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I feel so sad for my kids

(21 Posts)
PoppliosBubble Fri 17-Apr-20 18:12:25

Which I know is ridiculous as we’re lucky enough to have a garden and live somewhere with walkable countryside. I’m trying to only take them out every 2-3 days as we have to walk through a fairly busy area to get to the woods or beach. I know other kids have it worse in flats or big cities. I know that we’re all in the same boat. But I just feel so sad for them sad.

I’m completely stumped for things to do with them. We do about an hour school work in the morning, same in the afternoon. Then an hour in the garden or hour walk. Also do an hour of a project - planting or doing papier-mâché or similar. They’ve still managed to watch 20 hours of Dinosaur Train in 2 weeks 🤦‍♀️. They just want to do less and less each day. It’s cloudy today and they are both flat out refusing to even consider going outside.

OP’s posts: |
SophieH83 Fri 17-Apr-20 18:15:23

Reading perhaps?

PoppliosBubble Fri 17-Apr-20 18:41:27

My 7yo does loads of reading. My 4yo can’t read and I have no idea how to get him to do so. He recognises letters but the Pre-School was very clear that we shouldn’t try and get them to combine letters or do flash cards as it often makes it more difficult for them when they start school. He’ll listen to a bedtime story though.

OP’s posts: |
Invisimamma Fri 17-Apr-20 18:49:43

Sounds fine to me. I'm still trying to work for from home so my kids are getting a fair bit of TV and gaming time.

We've also baked a couple of times and board games now and again. I've ordered a large jigsaw for us to do.

I do set my older child reading targets, certain number of chapters or finish a book by x date.

My youngest enjoys aqua beads.

They both speak with friends and family on zoom.

Mummypig2020 Fri 17-Apr-20 18:50:24

I’m sad for mine. Especially my youngest who is nearly 4. She will miss the last bit of pre school which she’s been at for 2 years. Won’t get to see her teacher or her best friends. Won’t get her birthday party. And we all probably won’t be going on holiday to Cornwall in July.

I could cry for them.

ArriettyJones Fri 17-Apr-20 18:55:33

It’s happening to all their friends too. So it’s not one of those troubling experiences that makes them feel alienated from their peers. You just have to find ways to get through it. I would relax a bit about screen time. Twenty hours over 14 days isn’t ridiculous amounts.

EYProvider Fri 17-Apr-20 19:25:26

@PoppliosBubble - If your kids have a woods and beach on their doorstep, their situation is idyllic compared to millions of other kids in this situation.

Let them play on their own in the garden instead of trying to organise every minute for them. It will them and you a world of good.

opalescent Fri 17-Apr-20 19:27:58

I feel exactly the same. I'm shit at this, and all my 'good mum' energy got zapped in the first two weeks. I am working from home too. I had a very difficult working day today, and my 7 year old spent almost all day watching tv. I tried to interact in little bits when I could, but was trying to manage and follow up some very complex Childrens safeguarding issues.

How can I wfh and care for my own children at the same time?😰

ChippityDoDa Fri 17-Apr-20 19:54:14

But Dinosaur Train is brilliantly educational! It’s not like they are watching Peppa all day (like mine hmm) I wouldn’t worry about it. And if they do grow up to be really terrible adults you can just blame the lack of schooling during Corona virus.

TulipsTulipsTulips Fri 17-Apr-20 20:01:38

Honestly, I think the kids will be alright. This is a short period of time in the whole scheme of things. They can be pretty resilient creatures and the upside for them is a lot more family time. It’s the kids who are stuck in dysfunctional families that I feel for.

Embracelife Fri 17-Apr-20 20:04:41

Preschoolers get to hop on board the `Dinosaur Train' to learn about natural science, natural history and palaeontology. Each half-hour episode of this series

Let them watch all day! Sounds perfect
Honestly dont stress
Let it go

In couple days they will be happy to go out again

PumpkinP Fri 17-Apr-20 20:04:42

SOunds like you got it quite good really, garden, beach, but I know what you mean, it’s hard to not feel sad for them, it’s really hard sad

Embracelife Fri 17-Apr-20 20:06:01

Woods beach dinosaur train. All perfect. Enjoy.

adagio Fri 17-Apr-20 20:16:06

I’m off to google dinosaur train now as a change from peppa/simpsons/Disney+ And the newly discovered tiktok... Oh and crossy road type crap games. Mine are also 7 and 4.

You sound like you are doing fine.

We are both wfh full time and are probably rocking 10h screen time a day if I’m honest. Some of it is online school work for my eldest in year 2, and it is mixed between tv/laptop/tablet but basically loads of screens and far too many snacks, unless they take themselves outside to play in sandpit/trampoline/garden. Luckily weather has been great until today so they have been popping in and out a fair bit, but often building a ‘camp’ and then watching yet more you tube crap on a tablet whilst at ‘camp’ 😂

You are doing fine, don’t stress and keep smiling grin

nopenothappening Fri 17-Apr-20 20:17:15

I'm sorry, but which part of your post are you feeling sad about? I've re-read it multiple times because I genuinely don't understand what you're upset about in order to try to be helpful.

You're providing some structure and routine. Your 4yo doesn't need you trying to teach them to read. Less than a couple of hours per day tv is not a big deal. Not wanting to go outside when it's grey is not unusual. Being bored sometimes is normal. Time spent doing daily tasks or playing made up games or whatever is just as worthwhile as anything else you're trying to do.

I think you're expecting way too much of yourself and being unrealistic. Scale it back down to the basics.

Didkdt Fri 17-Apr-20 20:18:37

It sounds creative and productive and you and they need down time these are unique times.
How's your mood generally?

PoppliosBubble Fri 17-Apr-20 20:59:51

I can’t leave them to do anything on their own - every time I turn my back they’re murdering each other. I know their situation is good compared to a lot of kids. I just feel so sad about all the things I’d planned to do with them - I had two weeks off work that I’d booked and for once we didn’t have any commitments so there was so much planned.

I know it’s the same for everyone, I know I’m lucky in that I only have to work a few hours a day. I just hate seeing them glued to their screens. I try and organise a couple of activities the night before but they always manage to wizz through them in ten minutes, then I run out of things to do and their glued to screens by 11am and I feel like I’m doing a shit job. I think the announcement of at least another 3 weeks is hitting home and I’m just feeling a bit crap about that. Sorry for the moan, I know it’s massively self indulgent considering everything.

Dinosaur Train is really educational but the mum pteranodon is incredibly irritating. Also Doctor Scott the palaeontologist really needs to wear a different shirt occasionally!

OP’s posts: |
Raver84 Fri 17-Apr-20 21:15:11

I wouldn't worry. If I was a child I'd be loving not going to school. Mine do about an hour in the morning and afternoon of work, I make them read each day. Bit of drawing. The have a film at lunchtime. A walk. Then the rest of the day they have to find something to do in the garden. Yes they argue, a lot. But they are learning too. They are then given an ipad after dinner til bedtime. I dont feel bad at all. We are doing our best, both working still. Being outside is good for them and me. It's those with no outside space at all or countryside near by I feel so sorry for.

Breckenridged Fri 17-Apr-20 22:06:13

Firstly it’s totally okay to feel sad for them while also recognising how (relatively) incredibly lucky they are.

Secondly if I were you I would make my focus on getting them playing happily together. I have 6. 4 and 1 year olds and they spend a significant amount of the day entertaining each other - they get one hour of screens, maybe one or two hours of me doing things with them (games, reading, art etc) and the rest they are playing with each other, especially the older two (the one year old is on a one toddler mission to go to A&E so needs to be more closely watched!)

I know it’s tough when it feels like they want to fight all the time but they really need you to sit with them, help them resolve their conflicts, then step away for a bit, and so on until they are able to do it by themselves. I still have to intervene numerous times daily but there are also times when the older pair will disappear off for a good couple of hours and play very cooperatively.

EYProvider Fri 17-Apr-20 22:13:28

I’m afraid at that age, I would be taking the devices away from them, opening the back door and chucking them out into the garden. Let them sort their own fights out like we had to at that age.

All these kids who need constant adult attention. What a nightmare it must be for everyone. Just let them get on with it. I promise you it will do them good.

Toybox88 Fri 17-Apr-20 22:53:33

My kids are the same age and I don't feel sorry for them at all. They're really happy. We have loads of time to go for walks and play in the garden. I don't understand parents who have to structure all of their children's time. They're not toddlers. Open the back door and leave them alone. Or sit out there with them and read a book and let them play. Let them be bored. Let them fight.

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