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Leaving relationship in lockdown(4 Posts)
I need to leave my relationship.
I have 3 kids but they are with their dad until this is resolved. Partner has 3 kids. They're not here for lockdown and I need to leave before things get back to normal.
I dont know how to even start though. I rang the domestic abuse line and they could put me in a womens shelter but I'd be miles from my kids (I normally have them 50% in holidays a bit less in term time) and they're the only things keeping me going. If I have to sit in a room alone with nothing miles from them I think itll tip me over the edge.
I've been called alsorts for the last year. My partner is also transgender. I've done nothing but support this and all I get in return is moods, lies or abuse.
I'm told almost daily now I'm ugly, stupid or shallow. I dont have my own opinions or thoughts. I'm a crap parent. I dont provide. I waste money (if I try to earn atm I'm barraged with abuse and accusations). I'm accused of cheating most days. They make fun of my teeth due to them being replaced after anorexia.
Theyve threatened to take away my make up and clothes, told me if I go I go with nothing and wouldnt let me sit down. When I couldnt sit more than a ft away from them earlier (they were spreading over the bed so I couldnt sit and do my make up) theyvr got enraged cuz I was using my toner water and it squirted on their arm. So they sprayed zoflora in my face and it went in my mouth nose and eyes.
Then threatened to report me to the police.
They tell me theyve logged alsorts of my apparent abusive behaviour but I'm not abusive. Sometimes I react after hours of baiting and abuse and these are held up as proof of my abuse, sent round friends and family. If I cry its videoed and sent to his ex etc
The flat isnt in my name and they have tried to throw me out every day since lockdown knowing I have no where to go.
I have no money and every time I get any I spend it on exactly what I'm told to and I'm then blamed for running out.
I cant see a way out. I dont know what to do or where to start. I dont want sympathy because I got myself into this and I've put up with things that I shouldnt have even before lockdown but can someone tell me who I can contact who's not going to take me miles from my kids?
I'm worried if I leave I'll be stuck for money. I've got about 50p in my account until the 5th. I could leave the day I'm paid but I'm worried I'll be arrested if partner reports and claims I've not sent them anything (I'd send them half even tho we only get more because I'm on Pip and UC sickness).
Can anyone advise please I cant even call anyone in private as we live in a one bedroom flat and I'm scared to go out incase they kick off and lock me out. My family dont live here so I'm just on my own.
Can you go and stay with your family until you sort something out that's more permanent? Even if they're not nearby, you can at least get out of the abusive relationship and start to think straight. Also, you would have support for what to do next.
Failing that, you could take the room, but before that make a list of plans and goals, so that you can start getting sorted from the beginning, and have something to do/ think about to keep you from becoming depressed.
Call the police. Or alternatively, go for your daily walk and get to a police station and tell them or show them this post. This is abuse and coercive control.
I really hope you get sorted. You do not deserve this and it isn’t the our fault.
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