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If you disagree on the risk of covid with your partner...

(8 Posts)
Teacher12345 Sat 16-May-20 07:15:55

How would you decide whose view is most important? The anxious one or none anxious one?
DH has been very very anxious about COVID. His measures, in my opinion are extreme, but I have gone along with it as he isn't doing any harm. A few examples include sanitising shoes after going for a walk, wiping down all things that come into the house, even if they have been isolated in the car for 2/3 days first and wiping door handles etc after a shopping delivery.
The issue - we both agree that June 1st is too soon and we need to wait to see what the data looks like after a few weeks of the restrictions being eased. DH would be happy keeping the kids home until September, whereas I would seriously consider July depending on data. Our youngest starts reception in September and I feel 6 months with no social interaction is going to be a serious problem. She is already behind emotionally and so this is a big concern. My eldest is coping pretty well but he really needs some time out the house and if the risk is low enough, I would be happy for him to attend.
So far I have gone along with DH to ease his anxiety and I have been happy to do so. I wouldn't be happy to keep the kids at home until September though if it safe to do so earlier. Whose viewpoint holds more importance here?

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Teacher12345 Sat 16-May-20 08:01:07

bump

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Pipandmum Sat 16-May-20 08:07:54

Your youngest wouldn't be going to school now anyway so not an issue there (unless you are thinking nursery but not all kids go). You don't say how old your other child is.
Who looks after the kids? Are you both working from home? Who helps your eldest with schooling? These are important factors to weigh in. It will have to be a compromise - while I think your husband's actions are extreme, one can't just dismiss them. But they are extreme. Is there someone he might listen to who could reassure him that returning to school is ok?

ragged Sat 16-May-20 08:21:02

What does he think will be different in September?

Is he willing to take charge of all the Home-schooling activities?

Does he think NOW is more important to stay away from school than 10 March was -- why will be 1 June be more unsafe than 10 March was?

Does he apply the same risk thresholds to things like whether other kids in the school have been immunised against influenza or chickenpox?

Teacher12345 Sat 16-May-20 08:22:08

Youngest would be going to nursery. Eldest is 7.
DH furloughed and I am WFH but also do most of the home-schooling because DH isn't confident and I am a teacher. When he does it - they almost always argue.
There is no one he could talk to really. Few of his friends have kids and those that do haven't been very strict with lockdown so he wouldn't listen to them. Same with his parents. He doesn't trust their judgement as they are generally pretty lax with health and safety which is probably why is is so stressed about it all the time.

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Teacher12345 Sat 16-May-20 08:25:14

To be honest ragged, he wanted the out of school well before they shut in March. I don't think he applies risk to those things because they haven't been a serious risk of death for a long time - although you could argue that COVID isn't a huge risk to children either - DD had chicken pox right before lockdown and it was horrible to watch her suffer. I understand why he wants to avoid it but I feel at somepoint we will have to face it.

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PleasantVille Sat 16-May-20 08:27:47

Well done for putting up with that level of craziness, his actions aren't proportionate to the risk so personally I wouldn't be able to give his views equal weight to mine.

ragged Sat 16-May-20 08:58:06

He needs to pull up his big boy pants and learn to become a decent teacher, then.

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