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How long would you realistically comply with not visiting family?

(100 Posts)
Lizzy20201 Wed 13-May-20 00:32:33

I couldn’t give a flying fuck about pubs, shops, etc... not being open (aside from potentially losing my job!) but not being able to see my family is doing my head in. I am moving back in with parents come end of June as my tenancy is ending and right now isn’t a good time for house hunting. If I wasn’t moving back in with them, I realistically think if I couldn’t see them by July, I’d be tempted to go see them anyway. And I mean properly, not 2 metres away.

How long realistically until people will make their own judgment (ie, if no one is at risk) and go and see family? Or friends?

I haven’t broken lockdown rules to date and don’t plan too, I’m just wondering what people’s ‘breaking point’ will be.

This is why I don’t believe the doom-mongering “this is the new normal of Zoom calls and not seeing family til 2021” as I believe at some point people’s wish to socialise will kick in and enough will be enough. Long term, I don’t think social distancing past in public places will be reasonably obeyed with. Ie, we could have 2m distance in restaurants and shops to respect the vulnerable, but in private I believe people will make their own calls.


Also, I understand if you are shielding this may impact you more heavily. This is why I hope a vaccine is found sooner rather than later so it doesn’t come to this.

OP’s posts: |
PhoneLock Wed 13-May-20 00:33:59

I think I would be guided by what my family want.

Insideout99 Wed 13-May-20 00:34:44

I saw my family and OH family twice weekly so it's a big miss. We will go as long as realistically needed. I'm thinking up to a year potentially

Lizzy20201 Wed 13-May-20 00:35:37

PhoneLock- that sounds reasonable. I am lucky my family are all fairly healthy, I’m the one considered most vulnerable I think. But I’ve had to work since the beginning (temp job in supermarket) so I think by now I’m desensitised to it as I’ve been out everyday

OP’s posts: |
Peppafrig Wed 13-May-20 00:37:43

Until it's safe to do so.

onedayinthefuture Wed 13-May-20 00:39:56

I miss my family so much but we are respecting the lockdown rules. Even though I could visit for a chat on the driveway, it's just too alien for us. I'm used to just walking into my parents house with the grandkids. The thought of being 2 metres apart is just not natural and we don't really do FaceTime calls because it's an extremely poor substitute. I can't believe this is happening. It's evil of the government to expect people to go back to work and for small children to start back to school in June, but no plans for basic human rights.

Lizzy20201 Wed 13-May-20 00:42:37

I have FaceTimed at first, but it’s not the same. I do it more for their benefit now. Friends I’ve given up phoning too much as there’s not much to say past, “I did the garden again.” grin

OP’s posts: |
MsMarple Wed 13-May-20 00:45:59

I haven't broken the lockdown either - only dropped things to elderly relatives doorways and said hello from a distance, and not seen others at all - but I agree it's the thing I hate the most.

I've been happy to abide by it so far, but the idea that the kids could be sent back to school soon to mill around with goodness knows how many other kids, but they aren't able to hug their grandad now when they haven't seen anyone else for weeks, is really crazy.

If I do send them back, obviously they will immediately become more risky. I wish they'd tried the family/social bubble idea first, before thinking about reopening classrooms.

skipchuck Wed 13-May-20 02:13:48

I'd be quite comfortable not seeing my family/DH's family for another year or two, tbh.

Bluewarbler27 Wed 13-May-20 02:47:06

I’ll see them from 2m away until we’re told it’s ok. I don’t need to hug or touch them if it could potentially make them sick.

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 13-May-20 02:53:20

My dad's vulnerable. Imagine how you'd feel if you gave it to them. I'm still working as well.

walkingchuckydoll Wed 13-May-20 02:57:54

One of my my elderly neighbours kept seeing her healthy daughter throughout. Her daughter still gave her coronavirus and my neighbour is on a ventilator the past few weeks. She might not survive. The daughter may have killed her mother.... I couldn't live with that. I'd rather not see people then and wait for the vaccine.

MarriedToABellend Wed 13-May-20 02:58:08

Sticking with it buts it's been tough.

IvinghoeBeacon Wed 13-May-20 03:03:06

“ Until it's safe to do so.”

What does that mean?

XDownwiththissortofthingX Wed 13-May-20 03:03:25

Couldn't care less if I never clapped eyes on my family again in my life.

The inside of the pub on the other hand....

IvinghoeBeacon Wed 13-May-20 03:05:39

I don’t know OP. I am very close to sliding into PND due mostly to giving birth during lockdown. At what point do I and my children become classed as vulnerable and in need of support as a result? Many on here would say I’m a feeble whiner and the risks are too great.

LilacTree1 Wed 13-May-20 03:43:45

Ivinghoe I’d think anyone would agree you need support.

I don’t think the government will ever say “you’re allowed to see people in their homes” so I’d suggest not waiting.

Topseyt Wed 13-May-20 04:13:47

I live several hours drive from my elderly parents. They are shielding. So far we've adhered to it, but my tipping point very nearly came when my mother was rushed to hospital in acute pain leaving my Dad (who is the shielding one and highly vulnerable) distraught and alone at home. Fortunately she was only gone a few hours and was home again by the evening. It wasn't Covid 19 related.

It seemed to me that it was a lose, lose situation. If I visited them and took the virus (or any other) in with me then that would be unforgivable. If I didn't go and visit them and they didn't make it through lockdown then I wouldn't easily forgive myself for that either. Fortunately, that wasn't the way it went, although it looked possible at the time.

IDontDrinkTea Wed 13-May-20 04:23:28

I’ve reached my breaking point. I’m frontline nhs. DH has also been working full time. We have no childcare as all the nurseries here are closed and all the childminders are fully booked. I have a very clingy one year old who doesn’t sleep at the best of times, but because we have no childcare I’ve been working nights and staying awake afterwards to look after dd. I’m so tired. There’s no way I can continue doing this all year. If I could find a childminder who had space, I’d send dd there but I can’t. So I’ve rung my mum in tears as honestly I’m so tired it’s breaking me. She’s going to come over tomorrow so I can actually go to bed. She’s not from an at risk group, so personally I think it’s less risky than sending dd to nursery.

I’m sure I’m going to get flamed for this but I honestly don’t see I have a choice.

FromEden Wed 13-May-20 04:49:09

Whenever Trump lifts the Eu travel restrictions. Until then we are stuck here as we won't gain entry again with visas and not green cards. And probably more realistically, whenever there isn't a chance of getting stuck there if the ban is reinstated when we are visiting. So whenever this is all over I suppose, however long that takes sad

If I lived in the same country as my parents I would visit and chat from a distance. I've done it here with friends on occasion

polkadotpixie Wed 13-May-20 05:48:11

1st June. If kids are going back to school then I'm seeing my Mum

She's normally my childcare and it's incredibly difficult to juggle without her as DH & I have been working throughout lockdown (I'm NHS and he's self employed in an outside job)

His business is suffering because he can only work 4 days instead of 6 and I'm running out of annual leave. Childminders are already allowed to reopen so we've discussed it and agreed he will go back then. It'll have been 10 weeks by that point

whatswithtodaytoday Wed 13-May-20 05:54:36

When it's safe. My mum won't want to see us anyway, she doesn't want to get it any more than I want to give it to her. They're over 70 and live an hour away, so can't just pop over - if they were closer I would probably go and see them from a distance.

My MIL says she wants to come and see us through the window. I think it'll upset her more than if she just stays away. She's over 70 and has underlying health conditions.

SuperMumTum Wed 13-May-20 06:36:41

I don't want to pass the virus to my dad who has a heart condition, my brother who is having chemo or my 91 year old grandma so I'll stay away as long as i need to. I'm desperate for an accurate antibody test because I think I had it a few weeks ago but in the mean time I'm still working in the community so I'm not going to see my family. They can live without seeing me for a few more months I am sure.

IvinghoeBeacon Wed 13-May-20 06:43:25

LilacTree1 I think there are plenty on here who would see many women with PND as a small price to pay to “beat the virus”

IvinghoeBeacon Wed 13-May-20 06:43:43

What does “when it’s safe” actually mean?

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