Sorry for another thread like this.
Apart from the first week or so of lockdown and the couple of weeks leading up to it when admittedly I was a bit of a mess, I've been pretty much ok. Worried but muddling through. We're doing ok, DH's job is secure. We've been a bit bored and concerned for the future but it's been ok. Manageable.
Today it's hit me like a ton of bricks and I feel like screaming. I've accepted from the get-go that lockdown may be months long but after the announcement yesterday (garbled and confused as it was) it's obvious that there will be some form of it for months still to come. And today with the talk of there possibly never being a vaccine - again I always sort of accepted that might be the case but to hear the government acknowledge as much was very hard.
Someone I know died on Saturday, he was only in his 30s with no underlying health conditions. His wife was unable to be with him at the end. They have two young daughters. I can't stop thinking about how she must be feeling.
I know there are people worse off than me and I know we're all going through our own version of this awfulness. I hate feeling so woe is me, especially as I've kept it at bay so far. It just feels as if this is neverending. If there's no vaccine, it will be, in many ways. It's strange that lots of people I've spoken to have said the same has happened to them today - they feel hopeless and are completely done with it all.
Sorry for the moan.
if you've hit your own wall.
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Covid
Today I've hit a wall
Joan0fSarc · 11/05/2020 20:57
Such a shock when someone you know who is young and healthy dies 
sorry to hear this. I also feel sad today. Pretty much muddled through this whole time, but today I went to school (teacher) and the kids that were there were not interested in learning (they are probably fed up too) on top of that a few or them were being really rude about keeping 2 metres apart when asked. It makes me wonder how on earth this will all work and it makes me sad to think my days in the classroom will be like this for a long time to come. I just feel flat and sad and miss my family and friends.
Wall hit here today too, I cried buckets and couldn’t explain why.
I am just so bloody lonely I think and the monotony is getting to me. On mat leave and adore my little person but I miss my family so much and there is no end in sight for it (they aren’t local so can’t meet in a park).
DH is WFH permanently (did so pre pandemic) but has to work securely so is locked in his office for 9hr shifts. I get about 1hr with him daily. He does loads around the house so no complaints there-but I just never see him as I co-sleep with baby and our awake hours don’t coincide well with his work shifts
Sorry to hear that someone you knew passed it’s heartbreaking. Someone I went to school with posted about her dad being in hospital with covid, within days he passed - her posts made me cry. I didn’t really speak to her or know her dad, but it’s so tragic, abrupt, and shocking and I can’t imagine how she feels.
Personally after reading the recent government guidance, I reckon we’ll have some form restrictions in winter to prevent hospitals from being overwhelmed during flu season. So it sucks to think we may have to social distance and stay away from friends/family even in January. 2020 is a write off.
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