Returning from mat leave in lockdown

[yesman]

Hi

I am planning to return to work (front line) in the coming weeks. My baby will be around 8 months old. Currently he cries hysterically if anyone other than his immediate family come close.

How on earth can I prepare him to be away from me for 12 hours a day?
What are people in similar positions doing?
He was so sociable pre lockdown.
I know that overall he will be fine as he has a good primary attachment but this is going to be horrible.

[Disneylover4321]

It might not be much help but I'm in a similar situation and here is my thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3901920-Should-I-go-back-to-work

[inthethickofit19]

I Just 'returned' although wfh. Dh lookafter him during my work hours.

Are you sending your 8 mo into nursery? Any chance of extending mat leave? I take it you can't settle him into nursery (as in take him in and stay with him a few times?)

[yesman]

Plan was for family to look after DS. They are young grandparents and in good health. We are exploring nurseries/ CMs that are open for key workers.

I suppose I could extend mat leave but that will stretch us finanically but doable as living costs currently low.
I have struggled with guilt of not working in this time and know that some of my colleagues are burnt out (healthcare). However the guilt that my baby is completely terrified of strangers is taking over.

I just wondered if anyone has any ideas if there's anything at all we could be doing to help prepare our babies for this shock. I think it goes beyond normal settling in at nursery because many of them have literally spent no time with anyone except parents and siblings.

[lemonjam]

I’m going back in three weeks and dreading it. Am lucky as only working weekends so dh will have the baby (10 months) but still feel awful, he won’t take a bottle and doesn’t much like it if I go for a shower, let alone a 12 hour shift! I work in social care so will be a bit unsettling being out and more ‘at risk’ after being in a bubble all this time too.

[lemonjam]

Sorry no helpful tips in there!
If you are looking at nurseries they should still be doing settling in days?
I am trying to convince my baby he loves his bunny so he has a comfort object while I’m gone although tbh it’s not really working!

[inthethickofit19]

Sorry I missed your update. My eldest only ever stayed with dh or I and he settled into nursery fine. He used to cry when we left and collected him but he was fine after a few sessions otherwise. The crying during drop off did last a few months but whenever I peaked through window he was fine the second I was out the door! It does take them a good couple of months to get used to it all but honestly he absolutely flourished. We noticed such a developmental difference in him too. Babies definitely pick up on parent anxiety so do keep that in mind x