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Anyone missing just being on their own?

(91 Posts)
MilkTrayLimeBarrel Sat 02-May-20 10:32:27

Just that really. Before lockdown I had my own routine for doing things and having the house how I like. I am beginning to find DH's habits really infuriating. Examples are:

- making endless cups of tea and coffee, always with a new teaspoon which he leaves on my clean tea towel
- never ever washes up an empty milk bottle - just leaves it until I have to do it!
- stands behind me when I am on my PC/tablet and comments on what I am looking at
- throws all his shoes, clothes and jackets either onto the floor or into the bottom of the wardrobe
- never cleans his bathroom unless I nag and nag
- won't clean his desktop (glass) even though I leave the spray and cloth on it and ask him to do it

I know these are small problems in the way of things, but they all just make me crosser and crosser. I NEED time on my own!

OP’s posts: |
pocketem Sat 02-May-20 10:36:07

never cleans his bathroom

You have a bathroom each 😲. Get you!

GreyGardens88 Sat 02-May-20 10:41:00

God yes I was thinking this earlier. I get zero alone time apart from 10 minutes each day when DP has his shower. I need alone time!! I want to pick my feet, eat like a pig without anyone judging me, have a wank. I thrive on alone time and this is the hardest part of this whole situation.

Hoppinggreen Sat 02-May-20 10:44:50

Oh God yes
I used to WFH and DH worked in a city, DC at school 8.30 to 4 so it was mostly just me and the dog here and now there are people in my house all the time!
Luckily it’s big enough for us all to avoid eachother if necessary but I really wish they would all just go out somewhere. I can take the dog out on my own for a walk or go to the supermarket once a week but I can’t be home alone

Notso Sat 02-May-20 10:55:26

Yes. I'm used to loads of alone time.
While DH was furloughed I was able to get a few hours here and there to myself but now he's back in work (which I am grateful for) so that's stopped.

Al1Langdownthecleghole Sat 02-May-20 10:55:48

Oh yes. I love my family to bits but I wish they could go out & leave me alone occasionally. Failing that, just being quiet would be a bonus.

Duckingell Sat 02-May-20 12:10:11

I hear you.

DH worked away often. I liked it.

DS was away at Uni.

Now they're both home. All bloody day.

I find I'm cooking more as I can't just prep myself a meal without offering them something.

Can't just go and have a lazy TV afternoon without someone wanting to talk to me..

I know I should be happy to have my family with me, and some people are struggling being all alone but aaargh!

BlingLoving Sat 02-May-20 12:21:40

This is my single biggest issue. And not because there's more work or cleaning or whatever as DH is brilliant (we were due to clean today but instead he did it all yesterday while I was working). But I just feel peopled out. I just want to be left alone. As I type, DD is calling for me and coming up the stairs to find me). I am craving a few hours with no one around, no one asking me questions, no expectations. Complete freedom. As soon as lockdown is eased I'll be taking myself off for a full day to just wander aimlessly. I'll probably sit in a park for a while, take a book to a coffee shop and perhaps do some aimless browsing then go to the gym. Without telling anyone where I am and with no expectation that I have to do anything for anyone else. At all.

boomchikawowwow Sat 02-May-20 12:25:24

I'm really struggling with being around people all the time. I had a routine where I'd get on with stuff when the DC were at school and DP was at work. I'd get all cleaned and tided through then I'd get on with what I needed to do like read while it's quiet or just enjoy having the house clean, tidy and quiet for a little time.
Now I've got constant dishes to wash, DP drinks copious amounts of tea, doesn't take his shoes off, leaves wet towels on the floor, leaves his dirty clothes on the floor, the lounge is now his office and there is his shit all over the place. And don't get me started on the DC.

And breathe!!!!

Hairwizard Sat 02-May-20 12:31:42

Oh fuck yes!!
At least before eldest was in school and dd at nursery 2 days and so i at least had couple days where i got some time once twins were napping.
My house is a pigsty. Feel like a fucking hamster on a wheel chasing myself round and round with tidying and cleaning. And the cooking. Omfg. I need a another fridge freezer so i can batch cook stuff and have somewhere to put it. I dont mind cooking but not all fucking day!!
I get no time to myself until they go to bed. Which is even less if they dont stay in bed/'asleep.

Orangeblossom78 Sat 02-May-20 12:37:46

You need a shed

ShoeJunkie Sat 02-May-20 12:40:34

Yes yes yes! I just want to be in the house, by myself in total silence.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel Sat 02-May-20 12:45:59

The thing is, he already has an Office which is so full of stuff he can't use it! He has now taken over a downstairs room with PC, laptop, papers everywhere and tea mugs left on the desk. He also has another laptop in the sitting room with accompanying earphones, tray thing to put it on, mouse, etc. These are all in addition to the garage (full of his stuff - I have one shelf!), the carport which is again full of bits of wood, and 'things' in plastic crates, AND he has a lock-up a few miles away (which he obviously can't go to at the moment) but is also full! How can one man have so much stuff???

OP’s posts: |
Scottishgirl85 Sat 02-May-20 12:47:33

I miss my lovely 30min drive to work, through beautiful countryside, on my own after dropping kids off, listening to radio. Utter bliss.

chunkyrun Sat 02-May-20 12:49:33

Yess! I'm autistic and this is my stuff of nightmares. Usually have one day a week completely alone to work on my business. It's my favourite day of the week. Or I would take my son to activities like play centres ect where he can roam free while I neck coffee and read peacefully m

MilkTrayLimeBarrel Sat 02-May-20 12:51:18

I'm glad I'm not the only one!

OP’s posts: |
SilverOtter Sat 02-May-20 12:54:01

Oh most definitely yes! I feel like a tiger locked up in a chimpanzee house. Except, probably more grumpy🤣

pfrench Sat 02-May-20 12:55:13

The most treasure bit of my day is my drive to work.

I leave really early, so even if it takes 3 times as long as it should for any traffic reasons, it won't make me late. So, no stress. I have my podcasts and my coffee. Country roads, sun coming up, lovely view from the ridgeway. Get to work and have at least half an hour before anyone else arrives. It's lovely.

Then a full on day at work, then a stressful drive home where traffic will make me late for childcare, then child logistics until bedtime, then work until I need to go to bed.

I miss that tranquil first hour. I miss listening to my podcasts. We're taking it in turns to have a longer walk 'alone', with headphones etc, so I get to do this every other day or so, but it's not the same.

Seelowbrown Sat 02-May-20 14:17:03

@Scottishgirl85

Me too. 30 minute commute each way with Heart Dance blasting out. Love it and miss it!

As for time on my own. It’s the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with. I love my own company and space but can’t find any at home now. Child/dog/partner irritating me.

happypotamus Sat 02-May-20 15:00:12

Yes, this is by far the hardest thing for me. My coping strategies for life required there to be some time on my own in peace and quiet. I really miss this. The 4 of us in the house together is TOO MANY PEOPLE. I work (still) in a very peopley job that means spending 13hrs a day with people talking to people, and I need the time with no people to decompress. I want to be able to watch tv and listen to music, which I used to do when DH was at work and DC at school.

purplepandas Sat 02-May-20 15:05:01

Oh yes, I am so done with people. It's the expectations, constant talk and just never being left alone. Always me, never DH and h has the luxury of leaving the house most days for work. I am working at home (zoom/skype etc) and also parenting/schooling. I just want to be left alone FFS. I don't even want to do the family quiz tonight as I am people ed out, I just can't do it but other want to.

purplepandas Sat 02-May-20 15:05:25

Sorry for typos....

KellyHall Sat 02-May-20 15:08:23

I haven't had time to myself for ages, I was looking forward to getting some when dd's nursery funding started on 1st April. The nursery closed the week before 🤦‍♀️
Have just started exercising every morning so I get to lock myself in the shower afterwards!

CornishYarg Sat 02-May-20 15:11:33

Oh God, yes. I've started staying up late as it's the only time I can get alone time.

Pertella Sat 02-May-20 15:20:34

So much yes. I just want to be able to sit alone for a couple of hours and recharge. I dont want to have to be doing something, like go for a walk, just to be on my own.

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