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Anyone’s parents babysitting whilst you work?

(72 Posts)
xAJMx Sun 10-May-20 20:29:27

Hi I’ve been forced to take Unpaid parental leave as I cannot work from home with a 3year old and they are refusing to furlough me

My son is normally with my mum one day a week and my partners another day and two days at nursery

Partner is key worker

But I know people who have still been using grandparents to babysit so they can work? Is anyone else doing this? I feel wrong for even considering it?

OP’s posts: |
LST Sun 10-May-20 20:31:30

Not yet as I am able to currently work from home with mine (6 & 8). But I will if I have to got back into the office or if they have to go back to school soon. My mum will do the drops offs and pick ups.

Ponoka7 Sun 10-May-20 20:34:15

It was made clear that grandparents can still provide childcare if necessary. It's only if they are vulnerable that you have to think carefully about it.

I haven't stopped providing childcare throughout this. We aren't seeing transmissions from children.

Lonelymum11 Sun 10-May-20 20:36:07

We moved in with ILs when nursery closures where announced so that DH and I could still wfh while they helped with 10 month old DD

xAJMx Sun 10-May-20 20:36:13

How am I not aware of this? I swear I’ve googled this so many times lol 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Is there any guidelines on this online?

Thanks for your responses

OP’s posts: |
GenderApostate19 Sun 10-May-20 20:36:18

As soon as my DD ( teacher) is back at work, I’ll be going to her house to take care of my 9 month old Grandson. I can’t wait.

MeadowHay Sun 10-May-20 20:37:06

Yes I have been throughout, as I also cannot WFH with my DC who is nearly 2. She used to be at nursery 3 days a week and with grandparent one day a week. She has temporarily had to move to a different nursery as her usual one completely closed,which we just did 2 days a week as worried it would be hard on her to settle, so grandparent had been having her 2 days a week. I work 4 days a week. My only other option would have been unpaid leave which we couldn't afford and would also put my job security at risk. (DH is a newly-qualified keyworker hence access to nursery provision.) Grandparent is under 60 and initially was not high risk although the list seems to have been updated and now they are, although not shielding. But they are happy to continue as they live in a house with a front line NHS worker who themself is also high risk.

KingaRoo Sun 10-May-20 20:38:53

I thought you're not meant to mix households so how is this OK?

LST Sun 10-May-20 20:41:18

@Kingaroo because what is the alternative? No job? Money?

Lonelymum11 Sun 10-May-20 20:42:38

I thought you're not meant to mix households so how is this OK?

You were allowed to mix for the duration of the lockdown e.g. couples who don't live together moving in for the duration was specifically mentioned by a cabinet minister. So we moved in with ILs and on this basis think it was fine.

Disneylover4321 Sun 10-May-20 20:42:41

Because people have to so that they can feed their family and put food on the table.

Disneylover4321 Sun 10-May-20 20:45:40



I go back from MAT leave tomorrow. My DH works from home Monday-Wednesday but on Thursday and Friday he has to go into work. Therefore my friend may have to have my 2 DC on those 2 days.

Don't worry about other peoples opinions, if you have to do it to feed your family then you have to do it, end off.

People just shouldn't stick their noses into other peoples business.

EachDubh Sun 10-May-20 20:46:45

When I am in school my parent looks after my kids, they are healthy but over 70.

LST Sun 10-May-20 20:49:22

@Disneylover we are ok at present because I can work from home. But if I have to return to the office or the children need to go back to school I will need help from my mum. No two ways about it really. Its either that or lose income or possibly my job!

I will do what is best for my family

LST Sun 10-May-20 20:50:39

@Disneylover also, good luck on your return to work

Disneylover4321 Sun 10-May-20 20:53:09


Same, I will do what is best for my family.

Sorry if my previous reply came across as rude.

Disneylover4321 Sun 10-May-20 20:54:53


Awww, thank you.
I have just been emailed my schedule for my first day back and it's bloody hectic. I haven't been in for 10.5 months. Talk about throwing me back in at the deep end.

Bakerofcakes Sun 10-May-20 20:59:27

We have been providing childcare for our grandchildren. My daughter is nhs admin, and was refused furlough, son in law in engineering working on parts for ventilators. Neither can afford to take unpaid leave. The children are 15 and 9 and were left home alone for the first three weeks. This was not sustainable long term so the youngest comes to us mon to fri. The 15 year old comes when she gets fed up of being home alone. Neither of us are in a high risk category and if I hadn’t taken early retirement last year I would have been at work anyway, so I considered the risk minimal compared to leaving the children home alone long term.

LST Sun 10-May-20 21:02:51

@Disneylover going back to work after mat leave is hard enough under normal circumstances! I hope they go easy on you!

Disneylover4321 Sun 10-May-20 21:05:48


Haha! Your joking right. I'm in charge of network planning, scheduling and operations for a major UK airline and the person who has been covering my role has made loads of horrendous and poorly thought out decisions which I now have to try and fix. I'm fu***ng fuming tbh.

Lemonpink88 Sun 10-May-20 21:15:19

My mum has been providing child care yes. She is under 70. Deemed it safer than nursery where he would have more contact with others.

GameSetMatch Sun 10-May-20 21:16:37

Not me but I noticed the neighbours across the road have had all three of their grandchildren all from different households everyday since lockdown. Some people have no choice I guess.

Disneylover4321 Sun 10-May-20 21:16:42


You need to make the best choice for your family and you have.

Disneylover4321 Sun 10-May-20 21:17:05


Some people do have no choice.

Alicemovedtothecity Sun 10-May-20 21:19:42

@xAJMx I use grandparent for my child While I am at work. Have done since the schools closed, had no choice as need to work.

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