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To those who find this lockdown not much different to their normal lives

(150 Posts)
Sometimenever100 Fri 01-May-20 00:27:59

I’m asking because I’m curious- no judgements here! To those who say they find lockdown not much different to their normal lives (except DC being at home and aside from work arrangements) In normal times didn’t you even chat to friends, see family, go shopping (not food) enjoy a national trust or park, eat out, go for coffee, invite friends or other children over, visit friends where a longer drive was involved, or take your children anywhere other than local walks?
Again no judgements as everyone lives life differently, I am just so surprised that lots of people on other threads are saying lockdown is not really different to normal for them.

OP’s posts: |
PerkingFaintly Fri 01-May-20 00:52:20

I'm seeing very little difference.

I've no idea why it would even cross your mind to judge me (as it must have, for you to be stating that you won't...)

I'm disabled and live alone. I'm not well enough to leave the house most weeks, or hold long conversations or phone calls. I have my shopping delivered in normal times. I used to see my cleaner once a week, and the occasional delivery person. So that's the main difference I've noticed.

When your lockdown is over, I will still be living like this. I'll be very happy for the rest of you. But "lockdown" is unlikely to ever be over for me.

PerkingFaintly Fri 01-May-20 00:59:34

It's been really informative to see that other people find living like this very hard.

For years I've been blaming myself for being a wuss, for finding isolation and incapacity so difficult. There's always the pressure to be a Pollyanna and make the best of it, because, well, what else can I do?

Turns out it's genuinely difficult. And maybe I've been doing an OK job in challenging circumstances.

Or maybe I really am just a wuss.grin

missnevermind Fri 01-May-20 01:00:01

I am disabled but live with my DH and 3 kids at home. Usually DH is at work 6am till 5pm and the 2 youngest are in primary school they are picked up at 8 and dropped home before 4 every day.
I go nowhere except hospital appointments and my teenage son is agoraphobic and autistic so literally nothing has changed for either one of us.
The changes have been the children being home which we are enjoying and DH being home which we are not.
When all this is over and it all returns to normal absolutely nothing will have changed but my friends will be able to pop in for tea and a chat.

DDIJ Fri 01-May-20 01:01:18

didn’t you even chat to friends, see family, go shopping (not food) enjoy a national trust or park, eat out, go for coffee, invite friends or other children over, visit friends where a longer drive was involved, or take your children anywhere other than local walks?

I saw my parents but only out of obligation. The rest, no.

Custardcreamies101 Fri 01-May-20 01:03:46

What other people don’t seem to grasp is that not everyone has people to do things with. Not everyone has friends to go out for lunch with, to celebrate their birthday etc. Not everyone has close family or live nearby. Many might have family abroad and don’t see them after many years. Even if you do these things by yourself its not anything to be missed, it’s not a big deal.
I’m sure many people would love to miss seeing their friends and family but not everyone is lucky to have them.

PumpkinP Fri 01-May-20 01:03:58

The only thing that’s different for me is we don’t go places, but no I don’t have any friends , pretty much no family and the ones I do have I rarely see. I don’t have friends that come round and kids don’t meet friends outside of school. Like I said the only difference is we usually go out to museums, soft play, parks etc. Also no one looks after my children other than me. I don’t really go shopping other than food as I prefer to buy clothes online.

Lovely1a2b3c Fri 01-May-20 01:04:18

I have a medical condition, which forced me to move back in with my parents a few years ago. I used to have friends and a life and live hundreds of miles away from where I am now. Now I do live in a constant lockdown-like state.

In an average week I have medical appointments and apart from that I go for one walk each day with a family member! I cannot go into town or to the supermarket. I don't eat out or meet up with anyone. Anything that I need I buy online or ask family members to collect for me.

I spend time learning foreign languages, playing piano, on facebook/twitter, studying etc. I do really miss out on having a social life, dating, working; and miss the days of cocktails and nights out but in the same way that everyone is adjusting to lockdown, I had to adjust to this way of life!

Cue: judgement!

Sometimenever100 Fri 01-May-20 01:06:29

Thank you for your insights- really interesting how other live and yes sounds like you have been doing a good job in your challenging circumstances. This is my first post in a long long time (if ever!?) and I was just a bit nervous of posting as I have seen many OP’s get slammed confused. I just meant my question was out of interest rather than anything judgemental etc

OP’s posts: |
Lovely1a2b3c Fri 01-May-20 01:09:01

@PerkingFaintly; yes, turns out that anyone would find living like this difficult! And that there should be support in place for people who are struggling . . . who knew!

PumpkinP Fri 01-May-20 01:09:02

A lot of people don’t seem to realise not everyone has friends or family. I’ve always struggle making friends. Family is only my dad who I see maybe twice a year, and my sister who isn’t speaking to me (been over a month now) for some unknown reason.

helpwithbingeing Fri 01-May-20 01:13:16

I don’t have many friends unfortunately . I’ve had good friends via work and uni but struggle to maintain it .

I don’t drive, I can’t afford lessons never mind a car ... and I don’t know anyone who can drive who’d be jumping at going out for fun .

We live pretty rural so no parks, NT properties etc within easy access . Do have some good walks near us .

I’m a FT carer to my mum who has such complex MH issues that we don’t often go out sadly . Sometimes we manage a day trip, sometimes overnight but it requires a bit of planning . For about eighteen months I’ve been relatively stuck at home with her . It’s not easy at all .

Don’t see family all that often . Most too busy and we’re spread quite far apart !

The only difference now is that people want to help us - eg I’ve had phone calls from the GP, social work, housing officer, council, local volunteer, MH team - which is astonishing . I only wish they’d wanted to help years ago - and am very concerned that when things go back to normal we’ll be alone again . I am due to return to uni in January and if this carries on, I’m terrified as to what will happen to my mum if I go back .

LaureBerthaud Fri 01-May-20 01:13:16

really interesting how other live

Are you really so lacking in imagination that you needed it spelling out for you?

biglouis123 Fri 01-May-20 01:16:31

Like some other posters I am disabled and if I travel its a taxi door to door as I dont drive. I can look back on a rich lifetime of independent travel to places which its often difficult to go now - like Afghanistan, Iran and Syria - and know that I will probably never travel again.

I still manage to run an online business on several platforms so most of my day is dedicated to work. In some ways the lockdown has even made things better. There are no sales people, charity collectors or other callers to intrude on me.

The only thing that made any difference to me was the difficulty of getting online delivery in the past few weeks, Ive had online delivery from the same supermarket for 18 years. Fortunately an email to their CEO executive team solved all that and got me onto the priority list.

Being in retail I do worry about a downturn to the economy and people having less disposable income for the kinds of items I sell.

ClientQ Fri 01-May-20 01:17:56

Shopping yes, everything else not really
Work m-f FT so obviously that's different! But evenings and weekends I'm usually alone catching up on housework, cooking etc. Have a medical condition which wipes me out so I basically work and go to bed

Although I thought my tiredness was normal and I just got a letter today to say my thyroid is out of range so maybe that's why I'm shattered!

ShinyButtons Fri 01-May-20 01:18:04

I moved away from my home town, as have all my family, we're all a plane ride away from each other so we obviously don't see each other on a day to day basis anyway. So the way we communicate hasn't changed. If anything I'm seeing more of family (via video calls) than before because we're checking in on each other.

I have horses who take up most of my time and money so I don't go out that often anyway.
I speak to my best friend on the phone nearly everyday, we'd normally meet up once a month ish to do something like walking rather than coffee or shopping. Although I do like a day out somewhere I'm not that bothered about it if I can't do it for a while.

The only thing that has really changed for me is not going to work and seeing my work buddies although we have a work group chat. I have been loving lockdown, I've got more time to do things at home that I never normally have time for and I'm spending more time with my horses, by the time I've faffed around in the house, seen the horses and gone for my daily walk most of the day has flown by.

I think people just have different lives, obviously lots of people are missing shopping and going for coffee etc, lots of others aren't because we all have different priorities and enjoy doing other things.

helpwithbingeing Fri 01-May-20 01:21:59

A lot of my family live very rurally in Scottish highlands - mostly stalkers and gamekeepers ... nearest neighbours can be ten miles away - they say nothing has changed except their monthly Tesco run (two hour drive) has become a bit of a pain in the arse ! I think similar story for lots of people in Highlands and Islands - this isn’t at all unusual for them and explains the very slow spread . There’s very, very few people infected once you get north and west of Aberdeenshire . That’s quite a blessing as there’s very few hospital beds too !!

ineedaholidaynow Fri 01-May-20 01:24:40

Does seem strange if you have DC that you don’t have social interaction with other people especially if they are Primary age or below.

DH and I moved to a new area before we had DC. Really got to meet people and make friends after we had DC.

PumpkinP Fri 01-May-20 01:29:48

People said I would make loads of friends when my dc went to school, that hasn’t been the case at all. It is strange but it is what it is.

ineedaholidaynow Fri 01-May-20 01:32:58

Don’t you invite children on play dates, parties etc? That’s when you tend to meet parents, or whilst you are hanging around activities.

terrigrey Fri 01-May-20 01:38:11

I am still going to work, (although work is very different as we are socially distancing from each other and most of the workforce are able to WFH or have been furloughed), so during the week things are very similar and it's too busy for me to notice things are very different outside of my work/home bubble. My colleagues and I are fairly chatty at work and I enjoy my job.

I get my exercise by walking my dog in areas close to my house late/early so I avoid other walkers/runners which is what I normally do anyway as I like to have Mother Nature to myself as much as possible. I have lots of nice walks from my house, one of the main reasons I bought it years ago.

It's strange not to have any trips/holidays/social stuff planned at the weekend, but I am enjoying chilling at home and not rushing around. I'm not managing to get any DIY/household jobs/learn a language/Joe Wicks done as I can't be arsed and the time is flying by.
I am trying to bake and craft at the weekend so I feel like I'm not missing out on the cultural experience of lockdown!

I'm fairly sociable and normally a big traveller and often travelling for work which has stopped, maybe that's why the novelty of being home hasn't worn off.
In fact I'm thinking of changing careers so I can be home more.

I won't be in a rush to get back to normal. Normal is not going to be possible for a long time, and I'm at peace with that. As long as my job is safe and my friends & family are well I'm happy.

PumpkinP Fri 01-May-20 01:38:53

No I don’t, mine haven’t been invited anywhere either.

Humina Fri 01-May-20 01:52:17

We recently moved to another area. I have no real friends here yet. I'm much older than the other mums at primary and I haven't found anyone I have anything in common with yet. Mind you, I don't really do well with friendships anyway. I just like to do my own thing. I don't want to meet up all the time or go for a coffee. I hate shopping. I've never relied on anyone else for childcare, so doing it all isn't a shock to me. I never get a break or have anyone look after me, so it's really no different to normal!

We haven't had holidays for the last few years, so that's not anything to miss either. Our holidays are very much not a rest for me, so in some ways it's easier to stay at home anyway. This might all sound a bit sad, but I'm really very fine with it. I like being at home!

Humina Fri 01-May-20 01:54:16

I also hate play dates. I'll do them, but I find them really stressful. I'll chat to anyone though, you'd never guess from talking to me how much of a strain I find it all! grin

Graphista Fri 01-May-20 01:54:28

Disabled & agoraphobic here.

I've not left flat in nearly 2.5 years so not much difference for me either.

Made some things more difficult especially deliveries which I very much rely on and are very difficult to get at the moment

I normally stay in touch with people by phone, sm etc don't really have visitors

But there's probably around half my circle while not agoraphobic don't go out much ordinarily for a variety of reasons

Shocker - peoples lives are different

I think there's a lot more people live pretty quiet lives than you bothered to consider op

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