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Advice please

(11 Posts)
hippohector Thu 16-Apr-20 19:36:48

Sorry if this sounds like a stupid question, I need some advice please.
I live with DH and my 14yo DS (DH is DS’s stepdad. Not sure if this is relevant).
DH has a few minor underlying health issues, nothing major and not anything listed on the shielding list, but he isn’t the most healthy person.
We were having a conversation last night about what would happen if, god forbid, DS was to start showing signs of the virus. I know it’s unlikely at the moment because we are all following the social distancing guidelines, but when schools do eventually reopen, if DS gets it, what am I supposed to do about looking after him?
DH thinks DS is old enough to isolate in his room for 7 days, with us leaving meals/drinks etc outside for him to retrieve.
However, I’m not sure I am comfortable with this. I don’t think I could isolate my 14 year old son without checking he is ok, going into his room to take his temperature, etc.
He might not realise how poorly he is or know when to ask for help if he starts to struggle with his breathing etc.
Even though I would be putting myself at greater risk from catching it (and potentially passing it to DH as well) I feel like it is my duty as a mother to look after him.
14 is still fairly young in the scheme of things, and not all teens are sensible enough or wise enough to know what to do or when to seek further help.
Please don’t think DH is uncaring, he really isn’t, and the two of them have a great relationship.
Maybe he is being sensible and I need to loosen the apron strings. But DS is my only child and I just don’t know if I could just leave him to it.
What would you do?

OP’s posts: |
SeriouslySoDoneIn Thu 16-Apr-20 19:44:12

It is your duty to look after him and leaving him alone in his room without checking on him for 7 days would be outright dangerous. Besides you’re contagious before symptoms start...

nolovelost Thu 16-Apr-20 19:51:41

We're currently self isolating due to son having symptoms. He's better now but he stayed in his room. When he was displaying symptoms I did check on him, obviously you do as you naturally do as a mother. I wore gloves and also washed my hands, I tried not to stay in there for long, since the symptoms stopped I've not been in at all. I've left plates and drinks on his drawers next to the door. I've been well, not shown any symptoms.

hippohector Thu 16-Apr-20 20:46:48

Thanks both, my gut instinct would obviously be to check on him, but then I started to doubt myself..

OP’s posts: |
KeepWashingThoseHands Thu 16-Apr-20 20:58:42

What would you do/think appropriate if it was your DH for example? Then do that.

waltzingparrot Thu 16-Apr-20 21:16:40

I could potentially have this issue. No one in the household has it yet, but we are planning what we would do if it's DS15 that gets it first. He would move into our bedroom as it has an ensuite and a tv. I do plan to open the door, but talk to him at 2 metre distance. Basically, let him self isolate unless I'm worried about him and feel the need to go in and feel his temp etc and then I'd have to mask up etc. We would talk to him by phone/what's app but he does understand that it's very important the rest of us avoid it if we can ( 2 with health issues).

Presume he will have left the virus around the house though.

hippohector Thu 16-Apr-20 21:24:55

What would you do/think appropriate if it was your DH for example? Then do that
I suppose the difference is that DH is a grown man and I would trust he would have the knowledge and experience to recognise if things were getting serious and he needed medical attention.
I don’t think DS has the same capacity due to his age.

OP’s posts: |
adag Thu 16-Apr-20 21:31:58

My husband had it recently and we completely isolated him. Paper plates outside with food (when he felt like eating again, which he didn't for the first 5 days or so) was horrible not to be able to see him but we took the infection control quite seriously as we have a newborn and a 4 year old so couldn't afford to have both parents ill. We managed not to spread it.
FaceTime was very helpful, we also had the baby monitor in there (bizarre i know) but it meant I could keep an eye on what was going on. He took his own temperature.
Not sure what I would do with a teenager tbh. When my dh breathing deteriorated it was quick and quite scary even for a grown man.

hippohector Thu 16-Apr-20 21:37:57

@adag I hope your DH is ok now.
When his breathing deteriorated how did he know he was ok to manage at home rather than calling for an ambulance?
I hope you don’t mind me asking, this whole thing just petrifies me (along with everyone else I’m sure).
I really worry that I won’t trust my own judgement and will just panic.

OP’s posts: |
adag Fri 17-Apr-20 02:56:25

Hi @hippohector - he's recovering well now thanks, still exhausted and has secondary pneumonia though 😬. By the time his breathing got worse, he was in regular contact with the gp and they were assessing over video calls. The main assessment was how high he could count before having to stop for a breath / coughing fit. They told us to ring for an ambulance if it got below 10. Over the course of the morning it went from pretty comfortable to 30 to about 13 but then seemed to stabilise... it was quite scary. 🤞you avoid x

lyralalala Fri 17-Apr-20 03:06:05

We have a plan here that if it comes into our house both MIL (who is vulnerable because of age and a few health issues, but not shielding vulnerable) and the person, assuming it’s only of the teens/bigger kids old enough with, it/symptoms will isolate in bedrooms.
If one of the younger kids comes down with it then MIL will isolate in her room as it’d be impossible to keep a littlie away from her

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