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Jackass whisperers against the cheap beer virus

(1000 Posts)
PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock Tue 21-Apr-20 19:40:57

Thread number...4?!? Fucking hell I've never been so popular.

Keep on keeping on and ,moan,whinge and laugh while you enjoy your deliveries and cackle evilly while you kill thousands.

All under the benevolent eye of your awesome , yellow and very ripe leader.

May the bleach be with you.

loobyloo1234 Tue 21-Apr-20 20:04:32

Ocado delivery coming Thursday. I forgot to request that the driver leave my shopping 100 metres away and not to even look in my direction as I waddle over (too many Pringles) to collect it

Willow2017 Tue 21-Apr-20 20:09:10

Wow 4 pages if sanctuary already! Go us😂😂

ISaySteadyOn Tue 21-Apr-20 20:15:07

Thanks for the new thread. I think these threads might be the main things keeping me sane.

LalalalalaLlama Tue 21-Apr-20 20:20:00

I think I look forward to the thread names most of all. I'm going to put in a request for frothing over bleach to be included in the next thread name.

Maxandezra Tue 21-Apr-20 20:21:54

oh fantastic another thread....may there be much frolicking and blessing of fruit......

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock Tue 21-Apr-20 20:22:07

New thread names are always welcome ...I severely lack inspiration and wit atm,hence being a bit quiet .

Shitsgettingcrazy Tue 21-Apr-20 20:30:41

I have just been told that leisure whilst exercising means is not exercise......therefore not allowed.

Didn't realise you could only go out for exercise if you were also miserable about it.

Maxandezra Tue 21-Apr-20 20:32:56

shits rather fortunately I always look as if Im dying when I'm out running so that should no doubt please the frothers. (they would never know I actually quite enjoy it!) I do sometimes stop to breath take a photo though, that would defintiely piss a few people off!

Willow2017 Tue 21-Apr-20 21:12:18

Oooh i am sitting on my hands. Twice i have written a post and deleted it on those rabid threads about exercise and crisps. Wtaf is the world coming to?

loobyloo1234 Tue 21-Apr-20 21:14:16

Oh no Willow ... just reply. I do. I’m sure I piss people off calling them pathetic but I honestly don’t care wink

Smilethoyourheartisbreaking Tue 21-Apr-20 21:16:11

Save me from the conspiracy cunts. Please

Shitsgettingcrazy Tue 21-Apr-20 21:17:27

@Maxandezra me too! I look like I am doing it as punishment.

So on the crisp thread.

Sitting on a bench is fine if you have limited mobility. Then risk isn't increased.

Those people can't catch it off the previous occupant unless that person was eating crisps.

However, its perfectly legitimate to use the bench for tricep dips (doesn't increase the risk of spreading the virus, not like crisps) and doing box jumps.

Apparently jumping on a bench with your shoes on, is perfectly hygienic and poses no risk to the person with limited mobility who may need the bench later.

But sitting on it and eating crisps increases the risk massively. 🤷‍♀️

Willow2017 Tue 21-Apr-20 21:18:44

I have but you cant fight stupid. Appatently its ok to exercise on a park bench with hands and feet all over it but actually sitting on it will infect a small town! Htaf does that work. Oh unless you have a sign round your neck to say you are disabled or having a hypo which means you cant infect anyone.
My brain is bleeding out my ears and my eyes are dribbling down my face at the utter nonsensical logic put forward.

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock Tue 21-Apr-20 21:19:18

I kinda gave up being sensible and rational.

Now I mostly do my pouty snarky toddler routine "I don't wanna! You can't make me!"grin

At least I won't be the only one smacking my head on the keyboards then.

Willow2017 Tue 21-Apr-20 21:21:15

Ha ha x post!

loobyloo1234 Tue 21-Apr-20 21:23:08

Re Crisp Gate. Surely these people don’t actually say this stuff out loud? To real life people?

HibiscusPot Tue 21-Apr-20 21:28:40

I think I met a mumsnet frother

I was out today at the nature reserve and witnessed a lady walking her dog getting really angry, I heard Her shouting at a big family group (nature reserve, v quiet and not overlooked)

-you were here yesterday! I saw you!
-everyday you think think you can come out just to play!
-you see us because you are here
-you don’t even social distance don’t you? Touching!
-we live in the same house!
-should we lock them up?

real life thread in action

vera99 Tue 21-Apr-20 21:31:21

I'm looking forward to when the council do haircuts with government-issued ration vouchers.

vera99 Tue 21-Apr-20 21:33:14


GnomeDePlume Tue 21-Apr-20 21:34:29

I popped back into the picnic in the park thread. Big mistake. One poster said that the OP's family should have gone out separately to avoid having fun.

Are hair shirts coming back into fashion?

Princess should birch branches be issued so that we can all flagellate ourselves if we think bad thoughts like 'wouldnt it be nice to walk somewhere different today'?

Smilethoyourheartisbreaking Tue 21-Apr-20 21:45:21

Every one is still pretty cool here. Even the homeless bless them don't come too close

I must live in a little weird bubble

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock Tue 21-Apr-20 21:47:17

There's shooting stars outside if anyone wants to join me in looking like a freezing moron in the middle of the street.grin

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock Tue 21-Apr-20 21:50:49

Birch branches are too good for you sinners!

Kneeling on walnut shells and thorn whips all the way.

Willow2017 Tue 21-Apr-20 21:52:41

Well i think the communal whip is now a cat o nine tails from over use so we may need a replacement.

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