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Is this allowed?

(12 Posts)
LevoMental Sun 10-May-20 20:36:17

Looking for a bit of clarity and outside opinions. I don't want to say too much out of respect for other people involved, but will try to be as clear as possible.

I am a keyworker in healthcare - not frontline NHS or care, but essential. My boyfriend has been staying at and working from my home during lockdown so that my child can remain in the house instead of going to school.

My boyfriend's family situation is about to change quite dramatically and he will no longer be able to care for my son and may have to return home to isolate quite soon. It is an upsetting and unavoidable situation for everyone involved.

My options are;

Unpaid time off work to be at home with DC. I cannot afford this but I'm fairly certain I can't be furloughed.

Alter my working hours so that I can send DC to "school" and still be able to do pick-up/drop off. I think my manager would support this. "School" is a mix of children from 0-14 and obviously I'm concerned about DC mixing and posing more risk.

Send DC to his grandparents. We would isolate for seven days before travelling (50 miles) and he would need to stay there for the forseeable until restrictions change. GPs are on board with this but I worry about the risk to them and I'm not sure it's even permitted under the current rules (Scotland).

What would you do?

This is not a decision I am taking lightly and I wouldn't even be considering travel at all if it wasn't quite a desparate situation we are faced with. It goes without saying that DC would be "handed over" with minimal contact between myself and GPs. I plan to stay inside the car, DC is old enough to get himself out and take bag etc.

What would you do?

OP’s posts: |
RhymingRabbit3 Sun 10-May-20 20:38:23

I would send them to school. The risk to children is tiny.

Cornettoninja Sun 10-May-20 20:48:37

I don’t envy your situation but I think I would go for the school option.

I think destroying yourself financially on purpose right now is a daft thing to do unless It’s an absolute last resort. I’m sure your parents would be fine looking after your DS but this is such a weird time I would really worry about the impact on his mental health, not just being parted from you and your partner but his home environment and any sense of normality.

I’m sending my dd to a childminder at the moment (non-frontline NHS) and although she’s bored it’s absolutely fine. She’s only 4 and not started proper school yet so I didn’t ever really consider it as an option. You could sound out your local childminders and see if they’re prepared to look after your ds to minimise the amount of people he comes into contact with. I’m presuming he’s older but childminders can and do take older kids.

LevoMental Sun 10-May-20 21:04:30


We use a childminder for afterschool care but she isn't able to have him during the day and I don't think I could afford to send him full time. I'm currently paying a retainer for his space.

He is very close to his grandparents and it wouldn't be an unfamiliar setting for him, certainly less so than a new childcare setting with people he doesn't know.

OP’s posts: |
CMOTDibbler Sun 10-May-20 21:12:11

I know someone in Scotland who is a keyworker (as is her dh) and they have been sending their child to his grandparents for 2 weeks at a time which has been working really well for them. Unless your parents have risk factors, it would seem the best thing for your ds, though hard for you to not see him for extended periods.

Smellbellina Sun 10-May-20 21:13:28


LevoMental Sun 10-May-20 21:30:07

I know someone in Scotland who is a keyworker (as is her dh) and they have been sending their child to his grandparents for 2 weeks at a time

I do think this is the best option. If we isolate first then I think the risk to them is minimal, but I'm concerned that it's not allowed, and for good reason.

I've read that it's fine to move elsewhere temporarily to escape tension at home, I'm not sure if this can be considered similar given that there is the option of childcare here and that nobody is in any danger.

OP’s posts: |
mrsmummy111 Sun 10-May-20 21:35:55

I think in this situation you need to interpret the rules in the most sensible and safest way for you, your DC and your GPS. If the most sensible option is to send him to GPs so that you (a keyworker) can carry out your job properly and without fear of spreading anything any further that necessary, then I don't think it's unreasonable to do so.
The rules are not black and white and we all need to use a bit of common sense when deciding what to do in individual situations.
If your only concern is whether or not you will be permitted to do this then I don't think it is specifically or categorically "not allowed", as long as you take reasonable precautions for everyone involved.

Spied Sun 10-May-20 21:42:29

Well, I think is pretty obvious from your first post what you are going to do.

I'd be using the school option though.

He may be close to Grandparents but what if he doesn't settle? What if Grandparents find the situation difficult over a prolonged period? What if you spend your time worrying about him? I'm presuming they also have to go out for food and supplies?

INeedNewShoes Sun 10-May-20 21:43:32

For a mix of long boring reasons, my parents (early 70s) decided to isolate together. I tried to mitigate the risks of us bringing the virus to them by quarantining ourselves for 14 days prior to combining households. I looked into it carefully at the time and came to the conclusion that where children are involved, 7 days quarantine isn’t really sufficient.

INeedNewShoes Sun 10-May-20 21:51:38

Oops sorry, my post doesn't make sense. I meant 'my parents and I'.

LevoMental Sun 10-May-20 22:09:07

Well, I think is pretty obvious from your first post what you are going to do.

Under normal circumstances I'd send him to GPs without hesitation. They are both under 60 and fit and well, though my dad has asthma which is well controlled.

I've not decided what I'm going to do, which is why I asked on here for opinions but my first choice if all risks were removed would be GPs.

INeed I could isolate for 14 days if I was able to use annual leave, I think. DS and DP haven't had any contact with other people, it's only me who does when I'm working or shopping.

Has anyone used the keyworker childcare? Is it ok?

OP’s posts: |

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