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If there's a phased relaxation of lockdown with young people allowed out, will you allow your DC to return to Uni?

(44 Posts)
Bouledeneige Sun 19-Apr-20 14:21:07

My DD is in her first year of university. Her 2nd year rental house is available in July/August and she and her friends are thinking of returning for a summer of social fun. I am sympathetic to her desire to do so but wonder whether the students will obey whatever social distancing rules are still in place for them (if any). I've said to her lets wait and see what the government says. If such travel is permitted and they return, and even if pubs, restaurants and clubs are still closed they will undoubtedly be meeting up, having house parties etc etc.

But given that the expectation is that 80% of us will get the virus if, and until a vaccine is available then it seems then it seems that the 'new normal' will be for the lowest risk groups to be living with infection or the risk of it. Except for those with underlying health conditions who won't be able to join in, and for the risk of them infecting other people. I'm not sure therefore what that would mean for them if they wanted to return home for any reason. But reading the papers today it seems like the over 70s and most vulnerable people could be living in isolation for a year whilst rules are eased for others.

What are your views folks? Anyone else had this conversation? And my apologies if this is already being discussed on other boards - I will delete if so. As I said, I think the most likely answer is we will just have to wait and see.

OP’s posts: |
ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 19-Apr-20 14:31:15

I have two uni dc with me, as soon as restrictions lift ds1 will definitely go back. Ds3 is moving house in July and will go back then I suspect.

cathyandclare Sun 19-Apr-20 14:38:07

I think DD will run back! She's going stir crazy. Will send her off with wipes, vitamins snd a long list of instructions which she will no doubt ignore

SpudsAreLife84 Sun 19-Apr-20 14:39:16

Surely how you feel about it is immaterial seeing as uni students are adults and can do as they choose confused

HerstoryInTheMaking Sun 19-Apr-20 15:25:11

I wouldnt expect universities to open until September. In Regards to the lifting of lockdown I would advise Uni aged DC to stay home. 2nd waves or even 3rd waves of this virus are very likely. I wouldnt want my Dc to be stuck hundreds of miles away.

Obviously when teaching starts it is a necessity but I would be against a summer of fun.

HerstoryInTheMaking Sun 19-Apr-20 15:25:57

Sorry forgot to add I expect new lockdowns until a vaccine unfortunately

Canklesforankles Sun 19-Apr-20 15:29:56

My DD is planning on going back in time for any lockdown in the autumn.
She’s fed up and keen to be in lockdown with friends instead of us.

HonestCentrist Sun 19-Apr-20 15:34:52

They’re adults. There’s no ‘allowing’

MigginsMs Sun 19-Apr-20 15:35:33

They’re adults. There’s no ‘allowing’

This

Mumteedum Sun 19-Apr-20 15:36:56

The thought of students all mingling in house parties then coming to my lectures in September, when I have health concerns scares me.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman Sun 19-Apr-20 15:38:11

Yes. But it's not up to me. She's old enough to make her own decisions.

googlepoodle Sun 19-Apr-20 15:38:36

I wouldn’t put any restrictions on - as others have said they are adults. But my dd will be going in July if restrictions are lifted. They are missing the best term with new friends when the nights are light and the weather is warm.

HuntIdeas Sun 19-Apr-20 15:40:08

She’s an adult so it’s really not up to you to allow anything

HoffiCoffi13 Sun 19-Apr-20 15:40:09

They’re adults. There’s no ‘allowing’

I came on the thread to say exactly the same thing. It will be entirely their decision.

Bouledeneige Sun 19-Apr-20 15:41:26

Yes she's an adult but she also asks my opinion and listens to it. Not that I would tell her what to do but if I thought she was breaking government rules or putting herself or others at risk I would have a strong opinion. When lockdown was rumoured I did tell her I was coming to collect her as I didn't want her to get stuck up there - so I guess I didn't give her much choice. But she respected my view on that. She didn't want to get stuck there either. But in adult relationships you do take into account other peoples' views don't you? I do listen to her views and advice too.

In all likelihood if she went back up I would drive her with all her stuff. I have every sympathy for her since its hard going from her hyper social life to being at home. And she will be missing out on all her summer travel plans. Selfishly I will miss her (I will be stuck with her very uncommunicative brother). But then she should have been going back to uni for her summer term anyway.

If there are further lockdowns we will cross that bridge when we come to it. But frankly I wonder if we are all expected to get it whether there will be further lockdowns for everyone - just the vulnerable. I guess it depends if corona and flu hit hard over the winter months - then they will need to regulate flow into limited critical care beds.

OP’s posts: |
titchy Sun 19-Apr-20 15:43:02

Yeah my final year student is going back at the first opportunity, currently missing out on post finals parties, celebrations, balls, festivals, holidays and graduation itself - it's a gutting way to end on, and there's a house sitting empty....

HoffiCoffi13 Sun 19-Apr-20 15:48:05

Yes of course you take into account others views, it’s just your OP said will you ‘allow’ them to go back. It will predominantly be her decision of course.
I think ‘wait and see’ is the only answer to the vast majority of these questions at the moment.

Wilkolampshade Sun 19-Apr-20 16:14:22

Crikey! Mine (3rd yr of 4yr course) is still there! Exams in 3 weeks, cracking on with it. She'd hate it at home.
There's been a bit of juggling occupants around as various people left early on, but they settled ito a kind of rhthym at lickdown and are making the most of things - theirs can't be the only student flat left in Edinburgh, surely?

Bouledeneige Sun 19-Apr-20 16:45:56

Yeah my mistake for saying allow. I have never forbidden her from doing anything. We are very close.

OP’s posts: |
bluebeck Sun 19-Apr-20 16:50:48

will you allow your DC to return to Uni?

I don't understand. How would you stop them? confused

Bouledeneige Mon 20-Apr-20 01:24:45

Not returning to uni - going earlier and potentially flouting social distancing rules. I said I got my language wrong about allowing. But she has all her stuff to take so it would be me driving her there.

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WyfOfBathe Mon 20-Apr-20 02:15:43

DH's student niece has been staying with us during lockdown. Her parents live abroad and she was having trouble with her housemates anyway.

She's been lovely to have around the house, helped with childcare, cooking, etc. But she's an adult. Neither us nor her parents are going to try and stop her, just like my parents haven't tried to stop me going to work (key worker) despite their worries.

Pandemonium27 Mon 20-Apr-20 08:19:07

My ds’s Uni has emailed them delaying the start of the 20/21 uni year in September by 2 weeks, to enable the staff time to put things in place for on line provision. This is to be in place initially for students who can’t travel to Uni, but they have said it will be rolled out for everyone if the restrictions are still in place by then. So at the minute we haven’t secured accommodation for ds’s 3rd year at Uni as we will need to wait and see whether there will be face to face lectures etc, or whether it wail all be done remotely.

Barrique Mon 20-Apr-20 08:44:14

Mine is still at uni too - big group and individual projects that were due in just before Easter and now working for exams. He’d be stir crazy stuck at home with us, plus he would empty the fridge every day. There quite a few if his mates still there (Edinburgh too). He’s not too bad at keeping in touch - when prompted.

Laniakea Mon 20-Apr-20 08:47:13

I will absolutely encourage her to go - but others have pointed out it’s entirely up to her. She understands that the risk to her is minuscule so I won’t actually have to do any encouraging!

She’s furloughed from her gap year job but is looking (unsuccessfully as so many people are desperate for work) for a supermarket etc position ... she’d much rather be productive.

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