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Can my DDs father move in with us or is it too late now

(15 Posts)
Bumpandus Fri 15-May-20 20:33:15

So my daughter has a medical condition and is shielding basically I’ve had her two months + and her dad is missing her obviously. She went for a week last week and is now home but he is now back at work.

He asked if he could move in so he could see her I didn’t even answer as i havent heard of anyone doing this?? Any thoughts or experiences?

OP’s posts: |
Selfsettling3 Fri 15-May-20 20:37:09

It’s fine for him to move in but if he has to continue to go into work while she is shielding I wouldn’t allow it.

Bartlet Fri 15-May-20 20:38:22

So many questions.

Would it help you and her? Do you get on well with him? Would he be leaving the house to go to work or shield at home? Do you have the space for you all?

OneEpisode Fri 15-May-20 20:39:52

I have seen co-parenting exes join households for this. But that’s furloughed or WFH.
I have seen medical professionals who are at the heart of this move out from their families, not more in with someone who is shielding.

NoHardSell Fri 15-May-20 20:43:23

We've done this but noone is shielding. She's safer if he is wfh

NeedAUsernameGenerator Fri 15-May-20 20:45:27

Under the rules he can, yes.

NerdImmunity Fri 15-May-20 20:55:43

He could but as a shielded person everyone in the household needs to stay home. So if dad goes out to work then it's not a good idea as he's a potential contaiminate to your clean "bubble" at home around your shielded DD. If he WFH then I think it's fine but he should isolate for 14 days before he moves in just to be sure he isn't infected beforehand without knowing.

Bumpandus Fri 15-May-20 22:00:52

I should add his work is completely
On his own he comes into contact with no people.

Dd isn’t on the shielding list I’m just very protective with everything she has been through. Too long a story!

I’m probably just gonna have to agree to her going to his instead??

My question was more if it is allowed now or if he shouldve came in March. Not sure if you can move household now.

OP’s posts: |
OneEpisode Fri 15-May-20 22:10:55

He can move household now. You used the shielding word in the op though!

NoHardSell Fri 15-May-20 22:30:10

He can move now

Bumpandus Fri 15-May-20 23:26:43

We will have to have that conversation then. Suppose it depends on realistically how long this is going to go on for and the benefits for all of us...

OP’s posts: |
MargotSimpson Sat 16-May-20 07:44:06

Yes it is allowed but as he is going out to work you may as well just let her go between his house and your house.

KatySun Sat 16-May-20 08:53:26

Do you want him to move in? Have you ever lived together? Why did DD not go for two months and then for a week? If that week was fine, why is it not okay for say a weekend regularly around his work as he is working on his own? If you separated for presumably valid reasons, and she has already been to stay at his, him moving in seems a bit strange, to be honest.

mocktail Sat 16-May-20 08:57:02

If he lives near, it would make more sense for her to split her time between the two houses, which is allowed. Why would you let an ex move in unless you really have no other option? confused

LilyPond2 Sat 16-May-20 09:09:35

I am struggling to understand why you can't carry on with your usual childcare arrangements with your DD moving between houses. Is the issue that your DD would normally be going to school/nursery while staying with her dad and that he relies on outside childcare for the arrangement to work? How far do you live from each other?

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