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The loneliness is becoming less and less bearable

(86 Posts)
Maria53 Thu 30-Apr-20 21:41:50

I live alone and I'm 28 and single. I work from home 9-5 although it's often later these days.

I've binged shows, read books (tho I cant concentrate on them anymore), I'm trying to lose weight and succeeding at least. My cousin had the virus, my friend had it. My gran is in the last stage of dementia and I worry I will never see her again.

I was supposed to go on a date just before lockdown & have been talking to the guy every couple of days since lockdown started. But then I started taking longer to reply and now he hasnt been in touch for 5 days...and I really feel like there's not much to say anymore. I get it but I miss talking to him. But then what's the point when we cant date? I get it if he's fading out.

I just cant bear not seeing my parents. I miss my best friend. This is no quality of life. I'm working just as hard, if not harder, and have a nightmare client who is quite nasty.

I just keep thinking when will I see one single person that I love again? I am really struggling to live like this. I know it's hard for all of us.

OP’s posts: |
VodselForDinner Thu 30-Apr-20 21:44:37

Oh you poor thing. I’m sorry.

I have no advice for you, but it sounds really tough.

flowers

maslinpan Thu 30-Apr-20 21:47:10

Just wanted to send my support, I am very lucky to have family and two cats with me, even when they intensely annoy me, at least they are here. It must be extra hard on your own, are you going out for exercise at least so you can catch a glimpse of other people? This will not be forever, I think we are all getting lockdown fatigue now. Stay strong, but have a good cry when you need to.

Porcupineinwaiting Thu 30-Apr-20 21:50:23

Just hang on in there OP. I truly believe we are over halfway through lockdown, only a few more weeks to go. We may not exactly go back to normal but it won't be as tough as this.

PeterPomegranate Thu 30-Apr-20 21:50:53

I’m so sorry. That sounds hard. This is a really shitty situation. It won’t be forever but it IS hard. Have you set up any Zoom drinks with friends, near or far?

missyB1 Thu 30-Apr-20 21:52:19

Oh I’m sorry it must be so hard if you live on your own. I have a 30 year old ds who is living on his own and I worry about him feeling lonely. This will pass, you have to hang on to that, I think we aren’t that far away now. Once testing is more widespread it should become more possible to meet family and friends. I’m not saying it will be like before but you will get out and about again.
Be strict about your work hours, don’t do more than you should. Have little routines that signify start and finish of work time. Get dressed for work and get changed when you finish. Plan all the nice things you will do when it’s over.

Concerned7777 Thu 30-Apr-20 21:53:02

Can you see your parents/ best friend from a distance? A chat on the driveway/ through the window every few days?

noblegiraffe Thu 30-Apr-20 21:54:24

Are you doing video chats? My friend who lives alone hated the idea at the start but says it’s been a lifesaver.

Maria53 Thu 30-Apr-20 21:54:55

That's the thing, I may have cried once every so often but now I'm crying every night.

I go to the supermarket & chat to the cashiers. I walk through the park once a week but sometimes that makes it worse as most people are with others or have a dog.

My cat is at my mum's house, apparently she has been sleeping on my things lately. I miss her terribly.

OP’s posts: |
bigchris Thu 30-Apr-20 21:55:12

Hopefully by the end of next week it'll be announced we can see non shielding loved ones again, even if it's just in our houses, hang in there

bigchris Thu 30-Apr-20 21:56:55

If you are feeling really low and it sounds like you are if you are crying nightly, and you aren't going anywhere and your mum isn't vulnerable I'd honestly go and see her and your cat

Maria53 Thu 30-Apr-20 21:57:15

No my parents live in a town and I live in the city. My friends are all too far away for a window chat as well

I have a video chat with friends this weekend. We are made to do loads of video calls every day at work and it is reducing my motivation to contact friends in the evenings.

OP’s posts: |
Maria53 Thu 30-Apr-20 21:58:59

My mum isn't vulnerable but she regularly visits my vulnerable gran who is in the last stages of dementia. I worry about that.

She is about 25 mins away in a car...I'd be stopped by police anyway probably.

OP’s posts: |
Youngatheart00 Thu 30-Apr-20 21:59:29

We can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. Hang on in there.

maslinpan Thu 30-Apr-20 22:00:01

Maybe try to get out for exercise every day? Or just put some music on at home and dance around with the curtains shut? Just getting a bit of adrenaline going is a help, even if it's just very short-term.

rossKemp Thu 30-Apr-20 22:01:19

It’s difficult but it’s a pandemic.

Thousands of people are lying in hospital beds, literally gasping for breath, on their own and knowing they’re about to take their last one without being able to say goodbye to loved ones.

You can get through these few weeks.

nearlynermal Thu 30-Apr-20 22:02:47

OP, if I were you I'd brave the drive and go fetch your cat. Loads of cars on the roads at the moment. My kitties are the only thing keeping me sane right now.

VodselForDinner Thu 30-Apr-20 22:03:10

Lots of animal rescues in my city are looking for foster carers. Would that be an option for you? Would be some company and a nice distraction?

Mascotte Thu 30-Apr-20 22:03:23

It's horrible 💐 you're not alone, there are loads of us struggling. Could you get your cat back?

Hannah021 Thu 30-Apr-20 22:03:53

I go and visit my parents every second weekend and stay there 4 days. I live alone too, and hardly go shopping. The exposure of me going shopping is the same exposure as them going shopping! I couldnt not visit them in the times they most need me

Maria53 Thu 30-Apr-20 22:03:53

I did a 30 min zumba workout today and I'm doing yoga most days.

But I'm not sleeping properly anymore. I had to shut my eyes for 10 mins during today's lunch break.

Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Restrictions were lifted in Germany but infection rates have shot back up again. Surely it's feasible they'll just lock us all down again?

I dont know what's happened. I was doing fine but I just feel overwhelmed by it all suddenly.

OP’s posts: |
Mascotte Thu 30-Apr-20 22:04:21

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

bigchris Thu 30-Apr-20 22:04:27

I doubt very much you'd be stopped by the police for driving for 25 minutes , and you could chat from the garden, maybe take your cat home with you

Porcupineinwaiting Thu 30-Apr-20 22:07:14

Go get your cat- and a glimpse of your mum. Pets are invaluable at times like this - if it were possible I'd be buying my mum a dog (she's been thinking about getting one for a while).

rossKemp Thu 30-Apr-20 22:07:33

@Mascotte perspective is important in a crisis

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