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Dilemma over funeral arrangements

(9 Posts)
eastermummies Wed 15-Apr-20 20:35:08

I really want to support my dp .
His dm died and the funeral is next week .
Long story short his father wants him for obvious reasons to come and stay now for support .... stay over and take him to the funeral as that is what would have happened normally
He's desperate to support his dad at this time and it must be so hard for them all but I suggested considering the current situation he might be advised to go on day to the funeral only as hard as it will be .
They do live a long way away .
His father is elderly and we are both key workers . I'd hate to think of him passing anything onto his dad or anyone else and just want to do the right thing .
I want to tell him to just go to the funeral and not visit but I'm so close to this would really appreciate some advise please ?

OP’s posts: |
candle18 Wed 15-Apr-20 22:10:22

That’s really difficult. It may be against guidelines but if I was him I would be going to stay with my dad to support him at this time.

eastermummies Wed 15-Apr-20 23:29:49

Thanks for your reply .
I can't help wondering if I'm being a bit OTT .
That's his gut feeling .
I however am seeing the reality on a daily basis so probably to close to either .

OP’s posts: |
DuLANGDuLANGDuLANG Wed 15-Apr-20 23:43:16

Your partner needs to ensure his dad is aware of the risks. Once they’ve talked it all through, if his dad still wants him to stay, and he wants to be there, then he should probably go.

TemoraryUsername Wed 15-Apr-20 23:47:57

Oh that's a shitty situation for you all I'm so sorry xxx

I think in the circumstances I'd go and stay if I were your DH. And I'm usually very strict about lockdown

Soontobe60 Wed 15-Apr-20 23:49:01

OP, my DHs uncle died in hospital two weeks ago (not covid). His wife was on her own with no support. We got a phone call last week to tell us she had been found dead at home. Probably was her heart.
Please don't give your DH grief about him wanting to support his father at this awful time, please send him with your blessing.

CuppaZa Wed 15-Apr-20 23:50:42

If his dad is aware of the risks and wants support at a terrible time of loss, then of course he should go. FYI, I’m normally against travelling/being with non household members at this time

eastermummies Thu 16-Apr-20 09:13:43

Thank you all

OP’s posts: |
TheWooisStrong Thu 16-Apr-20 09:16:23

My FIL died last week (not Covid). Husband is just going down for the funeral next week, as we have all had suspected Covid and still have the tail end of a cough.
MIL has both SIL with her though, plus her own sister, so we don’t feel so bad.

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