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This isn't right is? Should I report?

(59 Posts)
BlackCoffeeExtraStrong Mon 20-Apr-20 20:13:50


So probably been done to death on here, but I genuinely don't know if this is a situation I should report.

Two of my neighbours both have their family over quite reguarly. I'd say 2 or 3 times a week and whereas they don't go inside, they're offered drinks back and forth, definitely aren't keeping a 2 meter distance and one has a dog who runs up to the neighbours daughter and her bf and they fuss her and then she runs back to him. So easily transmitting anything, potentially. Same with the drinks.

Both neighbours (different hh I should add) are over 70, I'm pretty sure and seem to be isolating generally, but this isn't ok is it?

I would absolutely LOVE to drive over to my mum and dads, who I miss so much, but I don't and I won't until lockdown is over, because I don't want to risk passing anything on.

I honestly think they believe they're doing the right thing, because as I said, they're taking other precautions, but every time I see them, I think 🤦‍♀️ what are you doing?!

Would you report this?

OP’s posts: |
ilovecakeandwine Mon 20-Apr-20 20:24:37

No !
Yes it's wrong and yes you are right to feel annoyed .
You say you think they are not doing anything wrong , can you not have a word with them to say this isn't what your supposed to be doing ?

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite Mon 20-Apr-20 20:28:06

No. I wouldn't report it. At least they are trying to keep some distance if they don't go inside.

SmileyClare Mon 20-Apr-20 20:38:34

No don't get involved in a dispute. I doubt any sort of official warning would deter them? They could simply say they're dropping round supplies or shopping and not going in, just speaking at a distance.

As annoying as it is to see people not adhering to guidelines, that's the minority of people. Enough of our population are sticking to it to achieve the aim of social distancing, to flatten the curve and significantly lower the rate of infection. That is working as planned.

You could have a kind word with your neighbours if you're on friendly terms, perhaps express concern that you don't want them to get ill? That could go badly though and you'll fall out completely sad

Xenia Mon 20-Apr-20 20:40:41

So they don't go into the house? They are allowed to go over to take medicine and food of course. Perhaps that is all they are doing and in a sense they are Florence Nightingale heroes for helping elderly parents and following the advice of the state.

MegUffin Mon 20-Apr-20 20:44:13

I hear you op

Three of the neighbours opposite have family over regularly and their grandchildren/ grandparents etc

Absolutely pisses me off when my children aren't seeing their grandparents as we are abiding by the rules

The restrictions will barely ease unless these idiots get a grip and stop thinking that it doesn't apply to them.

SmileyClare Mon 20-Apr-20 20:53:55

Yes it's not fair when you would dearly love to visit your own parents but you can seek comfort in the fact that you aren't exposing them to unnecessary risk.

BacklashStarts Mon 20-Apr-20 20:58:02

No, keep your beak out.

stoptherideiwanttogetoff Mon 20-Apr-20 21:01:47

Hmm I hear ya! Sister tells me the other day she's having her daughter over and two children daily to play in the garden.. I said it was breaking the law and apparently I'm in the wrong. Have I missed something???

Crimbles Mon 20-Apr-20 21:03:34

Are your neighbours in good health?
I ask as we were given the news my Dad is terminally ill a few weeks before lockdown. So I am visiting 4 times a week to help care for Dad and support Mum, who is not coping too well emotionally with the diagnosis, suddenly becoming a carer for her DH plus the stress, isolation and complications of COVID-19.

I doubt any of his neighbours know he is ill, let alone that he probably won't be here in 3 months time. He is normally super fit and healthy. I suspect they are very curious why I am visiting so much. My DH is doing all the their shopping and prescription drop offs (I am only going between my house and theirs, no where else), so they'll have noticed him too.

I'm not trying to be contentcious. Just posting a different perspective. The thought has crossed my mind more than once that neighbours probably think we are ignoring the rules.

backaftera2yearbreak Mon 20-Apr-20 21:04:39

Keep your nose out.

SophieB100 Mon 20-Apr-20 21:04:47

I wouldn't report them. Sounds like the risks are minimal, although they aren't strictly adhering the guidance.
I think tolerance is needed right now, only families know their own dynamics, and for some the slight risk is outweighed by the benefits of some socially distanced contact.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 20-Apr-20 21:11:06

No I wouldn’t. It’s none of your business.

loobyloo1234 Mon 20-Apr-20 21:27:26

Nosey neighbours are the worst. Please get a life OP and stop worrying about what others are doing unless it directly affects you

formerchild Mon 20-Apr-20 21:29:28

So because you don't see your family you want to make these neighbours suffer out of spite?

No it's not great social distancing but just mind your own business.

You're like those French families that reported their neighbours for hiding Jews during WW2.

SmileyClare Mon 20-Apr-20 21:37:39

Crimbles that's awful for you all and your parents. Made even worse by the restrictions flowers

DrWAnker Mon 20-Apr-20 21:38:15

Who do you report to? The cops? Ha!

Our neighbour had people over yesterday for a good few hours. Then because we were outside decided to come and give our dog a thorough petting (well away from us, it's a large garden). I was raging but didn't say anything because my kids were in the garden and I also feel like I'm being paranoid. He's obviously struggling.
Dog was promptly shampood.
I don't actually care what he does but upon reflection will say to him if he approaches the garden again to stay away. I know people aren't taking this seriously but we are!
But reporting? I don't think the police really have time for it, do they? They'd be all over the place if it where the case and I live in the countryside!

DrWAnker Mon 20-Apr-20 21:38:59

*were ffs

BlackCoffeeExtraStrong Mon 20-Apr-20 21:47:49

"Get a life"? Ha! Really? Does anyone have a life right now?... Lovely hmm

Why is there so much anger here?

because you don't see your family you want to make these neighbours suffer out of spite?

Ey? How did you come to that conclusion? I don't see my family, because as far as I was concerned it isn't allowed because they come under the high risk category and the government has specifically said that travelling to see your family isn't allowed unless you're dropping off supplies. This isn't what my neighbours are doing. They're just visiting and having a catch up.

OP’s posts: |
SmileyClare Mon 20-Apr-20 21:51:31

the restrictions will barely ease unless these idiots get a grip

It's understandable to feel frustrated but this is a terrible mindset.

It's not the fault of a minority of "idiots" that restrictions have been extended. Conversely, the slower the spread, the flatter the curve so the longer we take to reach "peak" and the longer we will be on "lockdown". The guidelines take into account a small minority abusing them and spreading the virus and that doesn't affect the overall outcome for a nation. There will always be some spread of infection.

Directing vitriol at Joe blogs for having a chat on someone's driveway just fuels unrest and discontent. We're not in this mess because of neighbours visiting their friend's driveways. Don't you think it's more to do with the fact that the UK didn't shut borders and lockdown quicker?

I'm not making it right but it's not helpful to point at neighbours and shout murderers, it's your fault or whatever.

Myimaginarycathasfleas Mon 20-Apr-20 21:58:26

They're just visiting and having a catch up.

You don't know this, OP. They might be dropping off a few supplies thereby saving their parents from going out.

It sounds like they are trying to observe the social distancing rules by staying outside.

BlackCoffeeExtraStrong Mon 20-Apr-20 22:06:05

Yes, I think they are trying to, but they clearly aren't. I think they just think if they stay outside, it's ok, but they're very close. One in particular. I don't think they come under the idiot "if I get it, I get it" brigade. I think it's just ignorance, but nevertheless, it could be dangerous.

sounds like they are trying to observe the social distancing rules by staying outside.

Does that mean I can go and visit my parents if we all stay outside? As far as I was concerned, ANY nonessential travel was not permitted. Am I wrong?

OP’s posts: |
snowegg Mon 20-Apr-20 22:11:43

You can visit your parents if you are caring for them. Would it be helpful if you checked up on them?

SmileyClare Mon 20-Apr-20 22:15:30

If your parents live close by and are classed as vulnerable then offer to take them some shopping, leave it on the doorstep and they can speak to you from a window or something. I doubt that would help your sense of detachment from them at the moment. Humans crave contact, a hug or sitting together laughing. It might be just as useful to simply speak on the phone or Skype.

The guidelines allow for some common sense to be applied. Individuals (you would expect) can risk assess their own actions and decide whether they are carrying out an essential task.

It's never going to help your own feelings of discontent to spy on neighbours and get bitter about their actions. I get it, we're all finding it hard smile

lljkk Mon 20-Apr-20 22:29:28

Do you want your neighbors to learn they should distrust ppl & especially you? Coz that's what you'll achieve.

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