. She was only exposed to the same risk as I was anyway.

She did a combination of her own schoolwork and supporting the children in activities/playing.

She loved it tbh.

Whaddyathinkofthis Sun 17-May-20 14:13:24

since at 15 it's legal to do so

That's untrue. There is no minimum age when a child can be left home alone. It is down to parental judgement and the OP's judgement is that her daughter wouldn't be safe. She doesn't need to justify the reason to us.

ABucketOfShells Sun 17-May-20 14:13:48

Is there a reason you can’t leave them at home?

Nochangeplease Sun 17-May-20 14:15:33

I definitely can not leave her alone. No she doesn’t have to be in sight, but definitely needs somebody in the house, especially at the moment with what is going on. I do t really want to say much more than that.
I don’t have anybody else that can sit with her. The primary school has links with the secondary and I think that’s why they will take her.
My only options are send her to the primary and hope she turns up every day (she won’t) or not go to work.
I’m not saying she’d never turn up, but at some point, she would have enough, and go and do her own thing instead.

OP’s posts: |
YgritteSnow Sun 17-May-20 14:18:38

Has she only just turned 14 or is she nearer 15? If it's the latter I'd say you're being a bit precious about not leaving her home alone due to safeguarding.....

You have no idea why this teenager might be unable to be left but call OP precious anyway hmm. I have two teens who can't be left. I am not in any way "precious".

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow Sun 17-May-20 14:24:06

If you're worried about her going can't you do drop off and pick up?

yikesanotherbooboo Sun 17-May-20 14:24:22

It won't be like normal school. I assume she understands the reasons behind why she cannot be left at home and also that you are obligated to work. I would attempt to persuade her that this is the only current option , that she won't be babied and that it is likely over the next few weeks that a more suitable placement will come up. It is just a building in which she will be safe while you are at work.

bluestarsatnightfall Sun 17-May-20 14:25:49

I take it she is harming herself? Have you spoke to your employers about what's going on?

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