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My lovely Dad is gone

(94 Posts)
Cherrycee Tue 21-Apr-20 04:38:50

Its the middle of the night and I just can't sleep after the traumatic 24 hours I've had. I wonder if anyone else is here?

This horrible bastard of a virus took my lovely Dad yesterday and I'm really struggling. The illness came on extremely quickly. He was given oxygen but he just didn't respond to it at all. I got a few minutes with him before he went but he was unconscious and I was so shaken I could barely even say anything to him, I was just a mess. I told him I loved him and I fell apart and had to leave the room.

We can't even have a proper funeral. This is just so so unfair.

The media is full of stats and commentary but with little focus on the victims and their families, unless they're the 'worthy' ones who were young or had no underlying conditions. My dad may have been elderly but he could have had a few more years left. His life mattered and he's more than a statistic.

I don't know how to cope with this. Can anyone relate?

OP’s posts: |
Casino218 Tue 21-Apr-20 04:43:56

There are no words. I'm so sorry. You must be in shock this has all happened so quickly. thanks

chipshopElvis Tue 21-Apr-20 04:47:09

I'm so sorry for your loss. You're right, your lovely Dad shouldnt be reduced to a statistic. x

aladyofinderterminateage Tue 21-Apr-20 04:47:53

I am so sorry for your loss.
These are dark times.flowers

londonscalling Tue 21-Apr-20 04:51:41

I am so sorry to read this. Coronavirus is cruel and devastating. Sending you big hugs x

GinisLife Tue 21-Apr-20 04:52:12

He will have known you were there. He knew you loved him. You cared. Sending love & hugs. It's shite. I'm so sorry x

PlanDeRaccordement Tue 21-Apr-20 05:00:46

Very sorry to hear your Dad was taken so suddenly. I know it hurts you deeply that you did not have a chance to say goodbye. I hope you have family to support you through your grief. X

Mimishimi Tue 21-Apr-20 05:03:05

So sorry 🙏

Cherrycee Tue 21-Apr-20 05:08:06

Thank you all. I think I just needed to get all those thoughts out. Its utterly shit.

OP’s posts: |
Inkpaperstars Tue 21-Apr-20 05:14:36

I'm so so sorry Cherry

You're right, your dad should have had years and no matter what age or health, every year means so much to a person and their loved ones.

My heart goes out to you. Take it a few minutes at a time, try to look after yourself in the simplest ways if you can. flowers

Sandleman Tue 21-Apr-20 05:16:51

I’m so sorry for your loss. It seems very unfair that you have lost your lovely dad like this flowers

TheoriginalLEM Tue 21-Apr-20 05:20:46

Your dad isn't a statistic. Please tell us a bit about him. flowers

mathanxiety Tue 21-Apr-20 05:28:36

What a terrible shock, and a tragedy for your family. So sorry for the loss of your lovely dad.

Do you have any other family members you can mourn with? Share memories with? Can you make sure his things are kept safe until you can all get together and remember him, celebrate his life together?

flowers

Lara53 Tue 21-Apr-20 05:43:15

I’m so so sorry for your loss. Hugs xx

Mummyoflittledragon Tue 21-Apr-20 05:46:12

I’m so sorry. So terrible for you and anyone else grieving not being able to say goodbye.. flowers

Chrisinthemorning Tue 21-Apr-20 05:46:48

I’m sorry about your lovely dadflowers

Notpanickingjustyet Tue 21-Apr-20 05:48:06

I'm so sorry flowers
Your dad isn't a statistic, no matter how the media portray it.
Hold on to your special memories.

Shopaholic100 Tue 21-Apr-20 05:51:24

So sorry for your loss, 💐.

catnidge Tue 21-Apr-20 05:53:43

I am so sorry.flowers
I think as the numbers of deaths drop media keeps going on about getting out of lock down etc and completely forgets that life has been thrown into turmoil for those who have lost loved ones.

Your Dad is not just a statistic and was taken earlier than he would have been if this awful virus had not occurred.

Thinking of you.

RoseGoldEagle Tue 21-Apr-20 06:00:05

I’m so so sorry. You’re right, it is utterly shit. Thinking of you xx

Sosadandempty Tue 21-Apr-20 06:04:17

I am so sorry @Cherrycee xxx

WorriedDaughter1 Tue 21-Apr-20 06:11:35

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Sammy1012 Tue 21-Apr-20 06:13:52

No my darling, your dad is NOT a statistic.

Numbers are there to offer no more than data, they don't represent people, their consciousness, their contributions, their soul, their personality, their impact, or anything about them.

The media cannot represent everyone, but most people know loss at some time in their life and feel the weight of every "number" and this loss is especially terrible because - as you said - the fact that you can't have a proper funeral.

I am so sorry for the loss of your dad - would you like to tell us a bit about him? xxx

DontStandSoClose Tue 21-Apr-20 06:20:10

How awful, I’m so sorry.

I’ve said the same about how the news only reports stats and that it could be easy to forget that every single person that is reported about is a person and someone’s much loved relative or friend. I hate how the older deaths are treated particularly, like only young lives matter. Having your life cut short at any age by this horrendous virus matters, it’s still a life cut short. It is utterly shit.

Cherrysherbet Tue 21-Apr-20 06:21:37

I’m so sorry for your loss. Of course your lovely Dad isn’t a statistic. It has made me mad that since the beginning of this, people are saying “oh it only gets the old or those with underlying health problems” like they are not important. It’s so wrong.

Your Dad deserves recognition. I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I want you to know that every time I hear about the ‘number’ of people that have died each day, I always think of them as people with loved ones and who were special to their families and friends. Take care.

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