C Section alone? WWYD

[blueberriesandblackcurrant]

Morning Mumsnetters,

Looking for some opinions please (and hopefully not to get flamed )

I am due to have an elective section in a Fortnight, DH, DC and I have been isolating for 10 Weeks. Our shopping is delivered at Home so we have only left the House for daily exercise and occasional midwife appointments.

My DM has also been isolating alone for the same amount of time, she has been food shopping once a week and has occasional exercise. She has just turned 60 is asthmatic and suffers from sporadic arthritis pains, but otherwise is in good health and working from Home.

Before Coronavirus the original plan was for DM to mind DC whilst I had the operation and DH was with Me.
As we've all been isolating and following the rules to a T, would you still allow this? I am terrified of putting both DM and DC at risk but also the idea of having a section alone worries Me massively.
The rules at my Hospital currently state that DH would only be allowed to be with Me during the operation and a few hours after, so likely a maximum 4 Hours.

So my question is, WWYD? Allows DM to come to our house and watch DC (5) or have the section alone so DH is home with DC?

[INeedNewShoes]

As long as your DM feels happy with the situation, I would go ahead and have her look after your DC.

DD and I are isolating together with my parents. I quarantined us for a fortnight before we joined them (still going for a daily walk) and both parties felt ok with this.

[Disneylover4321]

@blueberriesandblackcurrant

I wouldn't have a c section alone.

[blueberriesandblackcurrant]

Thanks for the reply @INeedNewShoes, she is fine with it and see's no major risk at all as we've all been so strict during this time, we haven't seen each other since beginning of March. It's Me that's having doubts and worrying about putting them both at risk

[INeedNewShoes]

I think you're bound to worry about all the what-ifs. Its hard not to at the best of times and I know that I would have struggled being pregnant in the current situation.

I honestly think you're ok to do this. Will your DM stay for a few days so that she can have some time with to meet the new baby? ... as it may be weeks/months before we have the freedom to just go to other people's houses when we want to.

[olivesandpecans]

I had my csection this week and my dh came with me and the parents in law who had isolated for 14 days had DC1 and 2. I was grateful of the support of my dh and the royal college of obstetricians has this option in their guidance. My dh was allowed to stay for 4 hours afterwards and we all benefited from that time together and the dc benefited from the fact their father could come home with photos and talk about their new sibling and reassure all was well. Best of luck with whatever you decide

[Bananasandorangesss]

I’ve had two elective sections including one recently, definitely would be better to have your DH there and if your DM is comfortable, have her look after your children. These rules are there for the general majority - not for situations like this. Absolutely nobody will blame you for bending them a little. I needed DH for the bit where they were giving the spinal and I also needed help afterwards as it’s difficult to reach baby with your stitches. Wish you a speedy recovery and congrats on your forthcoming new arrival

[THNG5]

I'm due in August but our plan has always been that my sil would be looking after the kids and dh with me. As it stands, the birthing partner is allowed at the birth and a few hours after in recovery. If he is not present at the birth, I imagine that means he wouldn't see the baby until you go home and for me, the very very small risk of having someone look after my kids is well worth it so he can see his baby at birth.

[Blobby10]

My 'D'H went all weird after being with me during my 2nd C section (emergency) so when it came to the third (had to have an elective) we decided it would be best for him to leave me when the needles started coming out (ie epidural stage) and just come back when it was all over. It wasn't a big deal - there were so many doctors and nurses around that he wasn't missed a great deal. Tbh I never understood the great desire to have your H at the birth - I found the midwives much more help and was so focussed on the job in hand that I didn't care if he was there or not!