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Anyone else just lost motivation now ?

(109 Posts)
Noeuf Sun 03-May-20 12:29:36

I've just given up. Still in pyjamas, gave up yesterday. Dh is still finding stuff to do and is annoyed at me.

Boys are struggling with online school; I've realised one of them is just lost now - no plan for his health treatment, so behind already with school. I'm sure the others will be ok when this is lifted.

Done all the jobs with the novelty of free time.

Have no enthusiasm to write that book, start yoga, etc.

I know what works but it all seems pointless. Can't see my family, realised people I thought were friends haven't contacted me to check in, starting to feel quite depressed at life generally.

OP’s posts: |
Girlymom2 Sun 03-May-20 12:31:46

No advice or reassurance but I’m right there with you OP, lost all motivation, kids desperate to socialise again, absolutly fed up x

Bluewavescrashing Sun 03-May-20 12:35:00

Be kind to yourself--there's no requirement to learn a new language or start lentil weaving. Do what makes you feel better.

Noeuf Sun 03-May-20 12:35:11

Thank you.

My dc are missing their friends too.

I know it's not forever but it's making me question everything.

I know I could be teaching them a language, or doing extra work or playing games. I just feel bleak.

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Zofloramummy Sun 03-May-20 12:44:54

I think a lot of people are hitting the wall now. The lack of transparency over the future plan to end lockdown isn’t helping. I’m mentally gearing up for being in lockdown until the end of May. I think seeing it as chunks of time helps.

Try to get dressed and do one nice thing for yourself today, read a book, paint your nails, go for a walk, have a long bath, watch movies with the kids and build some lego. Just something that brings you some joy.

This will pass, it’s just bloody hard right now and we all can’t be happy Pollyanna’s all the time, you are not alone. Oh and stay off fb as the perfect people are loving this showing off their amazing superhero skills.

Noeuf Sun 03-May-20 12:48:14

Hitting a wall is a good way of describing it.

I just feel like it's made me question everything - who my friends are, what I've achieved, how behind my son is, all that.

Usually this is masked by seeing my family and a few friends, work and popping out to the cinema or things.

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Thighmageddon Sun 03-May-20 12:53:17

I lost motivation two weeks ago but that's because I'd had two weeks off on annual leave before the lockdown was put in place.

I've been home for eight weeks now and spend my days in my pyjamas watching tv now.

All motivation has left the building.

Littlemiss74 Sun 03-May-20 12:55:35

Feeling exactly the same and fed up with having pmt for a week and still not appeared. Think I would feel ok if it wasn’t for that as it makes me tired, achey and really irritable with everyone, my poor family! I’m sure it’s more noticeable too as I have nowhere to go and the days feel endless.

Really struggling to motivate myself to do anything despite having a whole house to tidy and clean!

DD wants to make a cake and I just can’t be bothered but will feel such a bad mum if I don’t so will have to muster some energy.

If we feel like this now how are we going to manage pretty much another month? Trying to be positive but it’s hardgoing.

Noeuf Sun 03-May-20 12:56:29

I'm not even watching tv.

I know I'm going to look back and hate myself for not being pro active and educating the kids/writing/doing something amazing.

OP’s posts: |
Zofloramummy Sun 03-May-20 12:57:07

There is so much more that is important for a child than academic results. Becoming a good person, making the right choices, becoming independent in life skills, celebrating what he is able to do well or excels at that isn’t academic.

There are so many different options after school with apprenticeship training. Some of the loveliest teenagers I’ve worked with weren’t the over achievers, they have gone on to train to become mechanics, electricians, plumbers, and builders. All worthwhile and reasonably paid careers. None of which require an A*.

My daughter struggles with reading which as an avid bookworm I find really difficult but she is excellent at drawing and constructing things. I praise what she can do and try not to lose my shit over the stuff she struggles with. It isn’t easy though.

Fleetheart Sun 03-May-20 12:57:44

I’m struggling to get round to anything too. Room half painted, plenty of tidying to do. I’m spending today reading mumsnet and playing scrabble. Kids at their dads and my
motivation is somewhere unknown .

Noeuf Sun 03-May-20 12:57:48

DD wants to make a cake and I just can’t be bothered but will feel such a bad mum if I don’t so will have to muster some energy.

Yup, it's like too much effort and what's the point combined. Mine have made a few cake mixes because I just cba. Usually I'm really into baking.

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Littlemiss74 Sun 03-May-20 12:59:13

Ah yes cake mixes are a good idea - will get some of those in next shop!

Zofloramummy Sun 03-May-20 12:59:34

So far I have started a cross stitch, attempted to grow some seeds and played a lot of Roblox with dd. I think sometimes we set our bar too high. You’re all alive, healthy and spending time together. Don’t make it so stressful about what you think you should be doing. You’re doing enough as it is.

Bluewavescrashing Sun 03-May-20 13:00:13

If you have some plain biscuits and decorating bits you could just ice some biscuits and shove sweets on them. My DCs love doing that!

Littlemiss74 Sun 03-May-20 13:00:22

Also I need to do some exercise as I’m sure that would help with everything. But again I can’t find the energy or motivation.

Noeuf Sun 03-May-20 13:00:23

Trouble is, he lost all that early on (*zoflora*) when he became ill. We were really proud of him for his other abilities and his quirks but he has severe issues now so being so behind is just on top of everything else. I appreciate that's fairly specific though, and generally I agree with everything you've said.

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Noeuf Sun 03-May-20 13:02:32

I'm just worried that I'm usually good at soldiering on. I've spent the last couple of years in quite difficult circumstances finding the fun in stuff, accepting my 'lot' and making the most of it.

That's just fine now - literally want to sleep until this is over.

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Zofloramummy Sun 03-May-20 13:02:49

Ah I’m sorry to hear that Noeuf, that’s so difficult. flowers

Butterymuffin Sun 03-May-20 13:04:20

Same here in that I've lost all motivation to do anything. Am just about WFH though it's all piled up which is putting me off doing it even more, and I have no desire to do anything nice or improving. Spending a lot of the day surfing aimlessly in my PJs.

Noeuf Sun 03-May-20 13:05:57

Yes sorry zoflora I should have put that in the op. Partly I imagine that I've spent two years trying to work with people to get him better and just as things were moving this happens.

But generally I've also lost the motivation I seemed to have last week.

OP’s posts: |
Noeuf Sun 03-May-20 13:08:41

Do you think it's the lack of a plan as a pp suggested?
Or too much thinking time? I've totally started evaluating everything and coming to the conclusion my life is a bit pointless - I won't ever achieve what I thought I might as a teen. I think being busy or distracted helps those thoughts to stay normal (I'm sure everyone has them).

I just can't face getting up, going for a boring walk, making food, watching tv - it's like ground hog day grin

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CorbynsComrade Sun 03-May-20 13:25:58

I have bipolar and my mental health is absolutely tanking sad

moolady1977 Sun 03-May-20 13:29:48

I feel like my get up and go has got up and gone , just no motivation to do anything even watching Netflix is a can't be bothered and conversation with my oh is really getting to me and I want to tell him to shut up .

Petals23 Sun 03-May-20 13:48:35

I'm living alone. I haven't worked or seen anyone I know in 7 weeks. I've had anxiety and had it under control at the beginning of this year. Now it's flared up again and I'm also beginning to feel depressed. Have cried every day for the past week which isn't normal for me. Really missing my parents and boyfriend. He's an hour away but has been meeting friends so it is easier for him, but makes it harder for me.

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