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Does anyone else feel as thou DH they’re among a minority in actually following the lockdown rules?

(40 Posts)
Ethelfleda Wed 29-Apr-20 08:19:47

Friend’s partner is out and about a she likes, visiting family and hanging out with his mates (much to her dismay)
Neighbours are still visiting their parents
In-laws (in a different country but still with lockdown) all visiting each other

I keep hearing story after story of people I know or friends of friends who just aren’t observing any of the lockdown rules and it makes me feel what’s the point??
I’m not about to start flouting the rules myself, of course, but there is a part of me that thinks why the hell am I missing out on seeing friends and family when nearly everyone I know seems to be carrying on as normal??

OP’s posts: |
Ethelfleda Wed 29-Apr-20 08:20:10

Ooops don’t know what happened to the title!

OP’s posts: |
zafferana Wed 29-Apr-20 08:21:52

I don't know anyone who is carrying on as normal. We've all been stuck at home since 20th March.

Gwynfluff Wed 29-Apr-20 08:25:21

I don’t either. My keyworker partner is going out to work. But we’ve not seen any mates in person since lockdown and have just dropped supplies to my mum and dad to their front door.

I think people are starting to tinker with the edges of lockdown. But I personally don’t know anyone breaking it. Though I have friends with money for tech etc, so we’ve been doing remote meets etc. I imagine for some people this is not the case and the isolation is probably unbearable.

Geometricprince Wed 29-Apr-20 08:25:48

Yes I know what you mean op, friend of mine is always having her boyfriend or friends round, dropping the kids off at her parents for a few hours. A couple of our neighbours keep popping out to B and M and the like in the same car (separate households), having parents round, visiting friends and family etc. I sometimes think I've missed a bit and all the restrictions have been lifted!

isabellerossignol Wed 29-Apr-20 08:27:08

I don't know anyone who isn't following the rules. The closest I have seen to it is a known selfish arsehole on our local Facebook page talking about how no one is telling him what he can and can't do.

user1494055864 Wed 29-Apr-20 08:36:01

I live in a cul de sac and 2 of the neighbours regularly have visitors. The neighbours are both in their 30s I guess, so it's not that they are having shopping delivered etc.

theseriousmoonlight Wed 29-Apr-20 08:51:00

I don't personally know anyone breaking the rules. I see people when I'm out for a walk who are though - mostly teens hanging around and I did see two families who had obviously met up for their exercise and were freely mixing with no social distancing. The thing that annoys me most though are the people who seem to have no understanding of social distancing when walking. People standing too close, walking right by you etc when there is plenty of room to stay 2 metres away.

QuimJongUn Wed 29-Apr-20 09:15:29

It's not even possible to be 'carrying on as normal'. How can it be? Hardly any shops open, no social venues, queuing to get into the shops which are open... I keep seeing people berating others for carrying on as normal and I'm genuinely baffled.

The streets here are deserted in the centre of town (large UK city) but get busier as you get further into the suburbs. Some take this as evidence that people are going about their usual daily business regardless of lockdown. However some people still have to go to work, and people still have to shop/care for relatives/take their exercise and so on. The reason the streets are busier in the daytime is because more people are at home during the day now, and the fact the suburbs are busier than the centre shows people are staying closer to home.

So many threads on here reckons that they're in the 'minority' for following the rules, as if posters expect a gold star. Fact is, it's proven that the vast majority of people - between 70% and 80% - are adhering fully to the guidelines. This is reflected in the relatively small number of fines issued to those actually breaking the law (the actual law, not MN law) and the fact that lockdown is working, and deaths/infection is decreasing.

Also, people may be visiting friends/relatives/friends because they're older or vulnerable. Don't be so quick to judge.

Underhisi Wed 29-Apr-20 09:24:40

No. Most people I know are following the actual rules ( and not curtain twitchers made up ones.) The 'worst' rule breaking I know of is joggers running too close and someone in my street not elderly having her daughter and grandkids visit whilst on exercise and them standing at the end of the garden to chat.

Iwalkinmyclothing Wed 29-Apr-20 09:28:59

No. Everyone I know is going along with it. For all the blethering about loads of people being out and about (which always makes me think the complainer is a bit dim as they must also have been out and about to see others, so why do they assume everyone they see is out for the wrong reason but they are not?), on my way to and from work it is obvious that hardly anyone is.

Ethelfleda Wed 29-Apr-20 09:30:23

QuimJong

Did you actually read my post?
I actually KNOW these people. I know what they’re doing and I know they’re actively stating they don’t see why the rules should apply to them.
For most of them, it is their normal. My friend’s partner for example rarely goes out and works for himself, from home. Only ever hangs about in his neighbours houses or goes to visit family. And this is what he is still doing.

I haven’t asked for a gold star either FFS. I’m pissed off that it appears as though I’m depriving myself when so many people I know don’t give a fuck and are seeing their friends and family as normal. It’s not a gold fucking star I want, it’s for this lockdown to either work or be lifted.

OP’s posts: |
Iwalkinmyclothing Wed 29-Apr-20 09:30:23

Although having seen what some people think the 'rules' are, it's not surprising they think the 'rules' are being flouted. People who think you are only allowed to go to work if you are a key worker, for example.

PhoneLock Wed 29-Apr-20 09:32:15

People are very good around here. The only people I have noticed that appear to be flouting the rules are retired couple in their 70s who don't seem to have modified their behaviour at all. They still go out and have family visiting every day who stay for a couple of hours or so.

Ethelfleda Wed 29-Apr-20 09:32:17

And can I add, if I see people ‘out and about’ I do not automatically assume they’re not following rules at all. My frustration isn’t borne out of curtain twitching, it’s actually KNOWING people that don’t believe in following the lockdown guidance.

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QuimJongUn Wed 29-Apr-20 10:07:42

@Ethelfleda your thread title asks if anyone else feels like they're among the minority for following the rules.

The majority ARE following the rules. Demonstrably so.

And whatever you may think, just because someone might be visiting a friend it doesn't mean their life is currently normal. Nobody's is. Perhaps they've taken a calculated risk for the sake of their mental health - however well you know someone, you don't know exactly what they're dealing with. And the examples you give aren't people you know on a deeply personal level anyway (friend's partner, neighbours). You can't possibly know what they're dealing with or what their needs are. And the 'rules' (the actual law again, not MN law) clearly states that you can visit others if there's a need to provide care. That doesn't just mean help to go to the toilet or whatever.

Stop worrying about what others do. You can't control their actions, only your own.

Thisdressneedspockets Wed 29-Apr-20 10:19:13

I don't know anyone carrying on as normal.

I'm doing what is lawful and probably going a little further than that - and a little further than a lot of people but less far than people who are terrified or shielding and less far than some people calling for total lockdown would like.

I had a slight suspicion the other day that my neighbours might have been having a more pleasant day than me. Their car was gone all day - where were they! What fun were they having that I didn't know we possible? Then I focused back in on me and how to make my own day better. What an improvement!

Flaxmeadow Wed 29-Apr-20 10:20:46

I think many of those ignoring or sneering at the lock down probably haven't experienced knowing someone who has the virus, or who has died from it.

There are whole threads out there dedicated to laughing at the lockdown and even at people dying, or making jokes about spreading the virus. I do think that if, or when, they know someone who has died of covid19 their attitude might change somewhat

Springersrock Wed 29-Apr-20 10:25:46

No. I don’t know anyone carrying on as normal

Everyone I know is following the rules - the actual rules though, not the made up ones I see all over social media and on here

I do see a lot of curtain twitching, busybodying and jumping to incorrect conclusions going on though

2outof3Mightbebad Wed 29-Apr-20 11:00:42

Being pissed off with people you know doesn't mean you're in the minority. You've only got to look at the stats to see the majority of people have complied. More than expected.

ilovecherries Wed 29-Apr-20 11:11:26

I don’t know anyone who is breaking the rules. My student DD is living with us for the duration, and although she misses her boyfriend who has also gone home, neither of them seem to know anyone breaking them either.

QuimJongUn Wed 29-Apr-20 11:29:41

There are whole threads out there dedicated to laughing at the lockdown and even at people dying, or making jokes about spreading the virus

No there are not. There are, however, threads where people are dealing with all of this to the very best of their capabilities and sometimes they use humour to do that. But nobody on MN - or anywhere else, as far as I can see - is laughing at people dying. Don't be ridiculous.

IcedPurple Wed 29-Apr-20 11:31:15

I don't expect this thread has gone quite the way the OP had anticipated!

You're not in the minority, OP. You're not especially virtuous. Look at the daily press briefings. The actual stats - as opposed to 'stories' about a friend of a friend having a BBQ, or Alison in number 14 leaving her home twice a day or otherwise 'flouting' the rules - show that all forms of traffic have declined massively in the past 5 weeks. The govt have said more than once that they've been pleasantly surprised by the extent to which the British public have complied. Is it 100%? No, but it doesn't need to be.

You just do you, OP, and stop worrying about imaginary rule 'flouters'.

lazylinguist Wed 29-Apr-20 11:31:25

No, I don't personally know of anyone who's not following the rules.

janeskettle Wed 29-Apr-20 11:31:55

Yep.

It's not fun.

And here, where I am, everyone's all excited about being able to have the restrictions relaxed, and I'm just sad, because for our household we have to remain vigilant until there are effective vaccines or treatments, as a family member (not elderly! not that it matters) is immunocompromised.

So not only did muggins here not break the rule, muggins has to keep the rules for the foreseeable future, and it sucks.

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