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A thread for those of us who have lost a loved one

(6 Posts)
MrsKCastle Sat 16-May-20 21:44:18

I'll start by saying that I haven't been around on MN very much recently, and I may have missed a thread like this. If so, please point me in that direction and I'll go and post on it.

If not, here it is.

I was just hoping to make contact and be able to chat with people in the same situation - sadly, I know there are far too many of us.

I'm my case, it was my Dad. He passed away over a month ago now in hospital. I hadn't seen him for quite some time , we didn't live all that close and we had busy lives and we'd call each other and catch up every now and again and say 'Oh, we must get together soon'. And the weeks would go by. And that's one of the things that hurt the most. All the missed opportunities. And the things I should have done differently.

The day he passed away, the doctor spoke to me that morning and said I could come and visit him - special allowance made for an 'end of life' visit. But the hospital was over an hour's drive away and I didn't get there in time. I walked into the ward and he was already gone. That really hurts. And he was on his own when he passed away.

Anyway, thanks for listening.

OP’s posts: |
BubbasMumma Sat 16-May-20 22:52:13

I'm so very sorry for your loss OP.

I don't have any words atm but I'm really sorry flowers. A virtual hug from me to you. I have a father yet don't. It's a very sentimental word for me. I wish you lots of strength smile

Didkdt Sat 16-May-20 23:05:54

I lost someone on Monday. The final 10 days went from the drop on hearing of suspected Covid to the hope they'd pull through to the hospital admission thinking they'd get better followed by the move to palliative care and the inability to be there because I'm shielding.
On the one hand it's distant and feels surreal and on the other it's a raw grief that as a family we are going through. I've had dozens of requests from people to attend the funeral but it's limited to 10 and the idea I probably won't be one of them hurts so badly.
It's not just that Covid took people before their time it's that we can't be there to say goodbye or hold their hand.

MrsKCastle Sat 16-May-20 23:24:22

Thank you BubbasMumma

Didkdt That's exactly it, the not being able to see them and say goodbye. I really feel for you not about the funeral. My brother can't come to Dad's, and he's finding that very difficult. And as you say, lots of people who would want to come and show their respects can't because of the regulations about numbers.

We're planning - hoping - to have some kind of bigger memorial whenever we're allowed to have 'gatherings' again, but who knows when that could be.

OP’s posts: |
Didkdt Sun 17-May-20 00:29:14

I'm also thinking of a memorial. Followed by a bit of a celebratory whatever we will call it. But he's hone and because of the lockdown there are so many people who won't notice until they gather at the places he used to go.

SANDY2016 Tue 19-May-20 00:40:02

If it helps u all I was in ICU recently and nearly died of covid there are some fantastic nurses and they do comfort people in distress xxx

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